[MUSIC]
I am so sorry.
I have to deliver this bad news to you.
There's nothing else I can do.
>> Are you being serious right now?
>> I hope you understand.
>> No, no, no. You're dumping this on us?
Are you hearing this?
You're just not going to say anything?
Okay, yeah, no, I can't deal with this, I'm just going to leave.
>> Difficult meetings, difficult partners, difficult emotions.
>> [LAUGH] >> Half of us MBA twos, MSX-ers,
will be graduating two weeks.
The other half, you'll be out of here in less than you can imagine.
And out there in the real world as leaders, there will come a time,
when you will have to deliver uncomfortable news, to unhappy crowd.
Breaking a partnership in your start-up.
Letting go of an employee.
Quitting your first post GSB job.
This news are hard to deliver.
So how do we go about it?
We've compiled knowledge from some of Stanford GSB's most popular classes and
professors.
Including managing growing enterprises and strategic communications and
other public sources like Forbes, Business Development Council.
And authorities in this topic to bring you some clear steps that you can follow
when you have to deliver bad news.
But before we get into the steps, let's take a look at what our goals should be.
What your goal, the spot regardless of the message, regardless of the news you're
going to deliver, what is your goal, and it should be two fold.
On the one hand, you must be clear,
you want your message to come across unambiguously.
On the other hand, you want to display empathy and compassion.
Yes, delivering hard news is hard.
But receiving them is harder.
And you cannot expect everyone to react calmly.
After all, only a handful of your colleagues will have taken to believe.
So we propose, we're here to give you four steps to help you prepare for
delivering bad news, managing your body language as you do,
being ready to react confrontation if it arises, and closing and following up.
>> Effective communication begins before the meeting.
How many of you had to deliver bad news before?
How many of you think you got it well?
One person, good odds.
It's hard in a sense, right?
So we put together a couple of tips for you to deliver the message.
As effectively as you can.
Number one, put yourself in the shoes of your audience.
Think about how each member of your audience will perceive your message.
What are the most pressing questions that will come in their mind?
Use the answers to these as the goal of your message.
Role play, we've done a lot of this at the GSB, but it cannot be emphasized enough.
Practice your speech until you can deliver it calmly and confidently.
Take a friend, roleplay the Q&A with them.
In fact, we would even say that, think of the two worst case scenarios possible.
Practice those out as well.
One worst case scenario could be someone threatening to sue you.
It's possible.
Number three, bad news first, don't beat around the bush.
We have a tendency as human beings to sugarcoat bad news.
We try and fit it in between seemingly better pieces of news.
Don't do that.
This is what you're all paid the big bucks for.
Be bold, put in the first 60 seconds of your conversation.
This gives the audience the time to internalize the message, and
also gives you the time to see their reactions to the same.
Another thing you can do is be mindful of your choice of venue.
The same message delivered to a standing crowd in the middle of an office
will be interpreted very differently from a campfire at an offsite.
Think about your venue and use it to your advantage.
>> Let's do a little activity.
I want you guys to close your eyes.
And bring yourselves back to the most stressful meeting you have ever been
a part of.
You're feeling pressure, anxiety, nervousness beyond your control.
Your heart is beating fast, your muscles are tense, your palms are sweaty.
You don't know what to do.
You're dreading what's happening next.
And open your eyes, and be conscious of your body.
Most of you have crunched up.
I saw a few eyebrows furrowing and
some starting to nervously shake, and that's what I want you guys to remember.
Is that even when you don't intend to, your body will show your emotions.
And in a crisis situation, your body language matters.
Your audience will be looking to you for cues.
Think of kids in a playground.
When a child falls, what is the first thing they do?
They look behind at their parents to see their reaction.
If the parent is freaking out, the kid will inevitably start to scream.
But if their calm, then the child will simply pick themselves up and
go back to play.
Just like children, you're audience will be looking to you for
cues on how to act and to assess the severity of the situation.
Your body language must therefore exude calmness, control and grounding.
First, make sure that you position yourself at the center of the room or
in the middle of the table.
This exudes control and leadership.
Second, maintain a calm but firm demeanor throughout.
Use a neutral but empathetic expression.
Sit up straight, torso towards your audience and make good eye contact.
Do not, I repeat do not, look down.
Because that will show that you're not equipped for the situation.
And finally, make sure your audience feels heard.
If you do not, you're risking alienating, losing.
And even angering your audience members, that if they feel disrespected or ignored
So what you can do is lean in, tilt your head slightly, and when someone is talking
to you, make sure you nod your head to acknowledge what they're saying.
>> Okay, so you prepared.
Your body language is on point, but
you can't quite control how the other person is going to react.
Let's see what could happen.
>> Do you agree with me now.
Do you hear me now.
>> I know how many times you've had this conversation man??
>> Okay, that's fine.
What just happened?
>> [LAUGH] You've just been confronted in a meeting.
It got emotional.
It got personal.
Raise your hand if you've been in this situation before.
What did it feel like?
>> Jason, what did it feel like?
>> Flooded, I think is the.
>> Flooded.
What else?
>> Feelings in the moment.
Ron. >> Hostile.
>> What's that?
>> Do you need a hostile moment or are you just-
>> Hostile, right.
Maybe your heart was racing, your palms got sweaty, you felt kind of fight or
flight situation.
You want to fight back.
You want to fight fire with fire.
Let's think through, though, in this tough situation,
what's the right way to really handle it.
First take a deep breath, stay calm.
Assess the situation objectively and remember remind yourself
there is no lion in the room with you even though you might feel like there is.
By staying calm, you'll be able to take stock of the situation and do so calmly.
Second, think about the optimal outcome for the whole team objectively,
not just in the moment thinking about the optimal outcome for
you in a one-on-one battle with this other person.
Three, now it's time to actually act.
What's the mantra here?
Defuse, defuse, defuse your gut instinct is going to be to fight fire with fire.
But what happens when we fight fire with fire?
What do you get?
Just a bigger fire.
That doesn't help anyone.
You want to calm the situation and by calming tensions.
That'll make it that much harder for the other person to stay angry at you.
Finally, try to separate the issue from the person.
Identify what the real issue is.
Why is this person actually angry?
Could it be about the layoffs from last week?
Or is it possible that their boss has been taking credit for all their work.
If you identify the real issue that's driving their anger.
And you separate the issue from the person.
It'll allow you and
the team to be that much likelier to come out of the situation a winner.
>> So we talk about preparing before the meeting.
We talk about body language.
And we talk about how to confront, how to handle the loud noise in the room.
But how about we end the meetings?
When emotions are on the fire,
when everyone is very emotional, it's hard to get good outcomes.
It's hard to be hard, but how you end the meetings will make a huge difference.
So, here are four tips from my side, first set a timer.
I know this is very, very simple, but very, very effective.
Once everyone in the meeting have a sense of limited time,
they tends to focus on what is important.
Second, repeat.
Repeat the key message.
And it's hard to deliver the bad news even first time.
And delivering second time, even more hard.
I couldn't deliver here, knowing it was so hard when I was roleplaying.
But it's so much work taking that pain,
because once everyone leaves that room people are often confused.
How many of you, well, in your experience, leave the meeting and
felt that I'm not sure why I was even invited.
I'm not sure what the message of the meeting.
I can feel like a lot of us in that room had that experience.
So repeating the message, even though it's very painful, is the key.
Third, offer next steps.
I found this quote very, very interesting.
When Rome was burning,
people still wanted to know what the future of the city would look like.
People are always curious.
It's important to tell them what's next, what they can expect from you and
what's my expectations from them.
And keeping that, and laying out those next steps.
Make them even align.
So, follow
up, when there is heat in the room and when there is enough argument,
it's good to follow up on the people and catch up on what they're doing.
Once there's some time gap between that meeting and
once you follow up you plan more comeback.
And they would hear you more.
It will also set a good energy when next meeting.
So follow-up is crucial.
>> Thank you.
So we talk body language, preparation, handling confrontation, and closing.
At this point, we'd love for you to engage with us either with questions or comments.
If you have any experiences dealing with this we would
also love to hear your voice now.