[Applause] our next guest you know all week long we've had uh young comedians making their
Network television debut with us and tonight will be the last one uh-huh it's been great
this is the final night of comedians making their Network television debut
uh this man regularly performs at the Gotham Comedy Club right here
in New York City please welcome the very funny Jim Gaffigan Jim [Music] [Applause]
all right hello hello it is good to be here I am originally from Indiana and
I know what most of you are thinking Indiana Mafia
there's a different kind of Pride where I'm from you know it's not like we're from New York we're
tough but we're from Texas we like things big it's more like we're from Indiana and we're gonna move
now the reason I look like this is uh because
my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John [Applause]
yeah I trust people with glasses don't you it's like well ask him he's got glasses
but if you're wearing your glasses like this get away from them would you ever take directions from
someone that looks like us where you gotta go 53rd Street well why don't we take my spaceship
I gotta pick up Santa Claus anyway
you know the only advantage of wearing glasses is that dramatic removal you ever see that my God
holy
stringing some water backstage some bottled water I I feel kind of silly
buying bottled water maybe I'm just too Midwestern every time I go in a store
I'm always like hey how you doing yeah I know I can get water free from any faucet
but I want to pay for it I'm just curious do you have any air back there
it is water right how did we get to the point where we're paying for
bottled water that must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France
yeah some french guy was sitting there he's like how dumb do I think the Americans are
I bet you we could I bet you we could show those idiots Walter
Gareth the Americans are pretty dumb but they're not gonna buy water oh yes oh yes there
let's just tell the Americans The Waters from France
I don't know if you like me when they first introduced bottled water I thought it was
so funny I was like puddled water they're selling bottled water I guess I'll try it
oh this is good this is more watery than water
it's got a water kick to it [Applause]
I took a nap today I love sleep huh yeah
have you uh have you ever been asleep at night and you're awakened by a noise
you're convinced is someone breaking in your house and they're gonna kill
you but instead of getting up and escaping you just go back to bed
what is that a murderer I gotta get some sleep [Applause] kill me if I'm asleep
that'd be embarrassing you get to heaven you know hey how'd you die on me I I was
too lazy to get out of bed uh I heard the guy in the kitchen I thought I had an hour
sleep is important isn't it so you can make it give up any principle you
ever been invited to something yeah hey you want to help the homeless
yeah I'll help the homeless made it Saturday at 9am forget the homeless
I mean they're homeless in the afternoon too right
my favorite food is uh Mexican food I actually used to be a waiter in a Mexican restaurant in
Indiana I know you're impressed Mexican food's great but it's essential the same ingredients
so as a way that you'd always have to deal with these stupid questions you know people be like
what is nachos nachos tortilla with cheese meat or vegetables ah well then what is a burrito
tortilla with cheese meat or vegetables
then what is it tostada tortilla with cheese made or vegetables then what is look it's all the same
Mexican food is great but it is all the same you know it's almost a conspiracy it's almost
like they had a meeting 200 years ago in Mexico and one guy stood up he was like
Hey look the reason I got everyone here is pretty simple uh I figure we could rename
this one entree seven times sell it to the North Americans the friends said it was a good idea
now uh who's in on it and then one guy in the back stood up and goes
wouldn't that be dishonest well if you keep your mouth shut we'll name
one of the entrees after you what's your name my name is Jimmy changa [Applause]
[Music]