Next question. Hey, Tripp big fan of your show. I started listening a few months ago,
and I've gotten through a bunch of episodes so far, and taken some great notes so thank
you for your advice. I'm a 31 year old divorced single dad, who co-parents with my ex wife. My
ex wife and I get along great and we have 50/50 custody with our five year old son. I work a lot.
If I'm not with my son, I'm working. My parents also live with me at the moment. They plan to move
out in about a year from now, then I can finally live by myself again. I find it extremely hard to
keep a woman my age interested after I tell them I'm a single dad who lives with his parents and
has limited time to date or even hang out. My question for you is, am I in a position to date
women to potentially get serious with? Or do you think I need to fix my work/life balance before I
start dating? And if I do need to fix my work/life balance first, do you have any tips for me? Tripp,
I need you man. Help me out and guide me in the right direction to potentially find a woman
who will understand my situation. Much love, your anonymous real estate friend. Great question.
This is a really good question. What should you do? Well they plan to move out in about a year
from now. I want to dive into that sentence. They plan to move out in about a year from now.
Why a year from now? What is happening in a year from now that they need to do that?
Can they move out sooner? Can you help them out financially to move out sooner?
Can you get them to move out sooner? Because living with your parents, yes, it's not ideal.
And it's interesting how they live with you, which is the better case. It'd be not so good
if you lived with them. They live with you. Can you get them out sooner? If so, I would do that.
If you can't do that, well, it is what it is. They're with you for a year and they are going
to be moving to wherever they're going to be. Now, let's move on to the single dad part of
this. The single dad part is not as big of a deal as you would think. Do women who want kids do they
ideally want to be with a guy who's already a dad? Probably not. If you were to give them the
question and sitting in a very logical space with them, most of them will probably say
no. But that's the logical space. And when a woman meets you and you build attraction and she
sees that you're an awesome guy who's a catch, who meets all the requirements that she's looking for,
and there's a lot of requirements that are actually more important than you having a kid,
then you know what's going to happen. She's going to backwards rationalize why she should be with
you, even though your situation is not ideal, so to speak. Being a single dad, yes, it's going
to filter out a handful of women. But you're not screwed. And I'm not just saying that to make you
feel better. It's what I've seen. In my coaching program, we work with a lot of single dads,
and a lot of guys who are divorced or going through a divorce and sharing custody and we're
able to get them women, no problem. And you're at an age of 31 and 31 is a good age because you
have more options of women. You'll have options of women all the way from 21 all the way to 40 years
old because you're in that sweet spot. You're not in as bad of a place as you think you are.
Now with the fact that your parents live with you, I have the same advice
and the same thoughts. To be honest, you still might be able to meet a few women who...
they might see that as well, that's a lot. You got a full house over there.
But again, if they're attracted to you, they might not care. It really all depends on
how you come across. If you're building attraction, using the TED formula, and
you are coming into the dating world with a very positive attitude because imagine this,
if you didn't have a positive attitude and you're on a date with a girl and
you start confessing "Yeah, I have a kid. I know that that's a problem for some women." Like
you're actually saying that. Or you're saying "Yeah, I'm living my parents. My parents are
so annoying, but hopefully they're gonna move out in a year." It's like if you talk like that
and you bring up stuff in such a negative way, she's gonna be unattracted. She's gonna go "Wow,
this guy's a mess. He's got a lot going on." And then you're going to start repelling women.
To answer your question, you said in your first question, am I in a position to date women to
potentially get serious with? The answer is yeah, I think you are. It's not ideal,
and I would do everything you can to work on your parents moving out as soon as possible.
But if you're really looking for someone right now, then yeah, I don't see why not. I don't see
why not. Another thing you might want to think of too, and this is very specific to your case,
you want to date but what are you looking for? Are you looking to just sleep around? Are you
trying to get married again? Are you trying to have another kid with another woman? Is
that something you want to do? Something to think about because if that's not the case, and you're
just looking to have fun and sleep with some women, then absolutely none of this is a problem.
You can sleep with women and go on dates with them and you can date. But your question was, am
I in a position to date women to potentially get serious with? You're not at the most advantaged.
But I still think you can. Your next question, or do you think I need to fix my work life balance
before I start dating? Again, same answer, I think you can totally just continue to date.
And why not anyways? It's like, alright, just date and if you end up going through a bunch of
women who just aren't interested because of your situation, well you're in the same place anyways,
right? You're just a little bit wiser from all the reference experiences that you're having
and all the dating that you're doing and dating is going to make you learn more about what you want.
Your next question said, and if I do need to fix my work life balance first,
do you have any tips for me? Well I gave you that answer. First things first, parents have to go.
Whatever you got to do. Obviously you're not going to kick them out. They're your parents.
Respect your elders. I just mean, if there's any way you can help them move out
in a nice way. I don't know the details, but if you can, that's ideal.
Yeah, I think women will understand your situation because your parents are not there permanently.
That's good. You can even be saying that to them. Yeah,
my parents are living with me just for the moment because of X, Y and Z.
And that you share custody of your son, so you're not even with your son all the time.
And that leaves you more room to date. And you have a great situation with your ex
wife. That's also cool. Not a lot of people have that. There's a lot of guys out there
who have terrible relationships with their exes and it's a battle all the time. But you guys get
along great. And you can even say to them on the dates if they ever ask, you can imply like, "Yeah,
me and my ex wife... it just wasn't meant to be for us to be romantic and married, but luckily
we're great friends and there's never any drama in my life. And again, that's what's really important
– telling the person and sharing with the woman that you're on the date with that there's no drama
in your life, that your life is easy. It's figured out, it's handled, you're effective,
you know what you're doing. You're the man who has it figured out. That's sexy to women.
Women want to know that. That you're an effective man of society,
not someone who gets stepped on, not someone who is weak, emotionally. Not someone who is unable to
go through life in... we'll say in many ways in a positive direction,
or go through life with ease, go through life in being in control.
You need to be those aformentioned things for the woman to be attracted.