Hey everyone, PushingUpRoses here and welcome back to my channel of fun; today I am stepping
away from murder mystery, games, and horror for a little holiday magic. And when I say magic, I
mean literal magic because we have some Christmas Time Travel on our plate. You’re probably not new
to romantic time travel movies, specifically ones where a woman falls head over heels for a
chivalrous man from decades past, but are you aware of the insane amount of CHRISTMAS time
travel rom coms? Oh yes, there are many. Recently Netflix hopped on the feel good holiday movie
train and there’s a lot to choose from; typically my jam are the lifetime and hallmark movies,
but they are held to a lot of restrictions, making them too saccharine to watch over and over again,
however, Netflix can jump ahead into a PG-13 rating. Oh my god, SEX?? MY VIRGIN EYES.
So yes, I’ve been watching more on Netflix than the other family friendly channels. I came across
the Knight Before Christmas, starring Vanessa Hudgens, and wasn’t totally ecstatic since I
had just viewed the Princess Switch 2 which went totally off the rails; I thought I hit my quota
for Vanessa Hudgens Christmas Universe films, but I decided to take a chance on this one because
why not. I can honestly say I liked this film - if you’re gonna watch a Hudgens holiday movie,
go with this one. And if you’re wondering how this movie managed to charm me,
then stick around because I, a woman in her mid 30s, is going to tell you how this fantasy romance
fairy tale won my heart, while also having some good natured laughs at the ridiculous parts.
We start with a snowy landscape, portraying England in 1334. Two scheming knights,
Sir Cole and Sir Jeffrey, are participating in the annual hawking competition;
they decide to work together and split up so they have a better chance at winning.
Then we abruptly get the title screen, which… ehhhh… Look. It’s better than almost
ALL of the Hallmark movie title screens, they still use the Papyrus font for theirs.
Cut to Ohio, 2019. Not the most boring state, but not the most exciting state either.
Good old middle of the road Ohio. Our protagonist, Brooke Winters is consoling
one of her students after her boyfriend broke up with her. And by console, I mean she tells
her that romance is pretty much a lie and to focus on her goals, which in theory SOUNDS good
and productive but I’m not sure telling someone they’ll never find a true connection with anyone
is the best course of action. Brooke: “We all grow up wanting to fantasize about being a princess
and finding true love with a knight in shining armor and living happily ever after,
but the thing is…” It’s all BULLSHIT.
Cole is now lost in the woods, but he happens upon an old lady with haphazardly colored in eyebrows.
As a side note, I watched this movie with the captions on because I didn’t want to
miss any dialogue, and when Cole finds the woman I got one that said [faint tinkling];
and thought someone was peeing just a little bit.
This scene is basically the antithesis of Beauty and the Beast - the woman asks for help,
Cole offers it, and he is rewarded with some nebulous quest to become a true knight. My GOD,
this woman looks like she’s about to hump him - her eyes are dartin’ all over the place. Old Woman
with Bad Eyebrows: “Because of your kindness, I will tell you this.” Pee is stored in the balls.
She gives him a magical amulet and promises he will travel to a faraway land to fulfil his
dreams. She disappears in a flash of questionable computer graphics. Cole: “Old crone?” (zip noise)
Excuse me? Oh… right. In this context, crone means a wise woman, and in this movie specifically:
Cole: “A wise woman who presents herself in various disguises to test the hearts of knights,”
but most people equate crones with hags that are a little more sinister in nature, like Baba Yaga.
So Cole is transplanted into present day Ohio, as you can guess. Not just any part of Ohio,
specifically he is poofed to a holiday fest, and I gotta say; I feel like Cole should be
WAY more alarmed by his surroundings because he would not know what ANYTHING is. Even *I*
am horrified by this absurd amount of Christmas cheer and I’m used to it. A group of young girls,
thinking he is a performer, runs up to take a selfie with him and he is strangely calm.
This may sound very pedantic but I have a strong dislike for this Mr. and Mrs. Claus;
look at these horrible gray wigs! I want them to be snow
white wigs with the texture of silk, not gray and straw-like.
Brooke’s niece asks for a puppy and a new boyfriend for her Aunt. Awkward. Satna:
“Oh ho ho ho nooo!” While wandering aimlessly in the street,Cole is hit full on by Brooke,
who wasn’t able to see well due to the harsh weather conditions. Cole: “EGADS!” Idle:
Did you get the number of that donkey cart?
He’s taken to the hospital and diagnosed with amnesia - the officer who met Brooke on the scene
explains to her that he thinks he’s a 14th century knight. He was also not hurt even a little by the
impact of the crash due to his armor, which is why he had a LOT of time to blurt out Cole: “Egads!”
Brooke addresses him as Cole, expressing that she is glad he’s okay.
Cole: “Tis Sir Cole.” Brooke: “Sir Cole?” Okay, all I am hearing is circle. Like the
shape. Brooke: “Sir Cole?” Cole: “Sir Cole.” Officer: “Sir Cole.” Brooke: “Sir Cole.”
Because she is incredibly trusting of strange men who think they are 14th century knights,
she invites him to stay in her guest house while he recovers.
….Plus he’s really hot. Cole: At your service fair maiden.” Ohh my…
Sir Cole proves himself to be a little bumbling, a little naive,
extremely chivalrous, and totally dreamy. “BEJABBERS.”
He’s adorable. One of the more likeable men in a romantic fantasy movie. His intentions are just so
pure, as unbelievable as they are, and because of that Brooke finds herself very taken by him.
Brooke: Guest house around here, it’s nothing special but it should be nice and
co….cozy.” You know, us women… we don’t NEED saving. But sometimes we really like it. *wink*
Sir Cole tries to adjust to his new surroundings in humorous ways, the humor being hit and miss
depending on who you are, while blurting out random medieval times speak, and again, he is just
so….calm. This is the chillest man I’ve ever seen. “Tis winter in here!”
He takes a bath and wanders around in his towel, and normally this would be extremely
weird but Brooke is very charmed by his… personality. Her sister is a little concerned,
stating that he could be dangerous. Brooke: “Trust me, he’s harmless.” *battle music plays*
Brooke takes him out to a diner so he doesn’t end up eating the local wildlife in the area,
and he asks for Mead - meaning hot chocolate. Yes, when they met at the festival, she spilled hot
chocolate on him, he tasted it, and exclaimed that it was the most delicious mead he has ever tasted;
while I adore this sweet summer child’s naivety, there is no way in hell that I believe he thinks
hot chocolate tastes like ANYTHING alcoholic. But this joke is recurring, so someone was proud of
it. Cole: What is this delicious mead? Berries, washed down with some of that delicious mead you
spilled on me at the castle. “This must be that delicious Mead I’ve heard so much of.”
When Brooke turns in for the night, Sir Cole takes the opportunity to “learn her dialect”,
via watching TV. Awww, look at him having big thoughts. Just wait until he gets to
the paid programmer. Call 1-800-get-sexy! Cole: “Modern technology is lit AF” Oh god.
Cole helps Brooke put up some of her Christmas decorations and they bond over family memories.
I do give this movie credit for focusing on the leads’ chemistry more than other holiday films
do. COUGHLoveActually. As they get a little closer, Cole asks Brooke to drop the Sir in front
of his name. Cole: “But formalities can cease now that we’re” undressing each other with our eyes.
Okay, let’s move this along a bit faster because I think you know where this story is going
to go - the quest is going to be one of love, Brooke being the object of Cole’s affections.
He tries several other things to fulfil his quest, like tackling a thief who stole someone’s purse,
and saving Brooke’s niece from an icy fate, but the quest for love is what will make him a true
knight. During all of this, Brooke educates him on the present day, while Cole tells her about
his life from young squire to knight, and they do all of these syrupy sweet things.
Brooke finds Cole so convincing that she starts to believe in the possibility of time travel,
and encourages him to keep following his dream, which would be very unhealthy enabling if he
wasn’t actually a knight. There is also some heartwarming kid shit going on - at one point
Claire, Brooke’s niece, discovers one of her friends doesn’t have warm gloves because her
dad can’t afford to buy his kids new clothes, so she offers hers. Keeping in line with the
time of giving, there is also a small plot where Brooke and her friends offer a special christmas
with gifts and Santa to the Father, and donate some money to him so he can get back on his
feet. It’s a Christmas movie people, we can’t just have giddy romance, we need GOOD DEEDS.
After Cole fulfills his quest of opening his heart and finding true love, he has to go back
to his own time, which Brooke is strangely okay with because she now fully believes in him. He
uses the amulet to return home and Brooke is left heartbroken.This is the WORST Christmas I’ve ever
had, my boyfriend just poofed out of existence and what I do with all this mead!? I suppose
this does mean she has some proof for the time travel. Now having felt the sting of true love,
she tells her young student that it does exist. Back in his own time, Circle tells his brother
he fell in love, and even though this is the day of his knighting ceremony, Jeffrey tells
him he must go to his fair maiden. Jeffrey: “I carry you with me. Here.” In my shoulder.
Claire gets a puppy for Christmas and no one knows where it came
from. Claire: “I’m going to name it Knight, what do you think Aunt Brooke?” I think it’s trite.
Cole finds the Crone and tells her he understands the importance of love
and asks to be returned to Ohio, she is happy to do so.
He and Brooke are reunited and they share a kiss… a kiss that I am not
sure if Brooke is enjoying. Those are some tight lips. *windows TA DA sound*
Welp, I’m sufficiently woo’d. Okay, before I start breaking down exactly why this worked
for me personally, don’t get me wrong; this isn’t a masterpiece. I know this. You know… I am also a
visual artist. I paint and draw, and so rarely do I create what I’d consider a masterpiece,
but despite the flaws and quirks in my technique, my pieces seem to make people happy. So I don’t
need this movie to be a masterpiece, I just need to get some kind of joy out of it. In this case,
it was a THIRSTY joy, definitely catering to those who want an idyllic, fairy tale romance
with a polite, kind hearted KNIGHT as the love interest. And there are definitely reasons as to
why this held my attention. Yes, the knight is hot, and that was a big one, but mostly,
I found it more charming and believable than other holiday romances. And I know what you’re thinking:
How can this be believable, they couldn’t even get good wigs? There is a difference between full on
belief, and the suspension of disbelief. Things in this movie would absolutely, 100% not happen
in real life, but I DO believe they are happening in this story. That’s all I need, I don’t need to
find everything realistic, I JUST need to believe the story that is being told, and for the most
part, I did. I thought the most successful part of this film WAS creating that fantasy romance. Now,
I can’t speak for every woman, but as someone who’s dated some pure trash,
I’m going to go ahead and tell you why Sir Cole worked.
Not that I’m saying murder is a good idea, but Cole’s insistence on torturing one of Brooke’s
crappy ex boyfriends is pretty great. Cole: If he broke your betrothal and ruined you,
I believe it is my quest to see him run through.” I definitely have a few exes that could use a…
good run through.
His charm is off the charts. Just OFF the charts. He is not jealous, he is not tempted by other
women, which by the way, something you see in a LOT of rom coms COUGHLOVEACTUALLY, he can bake,
cook, is good with kids… the man is too good to be true, and this is the fantasy I need in my life.
Yes, I want a hot British Hunk to slay my ex and worship the ground I walk on. A lot of attention
was given to the connection between Brooke and Cole, and while I don’t think someone from the
Middle Ages could really communicate with someone in present times, I did find their interactions
and romance believable. This is mostly due to Josh Whitehouse’s charming performance, and Hudgen’s
more down to earth performance. I feel like I need to point out that Hudgens plays some comically
evil and unrealistic characters in the Princess Switch movies, and that’s part of why those movies
didn’t land with me. There were lots of meddling characters, characters with ulterior motives,
romances that were a bit too shallow. Actually, It’s interesting that there isn’t another romantic
interest shoehorned into this movie, because that usually serves as the conflict. You know
the story. Girl dates an asshole guy, but keeps giving the asshole guy a chance, comes apon a guy
who treats her well, there’s a misunderstanding and she ALMOST GOES BACK to asshole guy,
but it all works in the end. There is NONE of that in this movie; Brooke always has faith in Cole,
and Cole feels committed to her, making this one of THEE most feel good movies I’ve ever seen.
There isn’t any unnecessary drama - in fact if you are looking for a movie with deeper meaning,
this ain’t it. This is more akin to light hearted fairy tale,
with magic and romance and overly cutesy dialogue.
Brooke is not what I would call a strong female character, because I don’t know
enough about her to determine that - like a lot of romance fantasies, she’s more of a
blank character that women, and really anyone of any gender, can envision themselves as,
and I absolutely think there is a place for this kind of escapism. It’s hard to take these movies
seriously because there are so many, Hallmark churns them out like crazy, but just in general,
I don’t hate fluffy fantasy for the intention of mental diversion, especially for women in
their thirties because as you know, when you hit your 30s you lose all your sex appeal
and shrivel up and die. Furthermore, Brooke is not what I would describe as a damsel in distress;
she’s not in distress. She’s actually fine - she was fine before meeting Cole, and she’s fine
after meeting him. The difference is now she has a cool knight that carries around a sword and her
heart is a little more open to love; you don’t need to be in distress to find those things.
Something else I appreciate about this film is probably one of the most cliche things about it,
and that is when Cole fulfilled his quest for love he was rewarded with happiness. Now that sounds
like some stereotypical rom com crap, but here’s why I like it; as mentioned, Cole does a lot of
other things that were brave or humble, and Brooke thinks those are the things that deserve reward,
but Cole says though they might be acts of valor, that’s not what makes someone a knight. Again,
super flowery, but part of me appreciates that the film has Cole doing these thoughtful things for no
reward, because they shouldn’t be rewarded. He does them because it’s just nice, or the right
thing to do, and nobody needs to be given a gold star simply for being a good person. The reason he
is “rewarded” for finding love is because he found it in himself to open up, be vulnerable, and trust
someone else, because being in tune with your emotions is just much more rewarding, or at least
it should be. Especially important is showing men in a more vulnerable position where they
are willing to be open with people. This theme is also what makes it extremely cheesy because
it really doesn’t go any deeper than “FOLLOW YOUR HEART.” Cole: “You made me believe in yourself.”
That’s all well and good, but I do want to talk about some of the more off-putting elements
in this movie; right at the VERY end Claire gets a puppy for Christmas, and nobody knows
who got it for her. Brooke says it’s Christmas magic, and there is no further answer to this.
Now, because Cole hadn’t returned yet, I thought this might be a sign that he was returning,
maybe he got her the puppy, but NOPE. This left me feeling really frustrated because it
felt unrealistic within the story and it kind of killed my enthusiasm; even if it IS the magic of
Christmas, there still needs to be a reason or a way for the puppy to appear. When watching this a
second time, I realized that while spying on Cole, the old crone had disguised herself as Mrs. Claus,
and she is the one who Claire talked to when she asked for a puppy. That absolutely HAS
to be the answer, but it’s not elaborated on, nobody figures it out, it’s just POOF. Magic
puppy. I’m willing to believe this puppy was given to Claire via prestidigitation, but it
needs to be woven into the story more clearly - there was WAY too long of a gap in between
Claire seeing Santa and getting this puppy, so I was not able to make the connection.
Another tiring thing is the joke of Cole not understanding modern things. Some parts did get
a genuine chuckle out of me: when he’s stacking cans of hot chocolate into a shopping card,
when he is sampling bread rolls and kind of spitting them out unbeknownst
to Brooke… there’s some decent silly humor here, but there’s only so many times I can
laugh at Cole discovering a new thingie and interacting with it in a comical way.
But these things did not destroy my enjoyment of the film - it’s not profound or deep,
but you may walk away from this feeling a little happier. It’s also wonderful to riff on,
even though it’s not a particularly bad movie - as you can see I had a lot of fun jabbing at..
I have watched a lot, and I mean a LOT of these family feel-good holiday movies this year and I
can say with confidence that this is one of the better ones. In fact, I think it was a delight.
And even if you totally disagree with me and now think I am a thirsty woman of a certain age
who wants men to submit to me and carry out my every wish...which is valid… then I hope
you at least enjoyed my commentary.. Thank you so much for listening to my ramblings
and affinity to cute men in chainmail - Have a happy holiday and I will see you in the new year.
Hey everyone, thanks again for watching me cheer for a possible mediocre christmas movie,
wasn’t that fun? If you want to see more from me, I have PLENTY of videos on this channel,
but first, I want to give a huge thank you to my patrons;
thank you so much who support my channel - it’s meant a lot to me, especially during
these harder times, and I am grateful to have it. If you can’t afford to donate, please consider
sharing, commenting, or giving a thumbs up. Apparently the YouTube algorithm likes that.
If you wanna see more from me, check out these:
On the right we have a christmas episode of the Golden Girls where they are held hostage by Santa
Claus, and on the lrft I have my previous video on Murder, She Wrote! Thank you so much for watching;
however you celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, and if you don’t,
then I hope you just have an amazing day. As always, I’ll see you in the next one.