- Hi, it is 8:30 in the morning at the BuzzFeed offices.
Basically, nobody is here.
I'm wearing barely any makeup.
Everybody was talking about how they wanted to see my desk,
in Devin's video where she went through her purse.
Because, apparently they have some sort of death wish
for their eyes.
- We'll have a fun little video in a couple months
where we go through the shit that's on Kristin's desk.
Calling you out on that, Kristin.
- I feel like this is a mistake on all of your parts,
but that's okay.
Everyone talks about how my desk is a total disaster,
and I know where everything is.
It's fine, you'll see it.
Let's, let's go.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to Jurassic Farts.
The thing is, is that I don't really have room for a monitor
like everyone else, because I'm busy with every other
piece of matter on Earth.
(upbeat music)
I know what you're thinking.
How do I actually do work at this desk?
Usually, I just kind of do this move,
until there's enough room for my laptop,
and then I just sort of pretend
the rest of this isn't happening.
I try to keep everything on my borders,
but leaks do occur.
Where do I start?
Here is a tank top from a project we did several months ago,
which we never took the tags off of, for some reason.
It's a small so I can't wear it.
Oh, here's a sound grenade.
This actually can scare off a bear if you set it off.
It's to keep people from trying to attack you.
I've never taken it out of the package.
So, it's actually useless to me.
Here is a safety light stick,
in case we get caught in an earthquake,
and then someone can find me, 'cause it'll be all glowy.
Or if I collapse under the rubble of all this,
someone can find me.
A lipstick palette!
I didn't even know we had this.
I'll be sure to put this back in the pile,
and then completely forget about it.
I'm not gonna lie, I don't have explanations
for a lot of this stuff.
Here's some eyelash curlers.
I also didn't realize I had these too.
So many treasures!
Oh, it's my four year anniversary card from Ladylike,
from back in September.
Here's a bobblehead.
Starlord from Guardians of the Galaxy.
Here is a Funko Pop of Gus Fring from Breaking Bad.
I actually didn't know where these were for a long time.
Oh, is this a Nordstrom gift card?
Ohhh!
I have no idea what this is from.
Ladylike gave me this at some point.
This would've never seen the light of day.
So actually you're all doing me a good service.
Aw, this is the birthday card Jasmine gave me.
She knows me very well.
I can't get rid of cards, ever.
Even if they just say happy birthday in them.
I think about how someone wrote me a message,
saying that they love me,
and I hate throwing those things away.
Also, in case you might've guessed,
I'm a compulsive hoarder.
Here's a touch pad I don't use
'cause I don't have a monitor.
Here is a wireless keyboard I don't use,
because I don't have a monitor.
Wait, is this another lip palette?
You know, I forgot all my makeup at home,
which is why I'm not really wearing any,
and it turns out there was a full face of makeup
on my desk this entire time.
Aw, it's me and Ryan at a wedding.
I thought this was lost.
Well, this is like, two-thirds of a device,
that's supposed to keep my computer off my desk.
Oh, it's a sticker that says empowered women empower women.
This is a card that a fan sent us.
It's lived in my desk for forever,
and I probably shouldn't say this,
but if you send me something,
I basically can't throw it away.
It will live with me forever.
I might be buried with it,
if only cause no one else knows what to do
with all this shit.
We've gone through one container so far.
We've got this yellow BuzzFeed beanie.
For our holiday gift every year,
we get a different color beanie hat.
So I have five of these, because I am old.
Here's a shoe I was looking for.
I don't know where the other one is,
but I found one.
So the job is 50 percent finished.
Oh, I was looking for this lipstick!
Here's a bag that was full of props,
and now it's just been crushed under the weight of life.
Same.
This is a receipt for leggings I've already worn 50 times,
and I'm definitely not returning, 'cause they're awesome.
This is a scarf that's not mine.
It just kind of showed up one day.
Here's a Sephora receipt.
I don't know why I'm keep,
oh, maybe I do need that receipt.
No.
So, we get socks every year, also.
Guess where they're gonna live for the next 12 months!
In the graveyard of organization.
This pile on the floor is getting really scary.
Chantel is gonna roll up in about 20 minutes,
and she's gonna be mad.
Here's a romper I wore to the Streamys.
I actually didn't come here after the Streamys,
so I don't know how it ended up here.
I feel like this is just the Bermuda Triangle,
where all of my lost things go.
Here's the top to a foundation I don't have anymore.
Here is a package that used to have hair ties.
Ooh, a hair tie!
This might be the most useful thing on my entire desk.
The other shoe!
We found it.
Now it's gonna go back in the pile so we can lose it again.
Oh, you know what?
This actually isn't mine.
This is Devin's.
Everyone's always talking about how my stuff is everywhere,
but then I find stuff of Freddy and Devin's
all over my desk.
Or, at least all over 1/64th of my desk.
Here's like this little thing,
that Fred had on her desk forever,
and then one day, because she's mean,
she's literally just like,
"Here it belongs to you, now." and I was like,
"Do I look like I need more stuff on my desk?"
I feel like my desk is like the trash compactor,
for everything no one wants.
This is one of the three important things on my desk.
This is all of my SD cards
that contain all of my video files.
We'll put that in the pile where it belongs.
A package that used to contain some leggings.
These leggings are great, I do not need to package though.
Also, I took them off at home, why are they here?
Here's the Ziploc part of a Ziploc bag.
Oh, I know.
It's when we did Rihanna shoes.
I cut off the Ziploc part of a Ziploc bag, and here it is.
Here's another tank top.
How many of these tank tops do I own?
They're all sizes I can't wear.
I should just give them to people.
This is Devin's now.
This is Chantel's now.
Merry Christmas, you have silver tank tops.
Here's a reusable beauty pad, that I haven't washed.
That's gross.
Here is my desk organizer,
as you can see it contains two pens and a pair of scissors.
It keeps me organized.
Here's one sticky that says nothing.
Here's a shiny gold box.
I think this contained chocolates when I first got it.
It now contains paper and nothing.
That's the problem, if you make the garbage really pretty,
I'm never gonna get rid of it.
Yesterday we needed boxes, we didn't have them,
and I forgot all about this box.
So, next time I'll remember.
Here's a cap, to something.
Hey!
(triumphant music)
We solved a mystery!
That was lucky, to be honest.
Here's a couple of condoms.
There's actually a story behind this.
I did a project where I tried some custom clothes,
and I made a joke about how there was a little pocket
on the front of the skirt.
Like pockets on most women's clothes,
it holds, like, two condoms, and a couple of dreams.
And so, the PR company sent me a version of that skirt,
that had two condoms, and then a couple of written dreams.
Anyway, now I just have condoms on my desk,
and now I have to explain that every time
someone sees condoms on my desk.
Man, I've been looking for this tank top forever.
I actually thought it never came.
Turns out it was in this bag this whole time.
I cherish everything.
Everything.
Here's my hat for my Rockford Peaches Halloween costume
this year.
Here's a disco ball from when we did
that beauty roulette with bad lighting,
and we tried a little disco ball.
It did not work, so we had to get a big disco ball.
I never returned this to props,
so, sorry, props!
It's still here!
Eh, I might keep it forever!
This is an empty thing of foundation I need to get more of,
and this is an empty thing of lipstick
I also need to get more of.
Paper clips.
Uh-oh, Where do I do--
Deal with that later.
And here's a mouse pad.
For the mouse I don't have,
but you think that we're done?
There's more.
A pair of jeans?
I've never worn these jeans, the tags are still on.
This is a personality profile test I took,
like two years ago.
Apparently I'm very imaginative, and not very organized.
Here's a rice krispie treat from Disney World!
I think this actually is still good,
'cause it's only from September.
Some underwear.
I don't know why these are here.
It's the last third of the laptop hanging thing!
We found it!
Hey, Jen. I'm showing everyone my desk.
(laughs)
It's food.
All of my awards, my BuzzFeed awards.
I am the queen of figuring out
how to pee in a wedding dress.
Oh no, I don't know what to do.
And that's all of it, now on the floor.
So, here it is!
Ta-da!
So beautiful.
Wow, it's actually really nice to have a clean desk.
Maybe I should just keep it this way.
Maybe Chantel won't come in today.
Here's the thing, I'm impeccably organized
when it comes to my digital materials.
I am a planner, I am a thinker.
When it comes to physical things,
I am lost in the woods.
Let us know if you want me to have an actual desk makeover,
so that we can make sense of the pile
that's accumulated on the ground, here.
'Cause then we'll make that into a video!
I'll have order in my life.
It'll last for about 36 hours.
Also, let us know who else in Ladylike you'd like to see
take apart something in their lives.
Did you know Devin has a fish on her desk?
Nothing on my desk was at any point, living.
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