It can be very hard to change your emotions when
you don't know what they are.
Some people's emotions are right there on the surface,
and they always know how they feel about something,
while others have no idea what they're feeling
or experiencing, or may even feel numb,
like they have no feelings.
But your brain generates emotions,
whether you feel them or not,
and your actions and behaviors are guided by those emotions,
whether you're aware of the connection or not.
Today we're talking about how to identify
and name your emotions.
I'm Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist,
and I make mental health education videos.
This is the third video
in a series that I'm doing on emotion regulation.
How do you name and claim your emotions?
Here are five steps.
Step one is to engage in mindful observation.
When you experience a strong reaction to something,
pause and bring yourself into a state of mindfulness,
where you are actively observing your thoughts
and feelings, and your body sensations, without judgment.
Thinking about your thoughts is called metacognition,
and this is a very important step,
as it helps you not only be present in the moment,
but also to develop self-awareness.
You're not trying to analyze anything just yet.
All you're doing in step one is observing.
To do this, try a brief mindfulness exercise.
Sit comfortably, close your eyes and focus on your breath.
Observe your thoughts and feelings as they come and go
without trying to control or judge them.
If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.
Your breath is your anchor to help you focus.
Step two is to identify your thoughts and body sensations.
Pay attention to the thoughts as they pass
through your mind, and the sensations in your body.
Is your heart racing?
Do you feel a lump in your throat?
Are your thoughts negative, or are they positive?
If you have access to something to write with,
write down these thoughts and body sensations.
Step three is name the emotion.
While you are thinking about your thoughts
and body sensations, try to name the emotion
that you're feeling.
It could be happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise,
or disgust.
You might also be feeling more complex emotions,
like shame, guilt, relief, or anticipation.
A good way to practically do this
is to look at an emotions list or wheel, and then try to
match your observations to a specific emotion.
There are lots of emotions wheels on the internet,
and I have an emotions chart that you can download
from my website.
The link will be in the description of this video.
Regardless of which wheel or chart you use,
a good one should have a list of basic emotions, like happy,
sad, and angry, and then have more specific emotions
that are related to the basic ones.
For example, sad is pretty generic, but easily identifiable,
but other emotions in the sad category are lonely,
crestfallen, dejected, and I listed these emotions
in order of increased intensity.
The emotion wheels are usually structured that way,
with the basic emotions in the middle,
and then as you move outward,
the related emotions get more specific and intense.
You may not correctly identify your emotion each time,
but the more you do it,
the better you will get at identifying your emotions,
and increasing your emotional vocabulary.
Step four is to keep an emotion journal.
A journal is a great tool
to help you understand your emotions.
I mentioned earlier that sometimes,
identifying your emotions can help you understand triggers.
Sometimes it's not obvious why you have
this wave of strong emotion over you.
Let's go back to the sad example.
If I look at the chart, I see that a sad emotion
of moderate intensity is feeling pessimistic.
If I think about this more, I realize I feel pessimistic,
because I was recently reading a news article
about rising interest rates and global warming,
and I started to think
that I don't have much to look forward to.
With all these negative things happening,
I'm also starting to feel hopeless.
I better understand the cause and effect of why I feel sad,
or in this case, pessimistic and hopeless.
As an exercise, keep an emotion journal for a week.
Note any patterns that you see.
For example, you might notice
that you often feel anxious when you have a lot to do,
or that you feel happy when you take time for self-care.
Step five is respond to the emotions.
Once you've identified your emotions,
decide how you want to respond.
Some emotions need to be expressed.
Others might be signs that something
in your life needs to change,
and others still might just need to be acknowledged,
and allowed to pass.
As an exercise, the next time you notice a strong emotion,
try responding to it in a new way.
If you're angry, instead of yelling,
try taking deep breaths for a few cycles, in and out.
If you're sad, instead of isolating yourself,
reach out to a friend.
But remember, this process takes practice,
so be patient with yourself.
Don't worry if you can't always identify your emotions,
or if sometimes, you react in ways that you wish you hadn't.
You're learning and growing,
and sustained change takes time.
Stay tuned for more on emotion regulation skills-building.
Click one of these videos in the series
that you may have missed.
Thanks for watching.
See you next time.