What, is the game actually good?
Guys...
[laughs]
Look at that idiot!
Aw, cool, a hotdog.
I LOVE IT
Oh, such a happy thing. What could possibly go wrong?
Ohh!
That - psh!
Dang!
Oh, it's Nocturne.
Uh, looks like he's using his ult.
Aw, you guys are -
Sonic Generations is a celebration of all Sonic games so far.
But, uh, I mean...
You gotta kind of look at that.
Sega likes to put Sonic in a lot of shit.
And just sell it, because it's Sonic, like this.
And this.
And THIS.
AND THIS.
AND THIS!
AND THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS!
Don't forget this gem.
He's ridin' on the airplane. Look at this.
You guys ready?
Sonic the Fighters.
The fighting video game of Sonic.
From your bright-ass, pure white hub world,
you got - you go to the level, there's two acts.
The first act is old school, handles like the Genesis, uh...
Sidescrolling Sonic.
You know, all the moves that you've come to expect from the old games.
So, you can jump and spin.
That's about it.
And then he can spin jump.
Heh heh.
Heh heh!
And look - they got a little cute thing.
Oh!
And then you get your grade at the end for how good you did.
Oh, A, I'm a good guy.
Wow, and then---act 2, which is the stuff that came from Dreamcast; it feels like the good levels from Sonic Unleashed.
(you're supposed to collect those things but I didn't get it)
Uhh...you can go up here. It's kind of a hybrid, it's kinda sidescrolling and 3D.
But you got these new movesets from Sonic, he just dashes and all this other crap.
See that? Now it's sidescrolling.
See, now you gotta j-- duck under the thing, y'know?
It's very reminiscent of Sonic Unleashed, which came out... y'know, it had the good levels and then it had the parts where you were the werewolf.
Oh, look at this-- oh!
This guy's an asshole!
Aww, fish...
Stop it off(?)!
One thing I miss from Sonic Unleashed is how you would actually have to hit the right buttons.
You can just do whatever in this one, when you jump in the air...
Oh, S! That's what you're shooting for when you play.
Okay, and then once you beat that, you go up here...
And there's little challenge levels...
Oh, Sonic the Hedgehog? The first one?
Oh, let's play this. This is my favorite.
Sega made this?
Okay...
[gasp] I love this game!
We're playing this one. Forget it, we're changin' it.
It's uh, we're playing this one now.
Alright, go up here...
Ooh-- ooh-- watch out!
[coughs] No!
Okay, okay, okay...
Heh, okay...
Heh, you don't wanna go into the finish thing, you gotta get the Chaos Emerald...
No, n-n-n-n-no...
N-- No, no! N-no, nononono-- N-- NO, NO, no...
N-- NO, NOOO--
Payin' tribute to all sorts of Sonic. Sonic 1, Sonic the Hedgehog 2...
Sonic and Knuckles over here...
Uhh, Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Heroes...
...just keep walkin'...
Sonic Unleashed...
Most of these mini-stages on top are pretty fun, except... this one is pretty gay. With Knuckles.
Yeah, th-- th... ugh.
I assure you, if this looks like any fun at all, it is a complete trick.
Because this is SO stupid.
Knuckles, you have to go around, dig for coins with Knuckles...
Look at this. Okay, Knuckles, go down!
If you're off by like a centimeter, he'll dig like, right next to it and not find any coins.
Okay, there you go, yeah, it's so fun.
Thanks Knuckles, for your great coins with a picture of you on 'em. I'm sure I can use these at any Toys-R-Us.
Okay, I got all the coins, I got--
You see, I only got 2 minutes and 40 seconds to finish it, I gotta get up there quick, I gotta finish it and get the-- and--
[sigh]
[angrily] I'm .7 seconds behind.
Got your old school bosses...
Dr. Robotnik's back in the mix with his Egg Robot Man...
Augh!
Dammit...
Oh wow, Sandy's in this game.
Oh wow, BassPro's in this game.
Hey, did you guys forget this song?
Well, it's gonna-- you're gonna hear it 500 more times in this one now.
Dude, this game is for little kids with this gay ass music--
WHAT THE HELL
THERE'S A BIG-ASS TRUCK RUNNING ME DOWN
GO!
GO SONIC GO-- OH SHIT CHAINSAWS WHAT AAAAUGH
For a video game master like me, you rarely ever die, because this game is for little two year olds...
...um...
But sometimes it likes to cheat, and I'll accidentally fall off the ledge, or get hit...
...I get hit again...
...hit again...
What do you gotta do to get a bad score in this game?
I got killed like 50 times.
This one is pretty intense. You can't get hit once, you gotta go fast as hell, man, I'm all about this.
W-- Jump! Okay-- jump, jump, ooh! Ooh, ooh--
N-no, you gotta duck under the axe, jump...
Hit the speed button, under the thing, under the thing...
Jump, hit the balloons, through this hoop!
And go [????] side to side...
Through the barrels, go-go-go-go-go!
You can't hit these, go-go-go- [heavy breathing]
[loud sigh of relief]
Whoever made this spike thing is pretty, um...
This thing sucks.
Y-- bouncin' around, it sucks.
I hate spikes.
Best Sonic game in a long time.
I'm gonna have to give it a hippopotamus out of 14 points.
Ahaha! What an asshole!
That's what you get for having a stupid stage.
Look what the old Sonic learned from the new one!
Ahahaha! What an asshole!
Well, it's time for us to part ways...
See you later, old Sonic and classic Tails...
Bye-bye...