[MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
- 20.
20.
[ENGINE REVVING]
- OOH. - ARE YOU OKAY?
- WHOA, EVERYTHING WENT BRIGHT AS [BLEEP].
- DUDE, DUDE. - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT HAPPENED? - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU OKAY? - WHOA.
- IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE GETS HURT.
AND THEN IT'S GOOD TELEVISION.
LEGALLY, I'M OBLIGATED TO SAY
DON'T TRY JUMPING OVER A SLOW-MOVING CAR.
YOU GOT TO TRY IT WHEN THE CAR'S GOING SUPER FAST.
THAT WAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY IN THE AIR VERY LONG.
THAT HUMAN ROADKILL GOES BY SHANE,
AND IT'S HARD TO CLASSIFY WHAT HE DOES.
HE'S NOT A PROFESSIONAL STUNTMAN.
HE'S NOT AN ATHLETE.
HE'S JUST YOUNG, DUMB, AND FULL OF [BLEEP].
WHOSE [BLEEP]?
WELL, THAT'S SHANE'S BUSINESS, ISN'T IT?
WOMEN DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY GUYS DO STUPID THINGS THAT INJURE THEMSELVES,
BUT IT'S NO DIFFERENT THAN WHEN YOU GALS GET TOGETHER
TO HURT EACH OTHER'S FEELINGS.
DARES WORK BECAUSE THE LONG-TERM EFFECTS
OF HEAD TRAUMA ARE MINOR
COMPARED TO THE PAIN OF BEING CALLED A PUSSY.
I REFUSE ALL DARES UNLESS IT'S MARC SUMMERS
DOUBLE DARING ME TO DIG THROUGH A GIANT NOSE
FILLED FULL OF FAKE BOOGERS TO FIND A LITTLE ORANGE FLAG.
AMATEUR STUNTS ARE LIKE AMATEUR PORN,
EXCITING BECAUSE NOBODY'S WEARING PROTECTION.
THAT'S WHY I FLEW SHANE TO HOLLYWOOD,
WHERE BOYS WILL BE BOYS, UNLESS THEY IDENTIFY OTHERWISE--
I DON'T JUDGE-- FOR THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.
[THUDDING]
YOU EVER RUN OVER A PARKED LIMOUSINE?
- NO. - YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
I JUST DON'T GET THAT RUNNER'S HIGH RUNNING OVER A COMPACT.
SHANE? - YEAH.
- TELL ME ABOUT THE AFTERLIFE.
- THE AFTERLIFE. - DID YOU DIE?
- I'M NOT SURE.
- YOU DID--DEFINITELY SAID EVERYTHING WENT BRIGHT.
- WHOA, EVERYTHING WENT BRIGHT AS [BLEEP].
- DUDE, DUDE. - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT WAS? - I DON'T KNOW.
IT KIND OF FELT LIKE A FLASH BANG GOING OFF.
IT WAS--IT WAS PRETTY INTENSE.
- DID YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL?
- YES, RIGHT AFTERWARDS, ACTUALLY.
- AND WHAT DID THEY SAY WAS WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- NOT EVEN A CONCUSSION? - NOPE, NONE OF THAT.
- THOSE AREN'T GOOD DOCTORS.
YOU SUCCESSFULLY JUMPED OVER A--
BY THE WAY, WHY ARE YOU CALLING IT JUMPING OVER A CAR?
YOU'RE RUNNING OVER A CAR.
- I'M NOT SURE.
- YOU GOT TO RENAME YOUR STUNT.
- THAT'S SPLITTING HAIRS.
- WELL, I MEAN, YOU'RE CLEARLY RUNNING OVER IT.
YOU SUCCESSFULLY RAN OVER IT AT 10 MILES AN HOUR,
AND AT 20, THINGS WENT WRONG.
DID YOU EVER CONSIDER TRYING IT AT 15?
- NOPE, JUST FIGURED WE'D DOUBLE IT.
- SO IF YOU WOULD HAVE SUCCESSFULLY MADE 20,
YOU WOULD HAVE TRIED 40,
THEN 80, THEN 160,
AND THEN BROKEN THE RECORD AT A WHOPPING--
WHAT'S 160 TIMES 2?
LET'S THINK ABOUT THAT.
SO YOU GOT 160 TIMES 2.
UH...
SO WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?
WHAT ARE--YOU GUYS ARE A STUNT GROUP?
- MM-HMM, YEAH. - HOW MANY MEMBERS?
- I DON'T KNOW; THERE'S BEEN SOME THAT COME AND GO, BUT--
- YOU'VE LOST A FEW.
- YES.
- DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN A LOT OF THEM OR NO?
- SOME OF 'EM, YEAH, BUT I'M USUALLY THE ONE
HELPING AND FILMING.
- THAT'S THE SMARTER GIG.
- WHAT'S THE WORST PAIN YOU'VE EVER EXPERIENCED?
- I'M NOT SURE. THAT IS A TOUGH QUESTION THERE.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HURT TOO BAD.
- APPARENTLY NOT.
- NOT TOO BAD.
- KNOCK ON WOOD, THEN.
- YEAH, RIGHT? - THAT'S NOT WOOD.
YOUR VIDEOS ARE CALLED:
BUT THEN YOU'RE CALLED P.O.R.
WHICH IS IT? - P.O.R.
BUT WE ARE THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS STUNT GROUP.
- AND P.O.R. STANDS FOR?
- PROPHETS OF REGRET.
- WHO CAME UP WITH THAT? - I DO BELIEVE JJ.
- WHICH ONE'S HE? - THE LEADER.
- OH! - DAMN.
- DO YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT HE SAYS?
- NO, NOT NECESSARILY. - OKAY.
CAN PEOPLE BUY THAT P.O.R. SHIRT?
- YEAH, ALL OVER THE WORLD.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "BUY IT ALL OVER THE WORLD"?
YOU MEAN GO ON YOUR WEBSITE AND BUY IT?
- YEAH. - HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?
- I'M NOT SURE. - [LAUGHS]
- HOW'D YOU GET INTO P.O.R.?
WERE YOU SEXED IN OR STUNTED IN?
- [LAUGHS]
I WAS STUNTED IN.
- CAN ANYBODY BECOME A MEMBER?
- DEPENDS ON WHAT THEY'RE WILLING TO DO?
- SO YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO PROVE.
- I DO BELIEVE. - ANY WOMEN?
- NO. - IS THERE A BAN ON WOMEN?
- NO, IT'S JUST, I DON'T THINK ANY OF 'EM
REALLY WANT TO DO THIS [BLEEP].
- SOME OF YOUR VIDEOS HAVE BEEN ON OUR SHOW BEFORE,
HAVEN'T THEY?
THE ONE WITH THE--
A THE BOWLING BALL DOWN THE SLIDE.
- YEP, THAT WAS ONE OF 'EM, AND--
- WELL, I THINK I COULD SUE YOU GUYS,
'CAUSE I TRIED TO COPY THAT.
- YEAH?
- I DID IT OFF A WATERPARK SLIDE.
AND IT BRUISED ME SO BAD FOR, LIKE, A MONTH,
I REALLY COULDN'T USE.
IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE TO THE TOUCH.
- WOW.
- I THOUGHT I HAD CHEATED IT ENOUGH
BY USING A BALL THAT BARELY WEIGHED,
LIKE, 5 POUNDS, BUT IT STILL WAS WAY TOO MUCH.
- YEAH, IT GETS THAT MOMENTUM.
- YEAH, THAT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA.
THAT WAS THE DUMBEST THING I'VE DONE ON THIS SHOW.
YOU HAVE ANY OTHER WEIRD, DANGEROUS HOBBIES?
- I DON'T KNOW. I MESS WITH ELECTRICITY.
THAT'S FUN.
- WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ELECTRICITY?
- I'M AN ELECTRICIAN. - OH.
[LAUGHS] THAT'S--THAT'S GOOD, THEN.
- YEAH. - YOU WANT TO BASE JUMP?
- THAT'D BE COOL.
- ALL THOSE PEOPLE DIE EVENTUALLY.
- WINGSUITS. - YOU WANT TO TRY A WINGSUIT?
- OH, YEAH, BUT YOU GOT TO TRAIN FOR, LIKE, TWO YEARS
BEFORE YOU DO IT, THOUGH.
- WHO'S GOT THAT KIND OF TIME?
JUMPING OVER CARS IS PLAYED OUT.
EVEN KOBE BRYANT IN HIS PRIME
COULDN'T JUMP OVER A CAR WITHOUT FAKING IT,
AND HE'S BEEN ACCUSED OF RAPE.
- ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU GOT IN MIND?
- SHANE, NOW YOU LOOK LIKE A PROFESSIONAL STUNTMAN.
SORRY WE WOULD ONLY AFFORD ONE HELMET.
OKAY, HERE'S THE PLAN.
WE'RE GONNA LOCK YOU UP TIGHT.
I'M GONNA GUN IT,
HOPEFULLY GET THIS P.O.S. UP TO 20 TO 100 MILES PER HOUR.
THEN I'M GONNA SLAM ON THE BRAKES.
IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT,
PHYSICS AND YOUR NATURAL INSTINCT TO SURVIVE
WILL SKIP YOU ACROSS THE POND SAFELY TO THE OTHER SIDE,
WHERE I HAVE A CHILLED BOTTLE OF MARTINELLI'S SPARKLING CIDER
WAITING FOR YOU.
OKAY, NOW, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU WERE
OR IF YOU HAD A PROBLEM,
SO I PLAYED IT SAFE WITH THE CIDER.
IT'S THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS STUNT.
I CALL IT THE BRAKE N' LAKE.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
[FUNKY MUSIC]
♪ ♪
- YOU READY, SHANE?
- I'M GOOD.
♪ ♪
- AMERICA!
♪ ♪
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[TIRES SCREECH]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪ ♪
SHANE! SHANE!
[FLARE POPS AND WHOOSHES]
[FLARE BANGS]
HELP IS ON THE WAY, BUDDY.
- WHOO! DID I MAKE IT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- IF HE HADN'T LIED ABOUT HIS WEIGHT,
HE WOULD HAVE MADE IT ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE LAKE.
OH, WELL. MORE MARTINELLI'S FOR ME.