Are you having potty problems for your child or clients?
Do you not know when to start or restart trying potty training?
Are your child or clients refusing to sit on the toilet or are they peeing on the toilet,
but not pooping on the toilet or you may be missing or looking for signs of constipation,
which is messing with the whole potty process. Today we're tackling all of these potty problems.
Hi, I’m Dr. Mary Barbera, autism mom, behavior analyst, and bestselling author.
I want to present to you each week, um, in some way, some information that might help you,
not only with children with autism, but also toddlers who are showing any kind of
signs of autism or delay. Many times, these young children who are delayed, who are not diagnosed,
actually do have potty problems too. I consider myself as a registered nurse
and a behavior analyst and a mom to be a potty training expert. And so I went to, um,
another expert, uh, an internationally recognized researcher in the field of potty training,
Dr. Steve Hodges and we talked all about potty problems for, for all kids.
So I was able to then, you know, really ask some questions about kids, specifically with autism or
toddlers showing signs of autism. So today I want to present this short clip with me
asking Dr. Steve Hodges and talking with him about when to start potty training, um, signs to look
for with constipation and what to do if your child will pee on the potty, but not poop on the potty.
So let's get to this excerpt. So in the babies, if they're otherwise completely
healthy, no other issues and they're on breast milk, talk to your pediatrician,
if they think it's okay and you're happy with that, then it's fine to kind of slow roll it.
But if you're having a child that is straining to poop, having large bowel movements, um, definitely
having difficulty like pooping is in their brain. You know, it's a stressful situation for them.
Hiding to poop is a big one. People think they're just hiding cause they're shy, it’s a sign of
constipation. Then I would definitely talk to your pediatrician about getting a treatment for that.
And I think, you know, most kids go through a phase like that, if you, if you think back to it
and just keep track of, be involved, you're involved in your kids' diet and their
exercise and all that. Be involved, in their toilet habits as well. And take a look and see.
I know it sounds weird, but it's really important. If they're putting out,
the most common sign we hear from parents that we know to be constipation, that the parents
just mention in passing is, oh, he has the biggest bowel movements, they’re just huge. You know,
so that's a, that's a bad sign. And I, and, and I know I say I don't want to treat things
unless the child is having problems. And I, I definitely believe that, but if you have a child
that's severely constipated, um, they may develop issues, right? So you don't want to completely
be out to lunch if they're, if they're, if they're having some signs,
just because they're happy and healthy, um, you want to keep an eye, tabs on things because they
could, um, develop some issues later on. And I don't think it's healthy to have a
hugely dilated full colon period, um, uh, just for adulthood and so forth. So, um,
I think awareness is the key. You know, we can figure out the details by talking to your
pediatrician, but if you have a child that's having trouble pooping, they don't have to and
if they're having other accidents or other issues, we can definitely fix this.
And in your books, you, you do say that, um, potty training or really heavily focusing on potty
too young, um, can also be a critical junction point for kids to withhold and get constipated.
Exactly. You know, got a little sideways with a lot of the elimination communication people just
because they really promote, and I, and I'm not for pollution like diapers, I know create, um,
fill up the landfills, but I think it's definitely unhealthy to train too early and you have to look
at what are we doing? You know, people that try to get out of diapers too soon, are probably just
training themselves to respond to the child's, um, urges and signs. The potty training, and this was
from Dr. Regan, a quote, he told me, I think this is 100% accurate. It's a physiological process.
Like walking or sleeping or, or, you know, being hungry and eating. You can't force any of this,
right? You can't make your child sleep. You can put them in the right environment.
You can't make them crawl or walk any faster than they were going to.
And you can't make a child potty training any faster than they were going to.
Um, although it can be delayed if they're constipated because they lose control. So I've,
I have not seen a child younger than three that’s really ready. And I haven't seen many kids older
than four that shouldn't be ready. So for me, between the age of three and four, if they're
developing normally and have no other conditions, obviously, then that's a good age to potty train.
Yeah. And I do want to make a caveat there because most of the kids that the listeners are, are,
you know, either their, their, own child or their clients, they are developmentally delayed and that
adds a whole nother twist to it. And so from a behavioral point of view, um, I am all about
pairing up the potty early, like at two, just to make it part of the, you know, oh, we sit on the
potty, we don't even have to go. We just sit on the potty in the morning and maybe before bath
and we watch their older brother and I'm also a huge proponent on boys should sit on the potty
until they're fully bowel trained because I hear it all the time, you know, an older boy, uh, is
pee trained, but not poop trained and almost always I'm like, are they sitting on the toilet
to pee? And they say, no, um, and so, you know, in one of your books, you talk about like scheduled
sits right after breakfast or right after dinner, when you are, um, more likely to poop or first
thing in the morning, um, physiologically you're more likely to poop, but, um, I, I do think that
for kids with autism waiting too long to introduce a potty as this is where we sit
just to relax is also a problem because then, um, they might be super resistant on top of it.
That's an excellent point. You know, my, there's no harm in introducing things. You don't want to
pressure them to hold it in, that's the thing. Number two, the one downside of delayed potty
training or later potty training is that some kids just get too comfortable pooping in pull-ups
and toilet avoidance for pooping is super common. Um, so typically the kids will pee on the potty
and then they won't poop. Although, you know, the story of the child that will just be completely
dry, but come home and ask for a diaper to poop in, or pull up is, is, is, is so common I've seen.
And there's there's protocols set up to treat that issue. And how do you treat that issue?
There are two ways to treat, uh, toilet avoidance. One is with the, this, um, it's in the book called
The Ins and Outs of Poop, it’s kind of this graduated just kind of movement towards the
potty. I actually have that book right here, I have my whole, uh, potty training collection.
It's a great, I've given to a lot of families, it works well,
basically you say, okay, you can poop in the pull up, but you have to poop in the bathroom.
Okay. You can poop in the pull up, but you have to poop on the toilet, that kind of thing.
And I love the story that has the girl that will poop on the toilet, but she has to put the diaper
on first cause they had cut a hole in the diaper and she hadn't pooped anywhere near the diaper
in so long, they just kept the orig same one. So it was like a belt. She was like much older,
but she needed that. And so it just shows you how much thought people put into this kind of thing.
Yeah. And I have like, where, you know, you can have the diaper, but you have to sit in
the bathroom and that gradual fading of the diaper, um, does tend to work.
However, I will also say, especially after reading your new information, is that the child's probably
constipated. If they're able to hold it all day and ask for a diaper and they’re not going on
time, right. And, you know, they're, they probably could also benefit from laxatives and enemas.
I hope you enjoyed that short excerpt from Dr. Steve Hodges. If you liked it,
I would really encourage you to watch the whole video podcast at marybarbera.com/158. It's full of
really great information, including Dr. Steve Hodges website, and so many other resources.
If you are having trouble with potty training, it's now's the time to tackle it.
If you enjoyed this video, I'd love it if you'd leave a comment, give a thumbs up,
share it with somebody who might benefit. And for more information, I would love for you to attend
a free workshop, to see if joining my online course and community is the right fit for you.
Go to marybarbera.com/workshop, and I hope to see you there.