- Which one do you want to go to?
Hey, who's your parent?
She don't know who her parents are.
(laughing)
- I'm Vanessa.
- And I am Talbot.
- And I'm a twin to this person.
- Man-child
- My name is Ellen Acuario. I got a two-year-old,
and a six-year-old, and they're both assholes.
- I am a teacher and I teach Early Childhood Music
and Movement classes.
- (both) No
- I hear a baby, and I don't like babies.
They're, literally, parasites.
Oh, God!
- Oh my God! I'm so good for this.
- Are there any twins?
If they're identical, tell me when they'll--
Okay, I don't want to drop babies.
- Here, let's do some baby warm-ups.
(crying babies)
- Hi, how are you?
Hi little babies, oh they're babies everywhere.
- Yeah.
- Hi!
- They're all pretty adorable.
That's for sure.
- Okay, I can move around?
(keys drop)
Hi, precious.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi!
This is much harder than you would think.
(laughing)
- That ain't your baby.
- Should I start moving babies?
Okay! I'm taking you, hi!
- He sure belongs to me.
- I don't think so!
I'm giving you to him!
So, for you two it was the eye color.
- He wants to go this way, one hand under his butt
and, there you go.
- Hello!
- Hi, buddy!
- I'm holding a baby, it's not fantastic.
- Hi baby!
Hi Everly, hi you!
Oh my God, you're so freaking cute.
I just want to eat you.
- Bounce him up and down.
Hi. How are you?
- Can I give this baby to anyone?
Here, here is your new baby.
- Hey, who's your parent?
Are you adopted?
I was adopted.
- Is that someone you know?
Your eyes speak to me,
I think you're the daddy!
- Which one do you want to go to?
She don't know who her parents are.
(laughter)
I'm gonna say this is her baby.
- I think his baby might be her baby.
- There you go!
- Really good.
- I'm sorry baby.
- Come on, Fox, y'all really trusting
of y'all baby.
(laughter)
- Why you looking at me like that, Fox?
- Oh, hi crying baby, oh.
Where's your momma?
That's your momma!
Oh, I got it.
Oh, my God! Money, money, money!
Yeah baby!
- Is that your mom, or is that your dad?
Which one?
One of this white folks do you belong to?
Is this daddy?
Fox!
I think this is your momma.
- Let me go down here.
I think you're going to go here.
But, yeah, I can't tell if that's
your mom or if you just like to run.
- Can you talk yet or no?
Come here!
Who's your momma?
(laughing)
I'll take her back.
- I think this baby.
You get this baby.
The baby seems more calmed in his grasp
than did in my grasp.
- Are these twins?
They look kind of similar.
I think they're twins.
Not because she's Asian, yes because she's Asian.
Those are twin babies, you just don't have a baby.
- Look at that!
It's a quiet, I'm magic!
- Moment of truth.
Oh hey, I was pretty close!
- Yay!
- Whoo!
- We got two right.
- (Screaming) Thank you, thank you, I know!
- Half.
- Half?
- Which one is yours?
That one?
- Favorite baby?
I just got to go for the fat baby!
(laughing)
Oh yeah, I love that baby!
Hi, baby!
- She's so cute!
I have to say, you have the cutest baby.
Sorry, guys!
- So nice.
- Oh my gosh.
- Were you offended when I thought that was her baby?
- No.
- Do you get that a lot or not really?
- Yeah (laughing).
Everyone's like - she's just so different skin-toned.
- She is!
Is your partner darker or did she just came out?
- Yeah
(laughing)
- No.
I mean, not everybody looks like their parents.
- I did not base off of race.
They babies did look like twins -ish.
- Ish
- I have baby fever.
Apparently, when you see a cute baby,
your brain goes into overload and you just want
to eat them.
- Babies are
- Hard.
- Loud and hard.
We won't be having them, hopefully,
for a very long time.
- Have a newfound respect for parents.
Yes.
- Yes, have more respect for our parents
because they
- Deal with two.
- I'm going to hug them and say thank you
because you nurtured us past
- The stage.
(applause)
- Oki doki.
How y'all had me judging these babies?