-And, yo [bleep] your mask! [coughing]
[Bleep] -And I got corona! Ahhhh!
[coughs] -[bleep] your thing.
-Oh! Oh! -What you gonna do?!
-With mask and vaccine mandates
in place across the United States,
videos of public outbursts
have become commonplace on social media.
Some are silly.
And some are pretty serious.
But they all share a similar psychological makeup.
-Well, I call them temper tantrums
because I wanted to distinguish that from just being angry.
When an adult is angry, you can speak to somebody.
You can tell them what's bothering you.
But when you're having a tantrum,
it's like a child who doesn't have the words
to express what they're feeling.
-Oh! -Come on.
-How dare you? -Be civil!
-And I'm tempted, when I first see them,
to just think, like, it's a personality issue,
like, "Wow, that is a really difficult person."
At the same time, we've learned
from decades of research in psychology
that we really tend to overestimate
the role of the individual
and to downplay the role of context
when we're trying to understand others' behavior.
-The coronavirus pandemic has been incredibly disruptive,
leaving many of us experiencing a loss of control
in our once-ordinary lives.
-And that feeling of powerlessness often triggers
the reverse in us,
this kind of extreme effort to exert power and control.
And it can show up in ways,
like really trying to force others
to bend to our will, no matter what the cost.
-[Chanting] No more masks!
No more masks! No more masks!
-The US's increasing political divisiveness
adds fuel to this fire.
as people on the other side of the debate
turn from neighbors to adversaries.
-It activates our tribal mentality,
that sense of us versus them.
And once that gets activated, then it's really easy
to kind of see the people on the other side --
or who we assume are on "the other side" --
as less than human.
-[shouts indistinctly]
You aren't even human! You are only animal!
-And when they regress,
they're no longer talking to
a waiter or a waitress or a hostess or a steward.
They're talking to somebody who represents something else.
-Dealing with these situations can be challenging.
But there are some tactics that can help de-escalate
if you ever find yourself involved.
-So, in general, it's gonna be helpful
to present ourselves as non-threatening as possible.
So, you know, not, you know,
leaning in toward the person, not looming over them,
giving them their space.
-Be as deferential as you possibly can.
Lower your voice.
You speak very slowly.
You look the person in the eye.
-Sir! Sir!
Sir, please! Sir!
-And if the situation seems too much to handle,
it's often best to get assistance.
-If you can identify the trigger early,
as soon as the person is giving you an argument
about something that's perfectly reasonable,
like you have to wear a mask on an airplane,
that's it, you know?
It seems to me that should be enough of a message
for that steward to withdraw, go to the front of the plane,
tell the captain or whoever's in charge.
-You have to comply.
You agreed to this when you checked in to our flight
and you bought your ticket,
so I need you to come off the aircraft at this time.
-Reaching out to the police is an option, as well,
especially if you fear for your own safety.
But police involvement does run the risk
of escalating the situation.
-Well, then you have to abide by the rules,
and you have to have a mask on.
-This is a state... -It's not.
-Do not touch me. Who do you think you are?
-[speaking indistinctly] -Oh, back up!
That's an old lady that's getting handcuffed here.
-When police get involved,
it's not a de-escalating response.
Things can get further out of hand.
I always like to decide in advance who I want to be
before I go into a situation
that could be fraught with these kind of risks.
So, you know, maybe we can ask ourselves, like,
"When I go out today, do I want to make the world
a place that's a little better or a little worse?"
Because once we're in the heat of the battle
and that ego and anger get activated,
it's really hard to slow things down.
-[coughing]
-What the [bleep] Why would you [bleep]
-That's right.