The cat wants to come in... she's knocking on the door.
Can I open the door for the cat?
Sorry, what was that question again?
(What are you grateful for now in your life?)
What am I not grateful for?
I'm grateful for everything in my life.
There's nothing that I'm not grateful for.
It's an incredible thing to be a human being.
To have this form... it really is a blessing.
I was a very happy child.
All the pictures of me as a child, I was always smiling.
I seemed to be very happy.
I mean...
I was happy to be here on earth.
I was happy to be in nature.
I was happy to be in the sea.
I was happy to be in the mountains as a young child.
But I also had this other side.
There were a lot of things in my childhood that weren't right...
that hurt.
My trauma from my childhood wasn't from my own family.
A lot of trauma from my childhood actually came from school
and my headmaster at school
who was sexually molesting young boys.
I didn't make sense of it.
I thought this was normal punishment.
There was something about it that was wrong.
But I didn't realise what it was until I was about 18 years old.
We pick up this heavy load of all our burdens
and we carry that.
And everything we do is coloured in this heaviness.
I know, I sat with suicidal thoughts.
Nobody would miss me if I left this world right now.
I'm that worthless and I'm that useless.
It would be better off for me to leave this planet.
Sometimes we really have to hit rock bottom before we turn around.
Something had to change. I couldn't stay like this.
I wasn't going to live the rest of my life like this.
It's not something outside of me that needs to change.
I need to change. I need to heal this.
Making the decision that this is not my path.
My path is towards happiness.
My path is towards a good life.
My path is towards finding peace
within myself.
And then just do it... just do it.
We all have these childhood experiences that set the tone for life.
There must be a deeper meaning to this life.
And what's the point of these experiences?
They're there to let us know that something is wrong...
we're not on our correct path...
we've gone off track.
A lot of people don't ever embrace that.
They walk around with their wound
and carry it as if that's the person that they are.
But not realising it's just a wound that they're carrying.
It's not something that they are.
So they never even ask if there is a way out...
never asked themselves that question.
I'm definitely not defined by my childhood experiences.
They defined some of my behaviours and some of my attitudes.
But not me, not my soul.
I will not let those things define me
and form me and shape me,
in a negative way.
The essence of me...
it's about being kind, about giving and sharing.
My experiences...
they've taught me things.
They've set me free.
Everything that happens to us can become a blessing.
When we're in the trauma and we're in the hurt
then it's the worst thing in the world.
But once you've worked through it,
it becomes something that empowers us.
It becomes something that is a guide and a teacher.
So I'm grateful for all of it.
I can't say that I know what challenges are still going to come.
But I know that I'll face those challenges
with very different mind and heart
to how I was just 10 or 15 years ago.
I know what I have become.
I know what I am.
I know what I've experienced.
And it's a wonderful place to be.
It allows the mind to stay open.
It allows for all sorts of doors to still swing open for me.
We're all coming to know who we really are
beyond the stories that we carry around from our childhood.
Each person has their own wounds and their own stories
that is unique.
So each person has their own unique way out of it too.
'Old dogs can't learn new tricks' - that's nonsense.
We definitely can.
We just need to let go of the wounds, that's all.
When you're ready. When it's your time.
And then it becomes our journey.
It becomes our gift.
If we remember our childhood, what we were really like...
we have this joy for life.
We don't fight with the world, we just roll with the punches.
I did a lot of work to heal that little boy.
And to make sure that boy doesn't leave.
That he's still here, and notices this world with awe, every day.
So that I can walk out into the garden
and see a flower that I've seen hundreds of times,
and still wonder at it and still see its beauty.
And that's part of holding onto that child
who sees the world with wonder, every day.
Make sure that that little child sticks around.
Temper it with a little bit of wisdom,
and a little bit of manness.
But it's got to be a part of me.
It has to stick around.
Human beings are really beautiful
when we get past all of our stuff.
What really catches me is people's beauty...
acts of kindness,
somebody going out of their way
and just doing something for somebody else.
That is for me, just so beautiful.
It's not so much about the actual
love that emanates out of ones heart.
But that one's foundation and way of moving through the world
is based on a lovingness towards life
and towards the world.
You're here to help bring peace.
You're here to bring a bit of love to this world,
a bit of joy, a bit of happiness.
You're here to help heal.
So that is my purpose.
If I can just bring a little bit of peace...
if I can help one person...
if I can uplift that encounter...
if I can make that person, when I walk away,
feel better about themselves and about their day...
then I'm following my purpose.
We really are these creatures of love.
You're here to make this world beautiful.
That for me is the real beauty of this world...
the presence of being.