The Jeffrey Dahmer Special Series “Dahmer — Monster:
The Jeffrey Dahmer Story” has proven, like most true crime, quite popular on Netflix.
Apparently it even beat the viewership record of Netflix’s other massive hit, Squid Game. So,
knowing us… You already know what we had to do.
What if instead of targeting people in need, Il Nam committed to the Jigsaw act and took some
of history’s greatest monsters and put them through the Squid Games. So today,
Dahmer’s going up against 23 other Historical Evil People… to see who ends up the winner.
I’m Kyle with WickedBinge and this is Would Jeffrey Dahmer Win Squid Game?
Before we get to our contestants for today,
we’ll first preface by saying: These are all terrible people, who did terrible things.
So, today’s contestants are: Jeffrey Dahmer, followed by Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy the
Killer Clown, Charles Manson the cult leader, Ed Kemper the Co-ed Killer, The Zodiac Killer,
Aileen Wuornos, Ted Kaczinsky the Unibomber, Jack The Ripper, Dennis Rader the BTK Killer,
Jim Jones, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Heinrich Himmler, Kim Jong Un,
Saddam Hussein, Mao Zedong, Vlad The Impaler, Ivan The Terrible, Idi Amin,
Julius Ceaser, Ghengis Kahn, Ed Gein the Plainfield Butcher and H.H. Holmes.
The first “game” we’ll be talking about is the iconic stop and go game known as Red Light,
Green Light, what you’ll need is a level head and good listening skills.
One must remember most of these players would likely be desensitized enough to
blood and gore not to panic. This is especially true for Dahmer who
is well known for his calm and collected nature..
The first to go in this game is Hitler. Now, we’ll make this brief, because Hitler would be a massive
threat if he gets far into the game, however, we find that highly unlikely. He was the Fascist
leader of one of the most evil and monstrous organizations that sparked World War 2. Committing
atrocities on a massive scale, and spewing hatred and vitriol at the core of his ideology.
But here’s the thing. Hitler had an issue with authority and those in
power (if they weren’t him, of course)... and he’d
likely be the first one to defy the rules or instructions. Earning him the first death.
The next to fall in this game is Aileen Wuornos. Wuornos was a killer and lady of the night in
Florida during the late 80s who murdered multiple clients of hers during her spree.
Whilst on trial it was found that she scored above the threshold to be referred to as a psychopath
and her actions were notoriously reckless and impulsive… which wouldn’t help her in this game.
Similarly, Kim Jong Un is the next to fall. Kim is the dictator of North Korea,
and we could go into his psychology here, but really, it’s irrelevant…
Just imagine this guy playing any game that requires agility. He’s going to lose.
The final monster to fall during this game is Ivan the Terrible. Ivan was
the first tsar of all of russia and the first in a long line to leadership of
that territory. He believed himself to be sent by god, and he is by far one of the
least level-headed people on our list. He was seen as, pretty much, insane.
With a steady hand and a
lot of patience it’s a formality to survive the second game, that being The Honeycomb Challenge.
Patience and a steady hand are very necessary for a lot of things, but while
a lot of these monsters have this, three really come to mind. Obviously,
Dahmer was mostly a very patient individual who would easily survive
this challenge. His experiments did require a certain level of dexterity.
John Wayne Gacy is another monster who would survive this game because
near the end of his life he made many paintings.
The other one we’ll make note of is Ted Kaczinsky who was patient and
steady-handed enough to make his own bombs - and not just a couple, but a lot of them.
The first to go during this game is Dennis Rader. Rader is known as the
BTK killer and he was not the most patient man,
sometimes relying more on improvised weapons and situations than deep planning.
Maybe a surprise, but the next to go is Joseph Stalin. Stalin was the Communist
leader of the Soviet Union. He barely survived the previous game because whilst
he hated authority and wasn’t the most level-headed man in the world… he knew
what he needed to so he could survive. However, Stalin’s left hand and arm were
extremely withered due to what we assume to be a carriage incident. This caused
a lot of problems for him and would make it highly unlikely that he would pass this game.
The final monster we’ll be chatting about is Chinese dictator Mao. Mao led China from
the late 40s to the 70s, where he started what was essentially a cult of personality. However,
Mao was impatient and that really stops him from going much further in this game.
Whether you survive by fighting, hiding or having strong allies,
The Midnight Brawl is the next game we’ll be seeing.
There are three major ways to survive this game, those being the ability to fight and
beat others to death, being able to hide from the others or using your intelligence
to befriend or outsmart your opponents. Of course, Dahmer was known to be very evasive,
able to hide for nearly 15 years whilst committing his crimes. Similarly, The Zodiac Killer and Jack
the Ripper were heavily intelligent and highly evasive, never being found after their crimes.
The first to go during this game is Ted Kaczinsky. Now, yes, Kaczinsky, better known
as the Unabomber, was able to make his own bombs thanks to having an IQ some say was in the 150s,
there’s one major issue. Kaczinsky was a major weirdo and social outlier. There is
no way in hell he would have any allies at this point - and would likely be beaten to death.
The next to go is the emperor Julius Caesar himself. Whilst Caeser was highly intelligent,
we don’t think that would help him survive here. Caesar is well known because of the
betrayal and assassination he went through, which goes to show that he
is unable to protect himself easily. And likely will have made a lot of enemies.
From dictator to cult leader, Charles Manson falls next. Manson was the leader of a cult in
the late 60s and whilst this shows leadership and manipulation skills, Manson was also not
a fighter. He was also not that great at hiding either, as he made his presence pretty well known.
The final to fall during this game is Ed Gein. Gein was a killer in Wisconsion.
He killed for a decade in the late 40s and 50s and whilst he was well-known he doesn’t
really have the skills to survive this game. He doesn’t seem to be a combatant
of any kind, and whilst he was moderately intelligent, he wasn’t that stealthy of a killer.
Showing off their strength or their teamwork skills, the Tug of War is up next on our list.
This is a hard game for this list of killers because it requires two things a lot of monsters
don’t have, strength and teamwork skills. Dahmer may not have been famously strong or
one to work in a team, but he was smart enough to know that teamwork would help him survive.
The first to go during this game is Ted Bundy. Bundy was
a well-known manipulator and killer. Bundy however seems adverse to working
with others and he wasn’t particularly the strongest individual on our list.
Similarly, the next to go is the Zodiac Killer. The Zodiac Killer was a man who
was never caught and people are still looking for him today,
however this secrecy makes it hard for us to say he would work well in any sort of team.
We also believe Jack The Ripper would fall in this game. Jack the Ripper was
a notorious killer in victorian londonn. Like the Zodiac Killer, he was never found
and people still theoirze on who he was to this day. Much like the Zodiac Killer,
his secretive ways would likely make him unlikely to work well in a team.
The next one to go is Saddam Hussein. Saddam was the leader of Iraq up until his death in 2006.
Saddam has been made fun of most famously by South Park, where they take his quirks and bring them
up to 11. Saddam doesn’t like others in power and wouldn’t be one to work together with others, he’s
also not that strong, and both of those are major determinants to his loss here.
The final to fall during this game is H.H. Holmes. Holmes was one of America’s first serial killers
in the late 1800s where he was known for creating the first Jigsaw-esque Murder House. Holmes is not
a strong man, in fact he was quite overweight, even for his time, and that makes it unlikely
his strength would play a factor in winning. Holmes was also known to murder his business
partners which shows he’s not particularly good at playing on a team and would thus die here.
Whether you’re manipulating another or just
skilled at avoiding manipulation yourself, surviving the Marble Game should be easy.
The Marble Game is known for one thing, manipulation, being able
to manipulate your opponent into losing their marbles is exactly what you need
to survive. If you are able to manipulate others or are not easily manipulated you can survive.
Dahmer is actually a shoe-in to survive here. His manipulation skills and pre-meditation to
his crimes shows that he was more than capable of coming out on top in a game of wits.
Also, Ed Kemper would have the greatest odds of winning. After he was caught,
he was IQ tested and scored in the 140s.
The first to go is Idi Amin. Amin was the president of Uganda in the 70s,
where he cemented himself as one of the worst dictators in recent history. Amin
may be a strong and confident leader but as far as one could see he’s not
particularly one for manipulation. And also incredibly impulsive.
The final to fall in this game is Ghenghis Khan. Khan was a warrior through and through
and excelled in taking territory and keeping it. However, he didn’t seem like the type to
manipulate those around him. At best he could muscle his way through this game,
but with so many other heavy hitters it’s highly unlikely he could go through.
The penultimate game, the Glass Bridge is the next game we’ll be on.
The Glass Bridge really comes down to luck more than anything - but factors
such as the order in which players go - to how likely they are to move out of
order - to their own pride or impulsiveness when picking their number are a factor.
The first one to fall would be John Wayne Gacy.
Gacy, better known as the killer clown, falls in this game for a lot of reasons,
but the biggest ones are his lack of scare factor and his ego. Outside of his clown
outfit he wasn’t very scary and was honestly someone that anyone else on this list could push
around. Gacy wouldn’t be able to get another person to switch with him if he wanted,,,
and he also seemed to have an ego - to the point where we think he would want to pick a low number.
The next one to fall is none other than Italian Dascist dictator Benito Mussolini. He was a
brutal leader who led with an iron fist and that is the main reason he fails here. His
ego and general hatred makes it hard to think he’d pick any number other than number one.
SS soldier and monster, Heinrich Himmler is next to fall. Himmler was Hitler’s top guy and behind
some of the worst inhumane events in history. Himmler fails here because he is cowardly,
he ended up trying to hide from the allies when the war ended and it’s likely that this would
carry over into the games. He’d likely pick a number in the middle, and being known as such a
frail and physically intimidating man, there’s no way he’s forcing someone else ahead of him.
Edmund Kemper would die here as well. Kemper was a serial killer in the Santa Cruz area of
California who was caught in a series of multiple murders, originally members of his family,
although he is much more known for his second spree. Having an IQ of 140, we think he’d pick
a number in the middle - which would allow him watch others go first - but not wait long enough
for the clock to run out.but that said, a middle number is still a death sentence - Being 6’9” he
could force other sahead of him… but we don’t think he would fight it. He would likely accept
his fate - because the only reason they caught this guy was because he walked into a police
station by his own choice to turn himself in - afterwards, he requested the death penalty.
The final to fall in the penultimate game is Jim Jones.
Jim Jones is one of the most famous cult leaders of all time, leading the Jonestown
cult. Jones was a master manipulator and quite smart, however, he was also egotistical,
seeing himself as the voice of god. This guy’s B.S. would have likely annoyed everyone else by
this point - and someone is definitely launching him through some glass just to shut him up.
But, our final game comes down to a brutal showdown… In the titular Squid Game?
The final contestants are Jeffrey Dahmer and Vlad the Impaler.
The finale of the games comes down to
a massive knife fight that would be intensely interesting to watch. Jeffrey Dahmer,
despite the fact he’s our titular focus character for today, would have a tough time against Vlad.
The warlord king that is Vlad Tepes III is much more of a threat than the skinny serial
killer that is Dahmer. An frankly, he’s far more terrifying as well. I mean look at this
guy’s painting. Vlad was known for all sorts of torture - and most notably impaling the corpses
of about twenty thousand Ottoman soldiers and using them to build a wall around his kingdom.
Vlad loved torture of all kinds, and there’s no way he didn’t know his way around a blade.
So, yes, Vlad The Impaler is the winner of The Squid Game.
So… congratulations?
Let us know in the comment section what you think - which of these psychos do
you think would have won the Squid Game? Make sure to hit that notification bell
and binge our Squid Game playlist. But most importantly, stay wicked