- It's like giving a presentation,
in a business format,
people asking you questions from the presentation
and you walking out of the room and going home.
(hip hop music)
- Yeah!
- [Gary] You've got your perspective.
(crowd cheering)
I just want to be happy.
Don't you want to be happy?
- Yes!
- Let's go! Let's go!
- Dude! I'm so fucking happy right now.
- I'm so pumped.
How are you?
- So fucking good.
- I've been really looking forward to this.
- Jesse, nice to meet you.
- This is Jesse, my Merch Man. - Jesse, such a pleasure.
- Oh.
- Stone, nice to meet you. - Stone, so nice to meet you.
- This is my D Rock.
- I love it.
Sit, sit, sit.
- Dude. I'm so fucking grateful.
- You are unbelievable--
You are?
I'm super fired up.
- First and foremost, so I sucked at school so bad
that my dad made me watch your videos.
- Really?
- To, like,
- I'm gonna put this up.
- Make up for the shit.
- Look at this, look at this
Only eleven fuckin' people
- [Lauren] Oh my--
- In my, there's only eleven fuckers that
were worse than me.
- [Lauren] That was me!
- I wanna find those eleven people.
- [Lauren] That was me!
- [Man in green shirt] That was me right there, man.
- I get it, he made you watch.
- He made me watch your videos like I was--
- Cause he was smart enough to know that--
- Yes, yes.
- I love it, so good.
- He just knew that that wasn't my shit,
like I wasn't gonna get it,
and it wasn't gonna happen, like
I was never gonna go to college
and that shit just wasn't gonna work.
So he had me watch your videos
and he had like questions at the end.
- You are going to be such a big star.
(Lauren laughs)
I am so pumped right now,
like obviously I meet a lot of artists.
- Fore sure.
- And a lot of them are different.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like some people,
I think they're going to really do solid.
- Yeah.
- Some people I just like, some people
I secretly want to shift their mind.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So they don't burn out in eight months.
- Yeah.
- Or once in a blue moon, like right now
I'm already being very meta.
I can't wait to watch this in 11 years
and be like, and basically tell everybody like,
(Lauren's words are drowned out)
"Fuckin' told you."
- Yep.
- Like it's so obvious,
you connect with your audience in a way
that's so crystal clear to me.
I did, and it took me ten years to understand it.
(hands clasping)
- That makes me so fuckin' happy.
- I had fuckin' dorky wine and tech advice,
(Lauren laughs)
you have fuckin' music.
Do you understand that I'd be fuckin'
Beyonce if I had music?
- [Lauren] So literally how--
- Do you understand?
(everyone laughs)
- That if what I did for a living was as cool--
- You should!
- I might become a rapper.
- I need a Gary Vee feature.
- I might have, it's done.
- Let's go.
- It's done.
This is why if you can balance ambition
and patience it all works out.
I wanted to have a sneaker and a wine
20 years ago.
- [Lauren] Yep.
- The reason everybody fucks up
is they try to eat too much upfront
and then they throw up.
- No seriously.
- I'm being serious.
- And then they don't feel it,
if it actually happens they don't even feel it.
- When you have talent and opportunity
that's like having an unlimited amount of food
in front of you.
The problem is people throw up.
They just eat everything and then it call comes out.
It's patience, when you've, my biggest thing
about patience is completely framed
in happiness and talent.
People don't understand what I'm actually saying.
That's why.
- [Lauren] It doesn't even matter, yeah.
- Think about the fire coming out of your mouth,
if you put that into, how old are you?
- [Lauren] 23
- If you said in 23 years I'll be 46,
which is young as fuck, all of a sudden
all the shortcomings of ambition
and fire get subsided.
- [Lauren] Yeah.
- 'Cause you're like cool I'll do acoustic
thing in six years.
- Yeah.
- It's throwing up.
- Yeah.
- It really is.
- I know, 'cause I know everything
that I didn't accomplish.
- 'Cause you're hungry as fuck, you can feel it,
the universe is talking.
- Yeah.
- And now is the hardest part of your life.
(Lauren bangs on the table)
All the other shit you did was easy.
- Yeah.
- I mean it.
- No, I know.
- As crazy as it sounds, that was--
- I can't wait.
It's gonna be the hardest shit and
I can't wait to conquer it.
- I get it and honestly, it's not any
of the cliche shit like the fame
and fortune, it's not.
- No.
- It's just patience.
- Yeah.
- Got it.
- Yeah!
- When she's done screamin',
I'm telling you right now,
out of all my fuckin' predictions,
this one's gonna feel the fuckin' best!
(victorious music)
Bring more value than I take, man.
From what I wrote, like, I'm just deeply
in need of admiration
which manifests in only one way which is
you give more than you take.
There's only one way it happens.
(camera shutter clicking)
- Ready to tattoo and I'm gonna get it
big as FUCK on my arm.
(lighthearted instrumental music)
- It's judgment, you actually value
the person's judgment.
Which I actually understand, we all have that.
Here's my thing on judgment, they don't have
the context to be be able to judge you.
The reason, but it's also, here's what's
a very important part, what people don't
understand about this is the following:
the reason I can deal with people misjudging me
and plenty people do, often,
is because I also
don't listen to people
that give me accolades.
The reason people are so vulnerable to judgment
is 'cause they thirst accolades.
- Yeah.
'Cause they care what other people think...
- They thirst a claim, they get it,
but then when they get negative feedback
they've already put feedback on a pedestal.
I can't hear either.
You know?
Do you know how flattering it feels for
somebody to say they have goosebumps
that you walk into a room?
Do you, like, just even comprehending that
right now as I say it out loud is wild!
It's so flattering!
That I don't know what else to say,
it's just like remarkably flattering.
However, how that synthesizes through my body
is equal to somebody saying
that I'm a snake oil salesman.
It's like giving a presentation
in a business format,
people asking you questions from the presentation
and you walking out of the room and going home.
That's what people do everyday on Instagram
and then they're baffled why they're not growing.
You just posted an hour ago eight fuckers said
something and you didn't have the humility
or foresight to reply to them.
You just had the audacity to ask why you
didn't get 12 comments.
You literally posted something,
people literally replied,
and you left.
(singing a book)
Everybody it's Gary Vaynurchuck
and this is subset 39, 319?
319 of the AskGaryVee Show
and I'm super excited we're on an athletic kick
here on The AskGaryVee Show.
Great show yesterday
and today I have the great pleasure
of introducing two incredible women
who I've been able to follow.
(women talking)
Why don't you introduce yourselves
to the Vaynur Nation?
- You?
I'm Jocelyne -
- I was gonna say can you tell us apart,
(Gary laughs)
but you gave it away.
- [Gary] I can.
- I'm Jocelyne.
- And I'm Monique Lamoureux,
we're the Lamoureux twins.
We play hockey for the US women's team,
but we're currently on maternity leave,
so we're going to camp in a few weeks trying to
get back on the national team, so.
- But, but, but there are two things
that stand out to me
number one: I do think reverse engineering
individuals at scale is something
I'm very passionate about,
having all these different employees
and there's so many different dynamics
and I think it is a fine line between
the two is better than one,
which I think the optimism that that breeds
I think is incredible and I think is
it's always better to lean into optimism
versus pessimism and cynicism,
but where I'm about to go with the rest
of that sentence is actually
the answer to confidence.
I think the number one vulnerability
in society is delusion.
I think that parents are creating a remarkable
level of delusion over the last 20 years,
because parents have become so micromanaging
of their kids' feelings
and actually know their day-to-days too much, which,
and are trying to protect them from the world,
which unfortunately, is fundamentally impossible
and I believe that we have one to two
full generations right now that are closer
to zoo animals than they are humans.
And so, as I was listening to the stories
as we were talking here, I think one of the
great things that is true about the three of us
upbringing was, we were in frameworks because of
circumstances where losing wasn't demonized
or protected against, it was the merit
of the outcome which got us comfortable with
the idea of, which meant by the time
we were actually 22 we actually knew
that that was part of the variable
and it is remarkably stunning to me to watch
the enormity of 22-year-olds that go into the world
who demonize and fear losing, or setbacks,
because they've been in a over-coddled fake
framework environment where grades have been
the only variable, or 7th place trophies
feel close to a 1st place trophy,
or, or,
or mommy and daddy paid for Uber, or the apartment
and we are just in a very entitled ecosystem.
I think the biggest thing you can do
for those three-year-olds to create
self-esteem and confidence is to make them
be in an environment where losing is reality
and almost even
put on a pedestal,
without it being something that they
dwell on post the outcome.
- You have to learn how to fail
and learn how to lose and learn from it.
- In a real way.
- [Monique] Yeah.
- Not in a fake way.
(upbeat instrumental music)
Yo, guess what?
She's fuckin' still here.
- Nice!
- She's still here.
- I'm obsessed with Gary Vee!
(upbeat instrumental music)