hey everybody this is Rob a treehouse
recovery and today I'm here to teach you
about boundaries now this video will be
beneficial for anybody if you're a
person and you have any kind of
relationships this information will be
valuable but pretty much the focus of
the information I'm providing will be
for people in recovery or if you have
loved ones in recovery so here's some
information about boundaries boundaries
are incredibly important okay when I am
setting boundaries I am honoring myself
and I'm honoring the people around me
when I'm setting boundaries I'm teaching
people how to maintain a relationship
with me and I'm teaching people about my
limits now let's use the metaphorical
doors to really get into some boundaries
imagine that this door is reline of
safety and it separates you from
unhealthy people situations or anything
that compromises who you are now for
strong ego boundaries you can see that
the doorknob is on the inside
that means you control and dictate the
door alright you get to deny access to
anybody who you deem unsafe when you
have strong ego boundaries you will not
let hypersensitive or unregulated
emotions influence your decisions
therefore you will trust your judgment
and have autonomy when you interact with
the people around you this means that
you're really taking time to honor
yourself that you acknowledge the fact
that you have worth value and you're
practicing self-love you don't need
external validation from anyone around
you to feel good about yourself next we
have weak ego boundaries in this example
you can see the doorknob is no longer on
the inside it's on the outside this
means you no longer get to control or
dictate the terms of your line of safety
so people will be able to come and go as
they please
and you will not be able to really
express your emotional state pretty much
what this means is you will be able to
be used because you can be hurt or
manipulated you will no longer have the
ability to trust the people around you
this can affect all your relationships
you may be suspicious of everyone around
you even people that want to help you
this will oftentimes lead to feelings of
less than or also feeling inferior to
the people around you this will then be
internalized to increase
toxic shame this will create a cycle
where somebody will have to resort back
to addictive and compulsive behaviors
maybe even active addiction to cope with
those feelings of shame and it'll
further reinforce any kind of weak ego
boundaries that have already been set in
place finally we get to broken ego
boundaries now this is a very dangerous
situation to be in when you have broken
ego boundaries as you can see not only
is the doorknob on the outside but the
doors has been completely ripped off its
hinges so what this represents is
there's now no line of defense in this
state you won't be able to trust
yourself or the people around you anyone
can walk right in this will leave you in
a constant state of confusion the people
around you will be able to get a
reaction from you and you won't have the
ability to say no with no sense of
empowerment you will be in a constant
state of stress and feel helpless your
evaluation of what's safe or dangerous
will oftentimes being correct and that
will lead to a constant state of fear
now that we have a general understanding
of boundaries let's talk about some tips
on setting boundaries the first part is
setting a boundary is to acknowledge
that I trust and I love myself I have an
understanding of the receiving party and
I know the best way of communicating to
them when setting boundaries it's
important to hold yourself and the
people around you to this new standard
of healthy interaction if you set a
boundary but you do not hold people
accountable to these boundaries you're
sending a very poor message people might
think this person's word means nothing
or I have the ability to manipulate them
if you're a parent or a loved one of
somebody who has the disease of
addiction make sure that you stand as a
united front discuss and set boundaries
together also be prepared for when your
loved one does enter treatment or a
Recovery Center they might begin to set
boundaries with you be receptive to the
way they communicate and respect their
boundaries well this might seem a little
weird or new to you please understand
that this is actually a very positive
change and reflect someone who's healing
this has been robbed a tree house
recovery thank you for joining me today
I hope you guys learned a lot if you'd
like to learn more about boundaries
a dear friend of mine
she he made a very personal video about
boundaries set by his mom while he was
in his act of addiction you could check
that out right in here if you liked this
video please be sure to like subscribe
comment just reach out to us we love to
hear from you this has been rob a
treehouse recovery and i'll see you guys
next time