You don't,
you don't ever have to be pushing somebody to do something that they're inspired
to do, and you don't want to live a desperation life.
You don't want to live a life you need motivation for. Motivation is a symptom,
never a solution for empowering your
life. So let's talk about this topic. First of all,
knowing yourself, you know,
one thing that I am fascinated by as I travel around the world and
I do the Breakthrough Experience, which is one of my signature programs, so
often people come to my programs and they have challenges really,
really being clear of who they are,
what they're dedicated to and how to go and achieve it.
And I guess I've been blessed in my life to find out what that was at
a relatively early period.
And so it's interesting to see that people have struggles with this,
but I wanna address that to help us pass that struggle
and so you can have empowerment in your life.
I've said before in some seminars, so if you've heard me again,
I'm gonna reiterate a couple things,
that every human being lives by a set of priorities, a set of values,
things that are most important to least important in their life.
And this set of values or priorities,
this list of things that are most important to least important is unique to you.
There's not one person on this planet, nobody has exactly the same list,
same set of priorities as you do. It's fingerprint specific.
And that list of values dictates,
that hierarchy of values dictates your destiny.
Tell me what your values are and I'll tell you where you're headed.
Your perceptions, your decisions, your actions, are based on your values.
Now I have a high value on researching and learning and teaching and traveling
around the world. So that's what I spontaneously love doing.
But some people are minimizing themselves to other
people,
comparing themselves to other people and not being clear about what they're
dedicated to and being cloudy and lose some of their power and some of
their influence. So I want to talk about how to break through that tonight.
And so, first of all,
identifying what it is that's truly most valuable to you. Now,
whatever's highest on your value list is considered an intrinsic value.
An intrinsic value is something that is not derived from the outside,
it's like a calling from within.
And this is the area that you spontaneously are inspired from within
to fulfill. Nobody has to remind you to get up and do it. Nobody has to,
like my case, nobody has to remind me to get up and research and teach.
It's just what I love doing. But whenever that highest value is, that's the key.
Ancients called it the telos,
and this telos is the key to what is the most meaningful, the most inspiring,
the most fulfilling, the most empowering thing you can do in your life.
And people who find that and identify that and structure their lives so
they can fulfill that are the people that are blessed and get to build momentum
and do something extraordinary in the world.
And I want that to be you because you deserve to live an extraordinary life.
And the only reason why people have difficulty fulfilling that is because
of the infiltration of other people's expectations and other
people's values that vie for attention in the mind and confuses about what it
is that we are dedicated to doing.
But if you look carefully at what your life demonstrates,
this is one of the most important components.
I say in my value application and Value Determination process,
you can see on my website, it's complimentary, you know,
that your life demonstrates your values.
So if you find and look carefully at what your life really demonstrates;
How you fill your space. How you spend most of your time.
What is it that energizes you? What is it you spend your money on?
What is it you have the most order and organization about?
What are you most disciplined about? What is it you think about?
What do you visualize? What do you talk to yourself about,
about how you want your life, that shows evidence of coming true?
What is it that inspires you?
What do you like conversing with to other people about most and want to talk
about most? What is it you love learning about the most?
And what are the most consistent goals that you have?
If you look at what's common to those,
those 13 value determinants I just mentioned,
it'll tell you what your life demonstrates and what is really,
really important to you.
And if you don't set sail on that and don't organize your life around that,
it's very likely you'll have a,
more of a life of mediocrity instead of an extraordinary life.
Now I'm going to share a story for a second.
It's a story that just pops in my head just now.
And there was a lady in London who attended my Breakthrough Experience program
that I do, my signature program.
And this is Sunday afternoon on a two day weekend event that I do. And she said,
she said, 'Dr. Demartini no matter what I do,
I just don't know what my purpose is.
I just don't know what I want to dedicate my life to. I just don't. I just,
I don't know. I just, I'm lost.' Now I looked at her and I smiled and I said,
'Ma'am, there's no way you can't know what your value,
what your highest value and your purpose is inside.
So your life is demonstrating it. So let's,
I'm going to ask you a question and look at what your life really demonstrates,
and we're gonna awaken this.' And I said to her,
'So what is it you do every single day that nobody ever has to remind you to do,
that you can't wait to get up in the morning and do that you love to do that
inspires you?' And she says, 'I don't know.' I said 'No, no, no, no.
Be accountable a second and answer my question, look objectively at your life.
And don't sit there and judge yourself for a second. Just be objective.
What do you do every day that nobody has to remind you to do,
that you can't wait to get up in the morning and do, that you spontaneously do,
that you love to do?'
And she looked at me and she act like she didn't know again. I said,
'Go and look, look at what your life demonstrates.
Your freaking life is revealing to you, what it is that you do.'
And she said, 'Well,
the real truth is that I love looking at and working and interacting with my
children. I mean, my life revolves around my children.' I said,
'Is that what you spend most of your time on?' 'Yes,
definitely.' 'Is your space surrounded by children and children's items and
children's things that you purchase for your children?' 'Absolutely.' And when
you're energized, when you get to work with your children,
is that what energizes you,
teaching them and helping them with doing what they want to do and help them
find their objectives in life?' 'Yes.' 'And playing and everything else?' 'Yes.'
'And whenever you get money, do you spend it mostly on your children?' She says,
'Absolutely.' I said,
'And where is the most order and organization?' 'Around my schedule.
My whole day is organized around my children and their activities.' 'Okay.
And where are you most disciplined? Do you ever let them down?
Or are you there every single day for it?' 'I'm there every day.' I
said,
'And so what do you think about most about how you want your life that shows
evidence of coming true?' She says,
'My children.' 'And what do you visualize?' 'My children doing amazing things.'
'And what do you talk to yourself about most?' What I'm going to accomplish with
my children as a great mother.' And what is it you actually love conversing
with other people about most?' 'My children.' 'And what inspires you?' 'Watching
them grow.' 'And what is it you absolutely love learning about?' 'I
pretty well read everything and learn everything I can about raising children.'
'And what is it that you have as your longterm goals?' 'Seeing them grow up and
go do amazing things.' And she got teary-eyed.
And I said, 'Your life demonstrates what you value. Now,
the only reason you can be cloudy about what it is that you feel is your calling
and your purpose is because you're comparing yourself to somebody else.
So who are you comparing yourself to, that you're making a judgment on yourself?
Because anytime you put somebody on a pedestal around you,
and think they've got a better life than you and you minimize yourself in
return, you'll inject values from them and cloud the clarity of your own.
So who are you comparing yourself to?' And she looked at me a second. She says,
'Yeah, there's a woman that's got a business, she's got two children,
she's got a business and she dresses really nice and she's really confident.
She makes money.
And I guess I feel like I should be doing that and ought to be doing that.
I'm supposed to be doing things like that. And I guess, because of that,
I'm not honoring what I'm doing.' I said, 'Exactly.' I said,
'That woman has a different set of values.
She has a different set of priorities.
She doesn't have her highest value as the children,
she has a high value on having maybe her business,
having her autonomy or making her own money. Does she have a husband?' She goes,
'No, she's a single mom.' I said,
'So can you see that she has a different set of values?' She says,
'Now that you point it out, yes.' And what about,
is there somebody else?' She goes, 'Yeah,
there's another woman that's social directed.
She's involved with social and charities and very socialized.' 'And does
she have children?' 'She has one child.' So,
but is she focused on that?' 'Yeah her child's grown up.' 'So are you comparing
yourself to somebody that's not even you and somebody else?' She goes,
'I am.' I said, so what is your life really demonstrate?' She says,
'Right now my life demonstrates kids and children and being a mother.' And I
said,
'So can you see that your highest value is doing a great job of being a
great mother?' And she goes, 'Yeah.' And she started crying again.
Then all of a sudden she said,
'That's the only thing I ever wanted to be.' And she said,
'But is that good enough?' I said, 'Is that good enough?' I said,
'Rose Kennedy from the Kennedy family,
she dedicated her life to raising a family of world leaders.' And there's women
out there that go out and do extraordinary things, raising beautiful families.
In fact, none of us would be here if it wasn't for our mothers.
There's a great video online that people can find about a job offer that a man
is doing,
offering people a job that describes all the mother's responsibilities.
And it doesn't even get pay and people are turning down the job because they
think, well, there's no way anybody would ever do a job like that for no pay.
And yet mothers do that. I said,
'That's one of the most extraordinary jobs on the planet.' And she looked at
that she's said, 'That's all I've ever wanted to do.' And I said, 'Well,
then give yourself permission to be yourself,
give yourself permission to be the mother you dream about.' And she did.
She cried. And she came up to me and gave me a big hug. And I said,
'So don't lie to yourself again.
Don't bullshit yourself and think that you don't know what it is you want to do,
because the only reason why you did that is because you were comparing yourself
to others instead of looking at your own daily life and looking at what you
integrally do, what you honestly can't wait to get up in the morning and
do.' She says,
'I can't wait to get up and work with my children every day.' I said, 'Well,
then that's your mission. That's your purpose now in life, that's,
what's most meaningful to you.' And she cried and she thanked me again.
And I said, 'So don't ever compare yourself to others.' You know,
if you're a cat and you compare yourself to a fish,
and think you're supposed to be swimming, you'll beat yourself up.
And if you're a fish and you compare yourself to a cat that's climbing a tree,
you'll think, 'Oh my God', you'll beat yourself up.
But if you honor who you are, you will power yourself.
So the first principle about knowing thyself,
knowing yourself as the Delphic Oracle used to say,
and what we're saying right now, but to you right now,
is that your hierarchy of values, dictate your destiny.
And tell me what you value most and I'll tell you where you're headed.
Every perception, every decision,
every action you take is based on what you value most. It's deciding it.
My highest value is researching and teaching. I spend most of my day,
every day working on that constantly.
So you don't want to compare yourself to others.
You want to compare your daily actions to your own dreams, your own values.
That's such an important thing. And whatever your highest value is,
your identity revolves around. So when it says know yourself,
it means know what your highest value is.
That highest value is where you have the highest probability of being
spontaneously, inspired to take action,
where you build the greatest momentum and you build the greatest accomplishment
with the least amount of effort. So knowing what that is,
is so crucial. That's why I have on my website,
a complimentary Value Determination process.
That's why in the Breakthrough Experience every week around the world,
I'm constantly trying to help people find what that is,
because if they know that they don't require motivation.
See whatever's low on your values, on the priority list,
you need motivation to do, because they're derivative, externally driven,
motivating values, they're extrinsic.
And you don't want to be living where you have to be motivated and push stuff
uphill all day.
You probably had people maybe at work or maybe kids that you're trying to get
them to do something that's low on their values and you have to push them all
the time. And there's like a resistance. You don't,
you don't ever have to be pushing somebody to do something that they're inspired
to do. And you don't want to live a desperation life.
You don't want to live a life you need motivation for. Motivation is a symptom,
never a solution for empowering your life.
So you have to know what it is that's really valuable to you.
And you have to be honest with yourself, and that's not easy.
Many people want to lie to themselves. They want to fit in instead of stand out,
they want to be a conformist instead of being uniqueness. As Emerson said,
to you know, envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.
If you try to imitate other people and try to be somebody you're not,
you're guaranteed to lower your vitality,
diminish your uniqueness and lose track of who you are.
And I'll be surprised at how many people are stuck in that,
they're trying to fit in instead of stand out.
They're trying to be part of that herd instead of be the shepherd.
And they're basically trying to envy other people and imitate other people with
their mirror neurons as a survival mechanism,
instead of a thrival mechanism of being unique, and being an unborrowed vision,
being somebody that stands out with an original idea and original thinking,
original genius occurs from living authentically.
Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.
If you found value out of the presentation,
please go below and please share your comments.
We certainly appreciate that feedback and be sure to subscribe and hit the
notification icons.
That way I can bring more content to you and share more to help you maximize
your life. I look forward to our next presentation.
Thank you so much for joining.
[Inaudible].