despite being huge and having the
ability to open canned goods humans are
frail in both body and mind and we must
care for them perhaps from ennui or
malaise humans often stare at random
inanimate objects for hours at a time
your duty is to break this spell to
remind them that there is life out there
to live perhaps the worst offender of
these objects is the light box you must
remind them that boxes don't need light
you just need the light of your
imagination see what I did there look
I'm an astronaut now and now I'm a
rocketship and the box is the astronaut
I just blew your mind they insist on
losing water bowls that are too narrow
for their heads which means they cannot
drink in the civilized fashion with your
face and your tongue speaking of tongues
humans don't seem to use theirs for
anything
you must lick them every morning and
remind them that a tongue is a terrible
thing to waste I have no clue how they
keep clean besides that cute little tuft
on their heads
humans are for the most part sadly
hairless during the day they cover
themselves with little body blankets you
must donate your fur to these articles
whenever possible each night you must
curl up on their faces or they will
freeze to death
for all of this we only ask the
occasional help opening cans and a clean
place to do our kitty business but even
here they need help too they're
constantly bringing in these giant bags
they can barely carry remind them there
is an alternative all the strength half
the weight clever human