- You're telling me there's a whole gully of these things?
- There's a whole gully of them.
I guess that's why they call it single gully.
Plant gully.
- Yeah.
- Hey, have Kimmy and Jackie been acting strange today?
- What do you mean?
- Yeah, and I was like.
(grunting)
- Have you, you seen my pecks? Double Ds.
- Have you seen Patrick Mahomes?
Yeah.
- They seem fine to me.
- Yeah. It's just that
earlier something odd happened.
- Sup bro.
(smacking)
You stop working out?
- No.
- Well, now that you mention it.
- Jackie, I am so bummed.
I just found out my landlord is raising my rent.
- Ew. Why you bothering me with that weak (beep)?
Be a man bottle that (beep) up for later
when you have a wall to punch.
Shut the (beep) up Damien.
- Yeah. Something's definitely up.
- Have you ever heard of toxic masculinity?
- Never in my life.
- I wonder if they have it.
- Hey.
- Oh no, they're (beep) podcasting.
- Wait, what?
- Whoa.
- All right, we brought on a couple beta males
to tell us what it's like to be a little
pee pee baby sheep instead of a shirtless lion alpha.
- Yeah. Do speak on behalf of your entire gender
you cock on a stick.
- Oh, whoa.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, you gonna say we're mansplaining everything?
What?
- What?
Whoa, sounds like you need more meat in your diet brother.
(barking)
Whoa. Don't wanna walk around looking like a soy boy.
- Soy boy,
- Soy boy.
(laughing)
- Do you even eat eggs in the morning?
- This isn't even plugged in.
Do you even eat eggs in the morning?
- Do you?
- They are positively raging with toxic masculinity.
It's insane.
Shane. We have to help them.
- Yeah.
- Damian, do I sound like that when I talk to women?
- No buddy.
No, no, you are sweet.
And you are so considerate and you share.
You are not like other guys.
- Really?
- We are completely different from them.
Shane. We go to therapy.
We listen, we don't idolize the joker,
and we are gonna fix toxic masculinity here
in this office once and for all.
- Okay, okay.
- Well, if it isn't the dirty ass department.
We need pick me ups.
- Yeah. I'm dragging like a couple
of big gross dangly old balls.
- Wait, the drinks.
(evil laughing)
- Hey.
- Toxic masculine energy.
Made with 100% toxic masculinity,
bottled by Bar Stool Sports and partnership with Gold's Gym.
If you can't finish the can you're a (beep) pansy.
Man, look how how much they have.
- The only way for us to stop toxic masculine energy is
for us to drink it all so they don't have any.
- Yeah. Or we can flush it down the sink
or maybe the toilet or something like,
oh yeah (beep) it.
What, whatever.
Yeah, great. Okay.
(intense music)
(burping)
(gurgling)
- I think I'm starting to feel it.
5'7" is the average height for a man.
- You'll never make me moisturize.
- I'm single because women.
(moaning)
- Oh, what, what the.
What happened?
Oh. Oh God.
Why do I feel so angry and horny?
- Last thing I remember is daring you to drink that drink
that smelled like piss and protein powder.
- Yeah.
(distant talking)
- What the fuck?
- Women get on the treadmill and what are you doing?
Are you running?
Running, what is that all about?
You know, men have to put in, men have to do so much more.
- Because not only do we have to run,
we run from our problems, we run from our emotions.
- We save the women in our office from toxic masculinity
and this podcast, we're gonna break down house,
and make sure to subscribe and review.
- I only kiss my homies good night.
- (beep) yeah, honor back.
- Honor back.
- From the side.
Open up wide.
(laughing)