i got into joe's work uh in 2019. i had started the year off with a concussion and um you know
that kind of spiraled off a bunch of other health issues later on a lot of digestive issues
i was diagnosed with candida with sibo with adrenal disorders hormonal issues a lot of
different things and i spent the majority of 2019 you know just kind of trying to figure out
what my diagnoses were and how to get better so i spent you know started 2019 like that with
the concussion in january recovered from that in like a month or two and then the digestive
disorder started around like march or march or april um and i you know spent the majority
of that year going to like western hospitals western doctors didn't really like that approach
and i didn't really want to take antidepressants or any of the pills that they were giving me so
i decided to try a natural approach so i went to naturopaths i went to functional medicine doctors
i was given my diagnoses that way and i was told that you know i had to go on these different diets
i was told i had a lot of food allergies a lot of food sensitivities um leaky gut you know all
the the list of things that was basically wrong with me at the time and i was very suggestible you
know i was looking for answers and so i accepted believed and surrendered to those diagnoses and
just kind of gave my power away and so i started all these protocols went on different
diets eliminated all the things that i was supposedly allergic to at the time and i
spent most of the year like that you know and it went on to from one restrictive diet to the next
to the next because the diet still weren't working and i was constantly in this fight-or-flight state
i was always kind of panicking about the next meal i was going to eat if if
that meal was going to digest well in my stomach um and so i spent you know the rest of the year
kind of like that and eventually got to a really restrictive diet which was like soup only diet
breakfast lunch dinner that was all i was eating um i was miserable like i i'm a big foodie i love
food so having to go on so many restrictions to the point where you're eating the same meal over
and over again just felt like it felt like hell to me i was like oh i miss food know i really want to
get back and i so i was desperate to try anything and i was working with a nutritionist at the time
she told me about this guy dr jodis fenza and how she had been to an advanced retreat you know how
he people had walked off the stage that had like stage four cancer and were completely healed in a
week people were walking off wheelchairs and i my analytical mind was like yeah right you know if i
if i probably heard of the guy if he was that famous so i resisted for a really long time
to even starting joe's work so i kept kind of going down the path of everything that i was doing
um the diets all that stuff and it wasn't until the end of the year where i
i was on the birth control pill and i got off the pill and as soon as i'd gotten off
all of my hormones just kind of went crazy and you know some of the symptoms started coming back
and at that point i hit a stage of desperation where i was like you know what i'm willing to try
anything so i bought joe's course and over the course of the holidays there's just listening to
his progressive understanding the concepts and and building that model of understanding and then i
started to do the meditations um and as i started to do the meditations i started to realize that
i had developed all of these belief systems about food and about the things that i could have and
that i couldn't have based on my diagnoses so i had like beliefs that you know i couldn't eat
sugar i couldn't have gluten i couldn't have dairy that i was sick and i developed all these belief
systems and so one by one i started to figure out what those belief systems about food were
and i would write them down on a piece of paper and then on the other side i would write down
the new belief that i wanted to believe that was that i was healthy that i could eat those things
i remember i had a belief that i that was like i can eat anything and everything i want and just
enjoy life and you know be healthy again and so i would do the changing beliefs and perceptions
meditation every day and that one i think had a really long breath in it too and i remember like
i started doing the breath and at first i was like what is it you know i didn't quite understand it
and then eventually i started to just go at it with such a willpower because i wanted to heal
so badly and i kind of really came you know with that level of determination and every
day just showed up you know started to change my beliefs about food one by one
and then would get up from my meditations you know focusing on being that person that could
eat those foods and so after a period of two weeks of doing his meditations i was on like 15 or 20
different supplements at the time so i was able to get off all of my supplements and you know
my sleep was getting better my anxiety was a lot less and then i started to do the blessing of the
energy center meditations and i started to really bless those energy centers um the lower the lower
ones where the the stomach you know the stomach was and then also just like opening up my heart
focusing on my adrenals and just really blessing each one of those energy centers
and as i started to do that i started to really embody those emotions of my future a lot more and
anytime i would go into eating a meal you know my mind would kind of create all these thoughts about
you can't have this you're allergic to this and i would close my eyes and i would just you know
imagine that vision of my future and just start to fall in love with that embody those emotions
and once i started to feel those emotions then i would open my eyes and i would eat the meal
and so i went on like that you know and i slowly started reintroducing food after two weeks of
doing joe's meditations around week six or seven i was able to start really opening up that that diet
and those food groups a lot more um i kept showing up you know did his meditation sometimes twice
a day and finally when i got around like three months of doing it i noticed that there was like
something different in my body like i remember i had one meditation where it was almost like
there's this energy that just shot up to my head and i kind of felt like i was gonna pass out
and i just accepted and surrendered to that trusted in the unknown
and as soon as i came out of that i knew something within me had shifted and um so i decided to make
a reservation at my favorite pasta place it was like gluten and dairy and all the things that you
know i'd been scared to try and and i was at that point i knew that i could have the meal and then i
was totally healed and i was totally fine and so i started to eat all the meals and finally
did the lab testing and symptomatically everything had gone away so i thought to myself you know i'm
good i'm healed but what i didn't realize at the time was that although i had overcome my body i
hadn't fully overcome my environment and it wasn't until i came to joe's retreat in february and i
was taken out of my environment that i started to realize some of those fears and limitations
about food the fear of getting sick again was coming up and so here at the barcelo they have
amazing buffet and just you know abundance of food and i was really scared because i didn't
have a kitchen i didn't have my things in the regular environment that i could cook with and
and so i was really challenged when i came here and i realized that i had that fear of food
and also a fear of the pandemic like the the fear of getting sick showed itself in so many
different ways for me from getting sick again to not eating food to getting covet at the event and
on the first day i remember when my body was really trying to unseat me i
became conscious of those fears and i just was like you know what this week i just want to fully
immerse myself and go all in and just overcome these fears and i had a meditation um i think
it was the third day of the retreat where i was just doing the breath with such a willpower and
at one point i started to see there was like this crack that started to like form in my body
and there was light coming out of that crack and i just you know first i was a little scared of it
and then i just surrendered to it a little bit more and and the crack started to get
bigger and at one point there was like i felt like i had reached up even though i was sitting
in the meditation i'd reached up and i almost like pulled this skin suit that i was wearing
off and it was like a skin too that had all the limiting beliefs the fears the you know
all of those things that were holding me back and i ripped it off and i was just a
being of light and i felt so much love and so much wholeness and when i got up from the
meditation i knew that i had left that skin suit you know down in my meditation spot and i i really
felt like i got up as a new person and that i had let go of all those fears um and so i was
super happy and you know i was like oh i'm good i'm done you know i finally overcame myself and
then i went to the advanced follow-up last month in marco island as well and i came back from that
and one of the things i realized i still had left was every time i would bump my head somewhere
automatically my body would kind of go into this fear-based response because it would start to
think about the concussion and how i hit my head and so just a couple weeks ago i was getting ready
to go somewhere and i'd done my morning meditation and um i was opening the door uh to leave and the
ac was strong so it kind of shut the door and i was already on my way out to the door and my head
hit the concrete wall really hard and immediately all those thoughts started coming up for me
and i thought you know what i'm here for this is happening for a reason this is the universe
trying to nudge me to show me this is an area that you still haven't fully overcome yourself
so i remember sitting on the bed and just you know really working with my body and overcoming my body
and just not going back to the past not going back to those emotions those belief systems that i had
those fears i sat with my body for about two hours and canceled my plans the rest of the day and was
like this is what i'm going to focus on overcoming just doing the breath work and at one point i
started to feel like i had just felt so much love in my heart like i had fully transmuted that fear
and i felt very lightheaded so i just ended up resting and sleeping the rest of that day and
after that you know that that in that moment also i
i realized that everything that i had gone through it was my entire health journey and all the things
that i had gone through it was such a it was a blessing like i i felt so much love and joy to
have gone through that entire experience because i realized that that was my initiation that was my
that was what brought me to this moment and the person that i am and that just you know
i felt so much love from the divine and i remember closing my eyes and just feeling
so much gratitude for that experience like i had transmuted those
emotions and i no longer saw myself as a victim i saw myself as a as just a being
of light i felt so thankful to have had those experiences because it brought me to this moment
and then in the meditation today i just felt a lot of those feelings again of just so much love so
much gratitude for that experience and i heard the divine say you know you had to go through
that so you could become the person that you are today um so for that i'm really really thankful