On "Cake Boss" anything is cake! But throw in some blood, gravity-defying flops, the undead,
a cat wedding, and an edible, flushing toilet — and you've
got a recipe for disaster. Roll the footage! We've got it all on tape.
Most people would never dream of eating cake while surrounded by buried bodies. But that's
exactly how an aspiring vampire named Betty chose to celebrate her next chapter as a member
of the fanged undead. As she declared to Carlo's Bakery owner Buddy Valastro,
"We need a coffin cake." "A coffin cake? This I gotta hear."
Explaining that this was the opportunity of a lifetime,
Betty revealed that her transformation was a long time coming.
"Me and my friends are vampires, and I'm going to become a vampire. It's a really big event.
And I'm very excited, and I've been workin' up for five years, and they've finally accepted me."
Well done Betty! She then specified that she wanted the coffin to be
big enough to hold a full-grown adult. Like, a Danny-sized adult.
"It’d be great if it was him. Cause he looks like the right kind of victim that we want in there."
Of course, she requested that the cake be able to bleed when you cut into it.
As you would imagine, Buddy and the crew shared a few knowing looks. But in the end,
they served Betty exactly what she wanted. After the big reveal at her party, a swarm of her fanged
comrades happily devoured the "bleeding" cake with their bare hands. Y'know, like real vampires.
"I think we've seen enough.
Let's get the hell out of here." “Yeah, lets get out of here, man.”
The typically ornate and extravagant designs of most chandeliers tend to conjure up images of
lavish spaces and sparkling ballrooms fit for royalty. So when a party planner approached
Buddy with a request for a cake version, the team had their work cut out for them.
"I think this is gonna be a big challenge. You might hate me a lot when this is over."
But the pressure was kicked up a notch when Buddy realized the cake was for Bob Kuster,
a successful artist who had been making real life hand blown glass chandeliers for
decades. To make matters worse, the fragile cake needed to be
hung from the ceiling — because it's a chandelier! Where else would you put it!
The team crushed it, of course, decorating the stunning dessert with gorgeous spirals of sugar
and glowing LED lights. And when it was unveiled to everyone at Bob's party,
the artist and his guests were equally impressed.
But it appeared that the cake was more for looks, than it was for any kind of function.
*Screams*
Unable to withstand a little gravitational pull, there lay the remains of what was
once a stunningly beautiful sugar-spun masterpiece. Rest in pieces, chandelier cake.
"Now I don't have to pay for this." "I dropped it, I bought it. That's what happens."
One thing we customers may take for granted is how challenging it is for bakers to transport
intricately-decorated layer cakes to their final destinations. No matter how distressing the ride,
we want them to look flawless! No one wants to eat a chunky mess. And none of the pros
want to re-create a one-of-a-kind design. But the reality is, there will always be a few casualties
in the baking business. And that's a lesson that Danny and Anthony learned the hard way.
"Thing is heavy, man."
Sadly, this observation couldn't save Danny, Anthony — or the cake — from the bakery stairs.
"My brother is gonna kill you." "You're tellin' me."
Alas, the once thrilling Sweet 16 cake Buddy had crafted for Lex's birthday
had turned into a pile of colorful icing and sticky crumbs. Which we quickly found out was
the team's least favorite way of getting a cake out the door to a same-day event.
When you think of sinking your teeth into a big ole piece of cake,
you're probably not hoping that it looks like a toilet. But when Buddy's local plumbing supply
company ordered a cake to celebrate their 100th anniversary, he was tasked with creating an
edible stool pool fit for consumption. Here's the thing, though: it had to actually flush.
"A toilet bowl that flushes. Could make history."
Buddy sourced a real toilet bowl as inspiration, and crafted a realistic-looking cake that boasted
a functional flush. But the weirdness set in with the clients' reaction.
It just feels odd to watch a bunch of people cheer about
a toilet — no matter what it's made of. As plumbing company owner, Justin, said:
"If our grandfather could see this now, he'd be so proud."
We're hoping grandpa was busy enjoying his toilet in the sky.
One of Carlo's Bakery's signature treats is the "lobster tail" — a traditional Italian
pastry that's stuffed with French cream, which is made of vanilla bean custard,
whipped cream and sugar. But Buddy's sister Grace was less than impressed when her other brother Joe
and the rest of the team messed with her dad's original recipe and tried to create a new flavor.
"The lobster tail is our signature pastry.”
“Yeah.” “If it's not broke, don't fix it."
The first new filling was bubble gum flavor, which Grace immediately
hated. But it was their next attempt — at caramel popcorn — that got everyone reeling.
"It just tasted like antifreeze. It was horrible."
Gross. Luckily, most of the crew just laughed
off the filling presentation fail. But as she was leaving the kitchen,
Grace offered a bit of her signature balls-to-the-wall advice, when she warned:
"Call me back in when you have some real flavors to taste."
We're back to the perils of cake transpo with this one. But, be honest, how would you move
a gigantic piece of pizza? Buddy and his team were tasked with relocating an enormous pizza
cake to its final destination. And it was all because John, the owner of Lombardi's pizza,
wanted to celebrate his shop's 110th anniversary. With more pizza, of course!
"Now that's a pizza cake! Woo-hoo!"
Buddy threw down on an amazing design for the pizza-versary.
He even torched the "cheese" to make it look like real melted mozzarella
that came straight out of a coal-fired oven. But it appeared that the customized
slice turned out a little bigger than he expected. And no one knew how to walk it through the door.
"I knew it was gonna be big. But I never thought it was gonna be that big."
So, they went through the window! Which wasn't easy for anyone at all, at any time!
But one thing's for sure: witnessing a crowd of grown adults groan as they struggle to move a
giant pizza cake through a window makes for great TV. We give this 5 out of 5 gigantic pepperonis.
"Who wants some pizza cake!" *Cheers*
When Buddy consulted with Christina and Jason, he unknowingly set himself up for another
morbid chapter on "Cake Boss." The pair informed Buddy that they were organizing a zombie walk;
a gathering of zombie lovers and horror film fans who dress up like flesh-eating monsters and
roam the streets because it's a fun thing to do. The event would wrap up with an afterparty
"zombie prom," and they wanted a customized zombie cake to devour with their fellow living dead.
As the couple described their concept — gruesome-looking with rotting blood and
guts — Buddy looked pretty weirded out. Of course, as a baker with a gift for building
appetizing designs, he seemed to have a little problem with creating a gross one.
"I'm so far out of my element."
But even so, he answered the zombie call with his usual A-game
and served this gang the perfect treat to satisfy their hunger for human brains.
Effectively managing a team of bakers likely requires good judgment and excellent communication
skills. And maybe some awareness and humility about the power dynamics at play. But when it
comes to this family, it appears all bets are off. Especially if it's all in the name of business.
"Hello? Be quiet, please, I'm trying to finish up my interview."
Buddy's sister and lead cake consultant, Mary, developed a reputation for drama during her stint
on "Cake Boss." And that was all thanks to her demanding attitude and degrading manner with the
team. During one particularly revealing episode, Mary announced that she was going to train
some junior managers to do her job so that she could stay home and just rake in the paychecks.
"I wanna sit home and get my paycheck mailed to me."
Mary then called a meeting with the managers-in-training and immediately
told everyone that guiding them is a waste of her time. When several employees voiced some concern,
Mary quickly reminded them that they're welcome to leave and even threatened to fire them.
"Whoever doesn't like it
there’s, there's the door. You're not chained here. You're not cuffed here."
She never really came around on her style of managing, and the awkwardness remained
long after Mean Mary left the room. Even when you're on a hit reality show
about cakes, when it comes to baking, there's always more to learn. But teaching additional
skills requires patience. And that's something that Buddy and his experienced bakers instantly
ran out of when they saw a series of sheet cakes that newbie Anthony had just pulled from the oven.
"Look — look in the middle." "There's really no need to yell."
We get that kitchens are high stress. But rather than calmly mentoring cousin Anthony about his
process and figuring out what went wrong, the master bakers of the kitchen used the opportunity
to completely roast him — yelling at him and shaming him for the misshapen, fall-apart cake.
"I'm tellin' you, the next time you run sheets, if I see sheets like this,
there's gonna be trouble." "Fine."
"Big trouble." "Fine."
Maybe the whole thing was just drummed up for TV, but we can't help but feel
a little sad for Anthony. And really sad for the beautiful chocolate cake
that was clearly headed for the trash. When your brother is a famous baker and
your birthday is right around the corner, there's probably an expectation that he'll be hooking you
up with an awesome cake to celebrate. So when Mary approached her brother Buddy to inform him
that her big 40th was coming up, describing it as a "national holiday," she clearly got annoyed
when Buddy brushed her off. In typical Mary fashion, she walked away, yelling,
"I am so not kiddin' around with you. It's my birthday!"
Even though us fans could see that Buddy was obviously joking,
his antics seemed to strike a nerve in his sister.
"And you know, you think you're so great, you's are not the only bakers in town."
Seemingly having made no impact with the bakers,
she went on to complain to her sister Grace about her interaction with Buddy.
"I want your undivided attention, and he's not giving it to me."
But Mary stepped everything up a level when she actually picked up the phone
and called a competing bakery in town to order her birthday cake.
"Reason why I'm calling you is because my brother's being a jerk and it's my birthday.
I know you can make a better cake than he can make. Who needs him."
Gauntlet. Thrown. Except of course Buddy was
the one who ultimately came through on the perfect cake for Mary's big day.
After a group of sea-faring travelers crossed the Atlantic from Norway on a spectacular recreation
of an old Viking ship, they met with Buddy to customize a cake for their triumphant arrival
in New York. And it had to be just as out of this world as the boat. In no shock to anyone,
they decided on a Viking-themed cake in honor of their incredible journey.
"I am gonna make you an awesome viking cake."
But when it came to the brainstorming sesh in the kitchen with the other bakers on the project,
Buddy talked about his vision for animal fur, comparing it to Danny
who he said looks pretty much exactly like a bear.
"Do I look like a bear to you?"
"Little." "Yep."
While we think he enjoys a little teasing now and then, we like that Danny pretends
to be deeply insulted by being likened to an oversized hairy beast. But, hey. It's
all part of the camaraderie of the kitchen! When Mary met up with a client at a cat cafe
for a consultation, she clearly wasn't sure what to expect. As it turned out,
cafe founder Ben wanted to customize a cake for a wedding that he was planning for two
of the cafe's adoptable cats. Of course, Mary was completely weirded out by the whole thing.
"This is one of the weirdest orders I've ever taken."
Carlo's Bakery built its reputation on serving up showstoppers for high-profile events.
And maybe catering a cat wedding wasn't exactly the kind of work
Mary was imagining she would ever be associated with. No offense to cats in love.
"They're not rushing into this, right?" "No. These cats have been dating for years."
But while the entire experience was awkward,
the weirdest part came with the wedding — which Mary officiated of course! As flower petals were
gently tossed over the feline couple, to a meowed version of "Here Comes the Bride," Mary did her
best to improvise a speech to officially wed them. Or maybe not quite officially.
"I now pronounce you kitty and cat. You may kiss each other."
For the first time in her life, Mary actually appeared to be relatively speechless as she
took in the absurdity going on around her. Can't say we blame her. But hey,
the cake turned out great! Too bad the newlyweds couldn't eat any of it.
"Cause cat food flavor is pretty gross."
Check out one of our newest videos right here! Plus, even more Mashed videos about your stuff
are coming soon. Subscribe to our YouTube channel and hit the bell so you don’t miss a single one.