Hey guys,
Get ready for a very special today In Nerd History,
Because this one,
It's-wha-it's got the
It's got-I-I say the word dick a lot in it
Recently I did a video about dirty jokes in
Disney movies and -uh- I think I was a little unfair
I'm sorry guys
I mean after all, there's so many dirty jokes
In so many kids cartoons, why stop at just Disney!?
Here are ten unexpected jokes in your favorite kids cartoons!!
Number 10
Rugrats
Rugrats is a show about babies
But more often than not, it's a show about the part of
The male anatomy that makes babies
And no, I'm not just talking this gross, viscous, white
Squirt of milk at the beginning of the opening credits
That eh always seemed kind of dirty, I'm talking about
scenes like this that are definitely dirty
That sign reads mohel in Hebrew which is a Rabbi who specializes
in circumcisions
it really puts the cut rate time into perspective
the writers had to work in a few masturbation jokes as well of course
which is why we have an episode where Chucky gets a toy named
Mr.Boppo and we get lines like this
"he's been bopp'n it all afternoon, a kid his age should be
playing with his friend not alone in his room bopp'n his boppo "
--And Phil is right, Chucky's probably got a good twelve years
er so before he has to start worrying about that
Number Nine
2 Stupid Dogs
Hey! Check out this dog's dick
*Quack*
*sighs from classmates*
oooh!
Number eight, Powerpuff Girls
and the falaces just keep coming!
Like in this scene where a seductive woman helps to insert the mayor of townsville's pencil
into her sharpener and he like jizzes in his pants
Whatever *unintelligible* he's just a tiny little guy after all the fun is through.
Or check out this scene where the rowdy rough boys where kisses on their cheeks
make the boys grow larger the way the show these wobbly two stretching
stretching and stiffening can't be mistaken for anything besides
Dicks
As a matter of fact I'm not sure that I'm ever going to be able to see the powerpuff girls limbs as anything other than giant wanks ever again
Sorry!
Number Seven Agent Oso
Before starting this video I'll admit that I had no idea what agent oso is
uh er was? is it still on the air?
I don't know all I know about is that it's the rim job show!
I better toss this salad fast!
Oso! No! You can't use your hands!
Yes "tossing salad" has been slang for licking a butthole for a long time
but that's not what we're talking about.
This is where it actually gets screwy.
Here, I see Mom do it! It's like this.
Hey! We're tossing the salad!
Implied anal lingus that one character learned from watching their mother.
Maybe it's best that I don't know what Agent Oso is.
Heh.
Number 6: Swat Kats
I always liked the Swat Kats, they were upfront about being radical.
It says right in the title card!
And nothing's more radical than patting your dick.
No doubt about it Razor, you are one macho cat!
Aint it the truth! Hm hm hm!
Number 5: Harley Quinn
I don't I think need to explain any of these.
I'm Harleen Quinzel, legal counsel to Mr. Debris.
Don't I know you from someplace?
I think I served you a subpoena once.
It was a small subpoena.
Want to try some of my pie?
Honey.
I'm sure you'll want seconds!
Don't you want to rev up your Harley?
Vroom! Vroom!
And yet folks wonder why there are people with a longstanding sexual fascination with a cartoon clown woman.
Ha!
Number 4: Pee Wee's perv house, er ah Playhouse
Paul Ruben's Pee Wee Hermin character started as a part of an adult oriented stage show
So it shouldn't really be surprising that a few risqué jokes made it into Pee Wee's Playhouse.
A lot of them seem to have to do with Pee Wee's neighbor Miss Yvonne,
and her thing for men in uniform,
Is that a wrench in your pocket?
Oh! It's a wrench!
I have a smoke detector. In my bedroom. Over my bed.
*Wink noise*
Pee Wee himself might have even looked up a skirt or two in his days in the playhouse.
Which we could have just taken in uncomfortable stride if he was arrested a few years later
for jerking his chain in an adult movie theatre.
Number 3: Scooby Doo
Fred and Daphne were not officially going out in Scooby Doo,
But in one episode, Velma's foxy cousin Marcy shows up to hit on Fred with some not so subtle innuendo.
Marcy! I didn't know today was your birthday!
Yep! I'm eighteen. Able to legally ... vote.
And Daphne is pissed of course.
If anyone's gonna make fred say "Jinkies!"
It's gonna be her ... even though Velma's catchphrase is "Jinkies!"
Uhhh I didn't think this one through.
Number 2: Hey Arnold!
Hey Arnold! is mostly a show about masturbating, which is fine!
Because if you had a head that was shaped like a football, you'd probably want to accept that you're going to spend a lot of time alone.
Here we have Ernie teaching Arnold an, um, exercise?
And just when you convince yourself that it's not a masturbation technique, Ernie really hits it home.
Do that every day, and when the big moment comes you'll be ready.
And Arnold's not alone in his quest for self abuse though, as evidenced by this episode where Arnold finds his apartment's secret bathroom.
You think I want everyone finding out about my extra bathroom?
I'd never get my readin' done! *Wink*
It's the wink that really puts overboard into dirtier territory.
But I guess that's what you get when you talk to a man who literally has balls for a chin.
And Number 1: Batman the Brave and the Bold
Do you ever wonder what having sex with the members of the Justice League would be like?
Well of course you do!
And don't worry because the birds of prey, they've gotcha covered.
Flashes foes they finish last.
Too bad sometimes he's just too fast!
The Flash is, you've guessed it, a premature ejaculator.
Aquaman's always courageous!
His little fish, less outrageous.
Aquaman's just got a tiny dick.
Which is a curse on top of already having the worst superpower.
Batman throws his battering.
What a weapon! What a bane.
Batman likes to use toys in sex.
Which is made even weirder by this.
He's always right there for the save,
I'd like to see his secret cave!
Yes, she wants to scope the depths of Batman's butthole.
And while that might be excusable on a level of sheer curiosity, because who hasn't wondered what it looks like?
In most continuities, Huntress is Batman's daughter!
I mean ...
There's a limit of how comfortable a family should feel with each other.
And this is probably getting close to pushing it.
Right up to the rim.