Trish Berry how you doing hey Andy with all of the stress that this job transition time
brings can you take can you talk a bit about how you stress manage would love to hear what
meditation leaders you follow okay so now there's two elements to I think Trish what you're asking
me and I love this question you have no I like I'm squealing with Glee right now uh there's the
okay uh let me try to break it down there is your mindset and how you look at something
and then there's the the the stress relieving activities that are not associated with the
way in which you look at whatever it is you're going through so let me be really clear right
meditation exercise sleeping right eating right those are all things that lead to a healthy body
a healthy mind and generally decrease stress right if you're well rested or if you're able to control
your mind and where where where the attention goes you're gonna you're gonna be a lot less stressed
if you're dwelling on the things that uh that you're going through right now you're going to be
more stressed okay so let's talk about the first part when it comes to the job uh search itself
this goes for anything in your life okay so for me it's like building a program writing
a book anything that goes along with selling or marketing or whatever right for you it's selling
you into an organization the job itself for you is an outcome that you do not control the sale
for me is an outcome I do not control so the first thing that I do and this is the greatest source of
stress for all of us excluding major trauma death or anything of that nature right I'm not talking
about you know I lost a parent I lost a spouse I lost a friend I'm not talking about stresses
like this that are external that are very acute that cause us to be bummed out okay I'm talking
about our everyday walking around where we live what we do the friends we surround ourselves with
expectations are the greatest source of strain expectations are usually something we expect
from something we do not control who's tracking with me right you get it that job I was perfect
for but I didn't get it you don't control that somebody else does the raise that I should have
gotten or I should be making this amount of money or she should have invited me to the party or
whatever you don't control those things you have an expectation you get stressed out that's the
greatest source of all strain for people overall all right second thing is when you approach
anything I only look at what can I control so for you what can you control let's be real simple
here the job search challenge you can identify the companies you can identify the people you can send
your messages you can control evaluating them like what's happening uh you can control improving the
language if you feel it's better or improving your resume or any of that stuff 100 in your
control those are the only things I focus on and then I and then I monitor data right when I make
a sale or we do a workshop or we do a promotion or whatever I am obsessed with the process not
the outcome the outcome is a lagging indicator of doing all the things right so from a from an
approach a mindset and an uh a monitoring and an expectations standpoint I only expect that I will
put the effort in I will do this and so on I'm only watching and only racking up victories that's
it every single day when you roll out of bed if you send those three messages I guarantee you
your job's gonna happen those are all victories that's it you didn't have any defeats that day
kind of thing and so that's from a mechanics and an expectations perspective now from a what do
I do from a lifestyle standpoint in order to make sure that that I'm equipped to be able to
maintain my focus maintain the proper mindset not get hung up on outcomes I can't control and
so on has a lot to do with your ability to control where your attention goes so uh uh one of one of
the favorite my favorite analogies is um since you asked Don dapani is I I like I like his approach
to meditation and he talks about your ability to focus on anything right so so if you are focused
on the outcome of your job search we need to we need to get your attention off of that the only
way to get your attention off of that is to be able to control where your attention goes
um if you think about your head and like it's just an empty space where wherever you know
there's like a little Shining Light of energy or whatever you want to call it is going to go to a
compartment that focuses on figuratively right on the job search and that you need to have the
will will power to be able to pull it away from that and focus on something else something you're
grateful for something that you did do well something right and and so you're constantly
in a state if you are stressed out of trying to refocus where your where your thoughts are
at any moment in time the only way to be able to do that is to have strong uh focusing skills and
and willpower so I spend all day every day in everything that I do working on my ability to
focus and my ability to control my willpower and willpower is not just abstaining from something
it's to exert control to complete something well I need to complete something just being focused and
disciplined is willpower so a big part of what I do each day is when I get up I practice focusing
in the morning I like literally practice focusing and concentration I do meditate this whole process
that I go through in the morning takes about 20 minutes to 30 minutes and I don't know if you're
in the leadership program because I go through all this I actually have a focus lesson I have
a willpower lesson I have all of these I have a productivity lesson and an entire challenge
where where as I do my practice in the morning what what are those those are ideal conditions
for me to practice without interruption without the phone ringing without the email open without
anybody interrupting me so now I'm practicing Focus control willpower and everything in a in
a uh no pun intended controlled environment where nothing can go nothing will go wrong and then this
is my practice so that when I go into the game like my work day that I'm I'm already warmed up
right like a golfer who's gonna go and right warm up before the round or a football player
is going to run run some routes before the big game or whatever it is it's the same kind of
thing then as you go through your day what I do is through when I transition between activities
I actually will mentally Park what I do complete it notate it make sure I like okay I'm done with
that did I achieve my goal so on and so forth and then I'll look forward to what I'm about to do now
you might be asking well why am I why am I talking about this when you're talking about being able to
control stress you accumulate stress as you go through any day no matter what you're doing even
if you love what you're doing but what happens is if if as you transition from one activity to the
next maybe I'm stopping writing and I'm going to get on the phone I park what I'm doing so I can
complete it and mentally move it to the side and I don't carry it with me into the next thing and
then I'm thinking with intention proactively about okay my next thing is here's what I need to make
sure I get out of my coaching session with Trish I think about you I think about whatever and then I
think about what an ideal session looks like then when I'm done with that and I pack it up and I did
all my notes or whatever I parked that I think forward and I go on as you do this throughout
the day you are you are retraining your brain to get back to be able to focus on what you need to
focus on and not focus on things you don't want to be focusing on this constant state of of of
doing this in all aspects of your of your life so like I'm gonna take a break as soon as this
is over uh I'm gonna I'm gonna let these two dogs out I'm gonna fold some clothes I'm gonna
think about what my next hour is at at 12 10 or 12 20 or whenever you know whenever that is and
and and I'm I'm ready to go and and what I'm doing is I'm constantly uh you know packing it up quick
reflection thinking forward anyway be doing this in a continual basis helps you keep this thing
in order so my ability to talk with you right now answer you and then go on to the next one
doesn't have to do with me practicing speaking through a camera it ha it has everything to do
with me making sure that my ability to focus not lose my train of thoughts hold a whole outline in
my head as soon as I read the question and know I need to answer these three things for her has
to do with my ability to concentrate that I've practiced every day for years right but what do
we do we practice distracted distraction all day every day right the phones this is beeping that
thing's ringing alerts are going on because we don't control those things well a lot of
your ability to maintain your stress has to do with your ability to block out everything else
that's not really that important but that's making you stressed so you have the things
that are stressful like the job search you have the things that shouldn't be stressing you out
that are you have you don't have practices to be able to pull your attention away from the
things that are stressing you out and get them focused on things that are either making you
happier or will get you out of the rut you're in or will get you moving in the direction you want
so so that's that's what I do I I love Don dapani uh I love Wayne Dyer and those are that's it those
are the only I've looked at a million well not a million but you know what I mean I've looked
at a lot of meditation gurus and those are the only two I like so that's that's what I
go with uh Donna Pani has a book called uh Focus unwavering Focus maybe I think that might be the
title of the book check that out that'll help that's a great question man I love that stuff