- Innergetic
boundaries.
Imagine there's these boundaries where if people cross them,
if they come over to your side of the boundary,
and they're trying to take your energy
you then say, "Hey, nope, I don't allow that."
But imagine you don't set those boundaries.
Imagine what happens is then people assume
that your energy is meant to help them.
Your energy is meant to feed their reality.
Your frame is meant to feed their frame.
Now, the unfortunate thing is that
unless we set innergetic boundaries
people will continue because we've primed them.
We've allowed them to take our energy
to overstep what we allow and what we don't allow.
And until we set boundaries, this will continue to happen.
And we'll continue to get that reflection in our life.
Now, in this video, I'm gonna show you five reasons
why you must set innergetic boundaries
and how to do that.
It's actually very simple, but once you start doing this
it will change your entire life.
And in this video, I believe that
you'll finally make that choice once and for all.
(smooth music)
Welcome back to another video.
My name is Aaron and I help people expand
their consciousness.
So, in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you five,
not 10, but five reasons you must set innergetic boundaries.
Now, first off, let me explain to you a little bit
of where I was not that long ago,
and what it's like now that I have set innergetic boundaries
and let me first off preface this.
There is a difference between innergetic boundaries
and outer boundary boundaries.
Now, innergetic, think of inner,
I-N-N-E-R,
innergetic instead of energetic.
But the difference is when we, you know,
let's give this a little bit more preface.
When we feel like people are overstepping our boundaries
and we don't have those inner boundaries
we then have to set outer boundaries.
Outer boundaries is when you tell somebody,
"Hey this isn't okay, I don't allow this."
That's where a lot of people are afraid
of setting boundaries.
They're afraid of telling other people
what's okay or not okay.
They don't want to necessarily go into that tension.
But here's the thing.
If you become very centered inside of yourself
with your inner boundaries,
you won't have to set outer boundaries.
You see the difference there.
So the key is that if you start to really get
inside your own body, you start to really kind of have this
natural respect for your own energy.
You'll find that innergetically,
people feel that off of you.
You don't really have to have that conversation
at least as much.
The problem is that many people have been primed
into taking your energy, or into you allowing them
to do certain things.
So therefore they on a way have a pattern of it
and they kind of expected.
Or they think that if you start to establish boundaries
it's just an act or something like that
and they don't buy it.
But here is the main part of how to go about this.
So, before this is where I was.
I found myself, if friends wanted to hang out
or friends wanted me to come to their party,
their birthday party, or if people were having a bad day
and they wanted me and they wanted my help,
I feel obligated.
I feel like in a way I didn't...
It was almost like their happiness was my happiness.
And I found that there was this pleasing mentality
that I had that felt like I was losing myself.
And really, I didn't know who this self was.
I would associate my like level of feeling good
with how other people felt.
So, I would then kind of, yeah, I thought it was
my responsibility to then make other people happy.
And in this process, I'd feel very inauthentic.
There were times that I wanna say what I really felt
but I'd hold myself back because I didn't wanna go
into that tension.
Or there'd be times that people would want things from me.
And I would feel this obligation and like inner pressure
that I had to do it or I would lose their love
or validation of support.
And it felt very conflicting like,
it didn't even seem like an option to me.
If people wanted me to come do something like, for example,
I've had times before where I was very busy
but I had a friend's birthday party
that was like five States away.
And instead of seeing it as an option for me to say,
"You know what?
I'm very busy with stuff that I'm doing."
I ended up driving like three or four days.
Like it was a long process.
It was like a whole day drive.
And then it was like this big travel thing.
I was putting my own business to the side,
my own needs to decide so that I could go
because I felt obligated.
And it was like this inner pressure I felt that I just
automatically went.
I didn't even know there was an option for me not to go.
Now, what's happened is I've gone through a transformation
over the last couple months.
And now, what happens is I go inside of my body
and I'm able to decide, do I want to do this?
And if the answer is no
there's no problem with saying, "You know what?
I love you, but this is what I have to focus on right now."
It's a completely...
it's almost like a whole new world
like in the movie "Aladdin" it's like a whole new,
you know what I mean.
But the reason it's like that, is because I didn't see it
as an option before.
Before it was I have to, there's this inner pressure I need.
If I let you down that I let myself down
because I don't know the difference between myself and you.
I identify and take responsibility
for everyone else's emotions.
But now, there's more authenticity there.
There's more of filling up my own cup
before I can fill up other people's cup.
And the interesting thing is that since doing this
I have more respect from other people.
It's like almost like people respect me more
because I have my own boundaries.
People recognize that there's I don't feed into guilt.
If it's like, "Oh, you didn't come do this or something."
It's very easy for me to see.
Well, I need to fill up my own cup
before I can add to other people.
So now there's almost like an unapologetic level of me
just being myself.
But now people respect that more
and it just feels more authentic.
Honestly, it feels more authentic.
I'm more polarized now within myself
and more unapologetically me.
So that's the difference.
Now, what is it that makes the change?
Well, basically what it is, is you have to make the choice
to set boundaries.
That's it.
You have to make the choice.
Now, the five things I wanna share with you
are reasons to help you make that choice.
Now, when we say that letting go is hard.
If you're letting go of like caring what other people think,
letting go of any people-pleaser.
The only reason it appears to be hard is because
part of you hasn't made the choice.
Part of you wants to make the choice.
But the other part of is you're afraid that if you do that
people aren't gonna love you.
People aren't gonna accept you.
People are gonna then resist you.
And then there's an association with identity with that
to where then you feel bad.
Because other people may feel tension
and you feel what other people feel
'cause you're so empathic and stuff.
So,
really what this is all about
is this is about making the choice.
You know, think about it even if you are letting go
of an old relationship.
Now, it's so hard to let it go.
Well, really what's hard to let go is your reasons.
It's hard for you to make the choice to let go.
Because part of you is afraid that if you do let go
you're never gonna find love again.
Or then, you know, there's bad stuff that's gonna happen
or is your one shot at love.
I mean, that's what literally the way the mind thinks.
So, the key to this is making the choice.
Now, here's five reasons you must make that choice.
Now, first off, you've thought it is your responsibility
to make other people happy.
And because of that mentality, you've then lost
and you've abandoned yourself.
This is a lot of times the childhood trauma
that has people abandoned themselves
so that then they can make other people happy.
That's what happens.
People pleasing.
It says, "If I can make you happy
and you feel good, then I feel good."
We've then tuned ourselves to other people
rather than tuning ourselves to ourselves.
So, when we're growing up, many times people pleasing
comes from parent pleasing.
So, at the parent pleasing saying, Okay,
you want me to do this?"
I will do this because I feel like I have to
it's my responsibility.
Your Parent gets you into doing it
or you don't get love unless you do it.
And you then abandoned yourself.
So a lot of people are afraid of being abandoned too.
Maybe a parent abandoned you growing up emotionally
or physically.
And then, you try to change yourself so that you can receive
that same love.
So, one of the reasons you must set boundaries
and make the choice to set inner boundaries
or outer boundaries if you need to,
is that if you don't you will continue to live
for other people.
If you don't, you will continue to spread out your energy.
You will continue to drain your energy
and you won't wanna know why you feel so drained.
You won't know why you feel so
depleted
and it will just keep that pattern going.
So, imagine yourself, sometimes pain and pleasure
is a way of us making a choice.
Imagine yourself in five years from now.
And imagine you just keep giving yourself.
You just keep giving to other people.
Even when it's not authentic, you keep just giving.
Imagine how depleted you feel.
It's life energy, life force energy that's been depleted.
The more you imagine that,
the more you see in five years from now
that you'd be even more depleted,
even more the energy be sucked out.
You can then see, well, okay this actually isn't serving me.
But you can make that choice now.
Unless you make the choice now that's your future.
When I was working a nine to five job selling woman's shoes
I remember I thought to myself, I work with all these people
that are older than me, that are selling shoes,
that are not passionate about it.
That's my future if I stay here, I don't wanna be that.
So then I started making daily videos on YouTube.
So, pain is a very powerful way of motivating you
to set inner boundaries.
I'm gonna tell you how to set those as well.
It's very powerful and it's very simple.
The second thing is people will not respect you
unless you have your own inner boundaries.
If somebody is able to come up to you
and kind of like take things from you or demand from you,
and you keep saying yes.
You have trained them into that behavior.
You've allowed it.
Sometimes people have this kind of mentality.
It's like, well, this person did this to me.
You let them, you let them do it to you.
And then because you let them do it to you
once you then justified it and let them do it to you
over, and over, and over, and over again.
So the key to this is eventually realizing
that people won't respect you
because you're not respecting yourself.
So respect is funny as I become more authentic.
And as I've set things I wanna do when I go in my body
and I feel, do I wanna go to this thing?
Do I want to do this?
And people maybe want me to do what they want
because it benefits them.
I say, "No."
They didn't almost respect it
even though it's more polarizing, it's a funny thing.
Tension is a good thing sometimes.
A lot of people pleasers,
people that don't set boundaries, they got shoddy tension.
They don't like feeling tension
and that's why they have crappy boundaries.
So, that's another part of this process.
It's very important to understand is that respect
literally is gone unless we respect ourselves.
So that's the second reason that you want to set energetic
and outergetic boundaries.
The third reason you want to set innergetic boundaries
is that if you don't
you will constantly be feeding into other people's frame.
So imagine like I couldn't say no to go into, you know
taking a day and a half trip to someone's birthday party.
Even though I had a lot of busy business stuff going on
then I'm feeding someone else's frame.
And what happens is I'm not feeding my own frame.
So you might find yourself constantly giving
and constantly doing things at the expense of yourself.
But think about this as frame, in order to be successful
I've found you've got to be in your own frame.
You've which means being in your own
almost vision for what you want to experience
in your life, building that vision.
And the more you deplete your energy, the more
that you are siphoning that energy out for other people
because you haven't set boundaries.
The more that energy, then can't go towards what you want.
I know, even for myself
think about it like becoming successful
for me was a balance of also having boundaries
with what kind of things I was doing.
I used to smoke a lot of cannabis.
It's not inherently bad, but
for me it would deplete my energy.
I would do it and I'd feel very, kind of just lethargic.
And I just want to sit around.
I was cool with not taking action
but what happened is when I quit
I then had all this energy
this life force energy that came back to me
that then allowed me to create something magical
and to have more energy going into that.
I found that success takes quite a bit
of energy being streamlined towards a vision.
Now, if I didn't have boundaries and said, you know what
it's okay that I do this.
It's okay.
That I'm around people that are draining my energy.
It's okay that I have bad influences in my life.
Then guess what?
It's constantly depleting.
My energy
and it's like I can't actually build that momentum.
So you might have to say no to substances.
You might have to say no
to different foods that weigh down your energy.
You know, the food you eat does affect your energy as well.
So it's something to definitely think about.
Now, the fourth reason you must set energetic boundaries is
that you become the five people you're around the most.
Now, when I was first getting on YouTube
and I started making daily videos on YouTube, back in 2017
I'd have friends that say, Hey, come hang out
come do this, come do that.
And I would say, yes, if I did
then I would be then saying no
to my vision of going full-time on YouTube.
And I would have never actually got momentum.
I realized that the five people I was around the most
if they're smoking cannabis, if they're drinking
if they're partying, if they're not doing much of that
if they work nine to five jobs, they hate
then that's not actually fueling my life or my energy.
So, if you don't have those innergetic boundaries
then you're not going to be able to then have
create your own frame to then attract people
that do resonate with your new vibration,
your new way of being.
Now that I am in this high vibrational state.
And I do what I love.
I have a lot of high vibe friends
people that are also successful that love what they do.
And it fuels me to be around them.
So realize that the five people you're around
the most are effecting your energy.
Whether you are aware of it or not
and be aware of what that is and to set those boundaries.
Yes, it kind of sucks at first
but if they are mad at you, then that's conditional love.
They're saying I only love you.
I only accept you when you're around me.
Instead of realizing that you must love yourself first
and that, then I have friends
that even to this day, they still just respect.
And they love me.
And they know that I had to take a step back
so that I could then go towards that vision
and the ones that don't well, they don't,
they, I was feeding their frame.
And if I wasn't feeding their frame
then that Love's not there.
That's conditional love.
So this is a part of that as well.
Now, the fifth reason
you must set boundaries
is and this is going to be also the cure. Okay?
Is that if you don't, nobody will, nobody will.
You might have that one friend that steps
in every now and then it says, "Hey, that's not cool"
but they're not going to be around all the time.
So, the key to setting inner boundaries as well, is this
I have found that there being in your own frame
and being in your own body is the same exact thing.
The body is the subconscious mind.
When I started doing a simple meditation practice.
And if you want me to make this meditation
on the simple meditation practice
like this video and comment below
and ask me, tell me, you know, that, that you want it.
This meditation is so simple,
staring at a candle, flame,
breathing in and out on the, in breath,
you feel the separation between you and the candle flame
inside of your own body.
And on the out breath
you feel yourself connect to everything around
that's as a shadow integration exercise.
But what this does is this helps you to feel inside
of your own body, inside your own self
inside your own frame.
And as you feel the separation
between you and the candle flame,
you and the walls, you and outside,
you then feel in your own frame, it feels powerful.
You can then feel that this frame
this body is the boundary between you and the outer world.
Now, what happens is it's almost
like the reality itself, zeros and ones.
It's like the matrix, zeros and ones.
There's zero.
Let's say that zero represents oneness.
And the one represents self, okay?
We're both duality of this planet is
that we both have an individual experience
but we're also all connected.
Now I know that I've done a lot of meditations
before that let's connect our heart fields together
and feel the oneness that's great and everything,
but actually what's also very powerful
is feeling this separation
between you and other people.
Because as you feel the separation, you feel the boundary.
Then you start to ask yourself, Oh, this is
this is what I feel.
Oh, that's your stuff.
Not mine.
If somebody is trying to project onto you, if you're a coach
or you're trying to be a coach or something
and every time you talk to someone, you absorb their energy.
It's because you've literally identified with their energy
and not being able to feel the separation.
So it's good to feel the connection
but it's also good to acknowledge the separation.
So this has been one of the biggest things is feeling
and there is some magnetic quality about it.
The more I go into my body when I'm walking around
not needing other people to validate my reality
say hi to me and stuff.
And I'm just in my own frame
it's a different level of magnetism
that is like magic.
It's very hard to describe.
But anyways, this has been
the key for me is understanding this energy dynamic.
If you want me to make that meditation, click the link, or
you know, like this video and comment below, let me know.
I'm thinking about making it.
If enough people do that, then I will do that.
But other than that, these are five reasons to
make the choice making the choice is very easy.
It's just that you realize
that even though it might not feel comfortable
it's just because you haven't done it before.
So it doesn't feel familiar.
But as you do that
you will then find that you have more magnetic quality.
It's easier for you to say no, or to say yes, but you do it
from a point of choice and then you'll feel more empowered
and you'll start creating reality in a very powerful way
because you'll be using authenticity, authentic energy.
Plus you'll be feeding your own frame.
So with that being said, I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
And as always, I will talk
to guys on the next one, peace love and namaste.