Vanessa 0:07 Have you ever
felt sadness or anger after sex is over? Or maybe you've even cried. This. While it might
be distressing in the moment is actually totally normal and it even has a name.
Xander 0:19 In this video,
we're going to talk about what it means to be sad after sex and what to do if
you're experiencing this sensation or any other emotion that feels uncomfortable.
Vanessa 0:28 So if you have
ever felt sad after sex, let us know down in the comments below.
Xander 0:32 If you're brand
new to our channel, first, we just want to say hi, we are Vanessa and Xander Maria and Vanessa
here is a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude. And we've been together 14 years,
Vanessa 0:41 we are here to give you
tools, tips and techniques to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside the bedroom
and out. So if that's something you're interested in, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. Okay,
so let's get into it. A lot of people experience negative feelings, sadness, even depression
immediately after sex. And this is called post coital dysphoria, or I'll sometimes called PCD.
Xander 1:07 So if you're
experiencing it, just know that this is actually pretty common you are for sure,
not alone. In fact, a 2019 study found that 41% of penis owners have experienced
this in their lifetime and 46% of vulva owners, so just under 50% of men and with
Vanessa 1:23 and you can really
experience a wide range of negative emotions with PCD, from anxiety, to sadness, even anger,
like we mentioned at the beginning, and it can last for really varying amounts of time,
sometimes just a couple of minutes for some people, and in some instances,
it can actually be a few hours. The other thing about PCD is you don't necessarily
need to have had an orgasm to experience it. It could just be from any sort of sexual contact,
Xander 1:49 for a very small number
of people can actually be so extreme that it leads to you wanting to avoid sex, because it is so bad.
Vanessa 1:56 Yeah, you know what's coming.
So you're like, Well, why would I want to start having sex. So PCD like so many things when it
comes to sex is very under researched. So we don't know a ton about why it happens. But some current
theories include, it could be more about your overall feelings about sex or your relationship
or yourself. And they're just happening to come up in that moment after intimacy. So maybe there's
stuff about how you feel about your body any past abuse or trauma that you've experienced stress or
even just negative feelings, or beliefs that you've been taught to have about sex, like any
sort of sexual shame that was passed on to you. It could also have something to do with hormones.
your hormone levels definitely surge during sexual activity, and they can change a lot during orgasm
as well. So that shift in hormones may cause that feeling of imbalance after sex for some people.
Xander 2:51 If you are
struggling with PCD, we strongly encourage you to engage in aftercare aftercare is
how you and your partner check in and support each other after having sex. So
Vanessa 3:02 maybe you need to like
cuddle for a little bit with your partner or talk about the emotions that are coming up for you. Or
maybe you need to engage in some like some low aftercare a little bit of self care. It could
include things like exercising, meditating, taking a bath or a shower to relax or reset or any other
little self care activities that tend to make you feel better at other points in the day,
Xander 3:24 we actually have
an entire YouTube video all about aftercare, we're gonna put it down in the description box,
and we highly encourage you to check that out as well.
Vanessa 3:32 And of course, if you are
experiencing emotions or feelings that just feel like very intense, really overwhelming if it's
causing you to want to avoid sex, like Sandra mentioned earlier. And of course, we recommend
seeking out therapy or sex therapy. So that wraps up our video on post coital dysphoria. If you
Xander 3:50 liked this video,
please give it a like you can also hit the red button to subscribe to
our YouTube channel. And while you're at it, click that notification icon so you get
notified as soon as we post more videos. Thanks for watching. See you next time.