[Diane - Dad ft. Yelle] ♪Dad is trying as hard as he can♪
[Dad, singing and clapping:] to play the video game Minecraft.
♪But Dad feels like an actual man, when♪
[Dad, singing and clapping] he plays the video game Minecraft.
I mean, Dadcraft.
Dad is going to play his single-player game.
Dad is not drunk.
Dad is playing Minecraft.
Dad loves Minecraft.
Dad hasn't been to work in a while, and Mom isn't happy.
Tell me the topic of today. This is lunacy!
[laughs]
Losing your mind!
Someone like-
Someone who plays Minecraft all day!
That just sounds completely ridiculous.
But it's not ridiculous, because we're having the greatest time of our life.
The greatest time...
Dad can't get up this wall!
Get up the wall. Dad is really bad at Minecraft.
But look it, he's going! This is what Dad has made so far.
Do you want to see? Dad wants to show you what he's made.
He's made a lot of great things.
Dad put a dirt house on top of a dirt hill,
and Dad put a torch there and a torch there,
for the night time when that comes rolling around, and all the perverts show up.
All those spooky skeleton perverts.
Dad throws them in this hole and lets them sit there.
FOREVER.
Cause Dad doesn't want them getting near his new pile of house.
Dad made a big pile of house in the single-player game.
That's where we are right now, playing the single-player game.
Isn't it the best?!
Dad's having so much fun in the single-player game.
Dad never wants to leave Minecraft ever again.
[unhinged laughter]
Look at that pile of dirt!
Combination with wood and dirt. It's beautiful.
No windows because Dad doesn't know how to make glass yet.
Can anyone help Dad?
Dad basically made this house. As you can see, he has a door.
He might not look like he has many supplies, so how does he make a door?
Well,
Dad...
made a diving board of stolen wood from these houses.
Dad just steals other people's houses.
None of these houses over there have doors or steps anymore,
because Dad took them, because Dad doesn't understand how to make things in Minecraft,
because Dad is very new at Minecraft.
So what we will do is you will help Dad-
go from the very beginning and make a new house.
We'll go to a new area, and we'll start brand new.
Dad needs to find somewhere to dig, correct?
Does Dad needs to find a mine that already exists, or can he just dig right here?
[several gamers agree]
Ooh, that's exciting, because Dad loves digging new holes!
[sigh, giggle]
Dad feels really good. [giggle]
Dad has been playing Minecraft all day, and it's the greatest day of his life, possibly.
Maybe the second best day from- [inaudible voice]
Ooh, here's a mine already! That's nice!
[Female gamer:] I'll give you a heads up, Dad. You wanna make a wooden pickaxe,
you can break stones, you can make a stone pickaxe.
[Dad:] HI ANIMAL!
Ooh! I love you!
[Female gamer:] Turn wood into planks so he can make a wooden pickaxe,
so he can make a stone pickaxe.
[Dad:] Dad has- [Male gamer:] Dad?
[Dad:] Dad has birch planks and oak planks.
[a few players talking at once]
[Male gamer:] On the crafting thing, with the...
[Female gamer:] [inaudible]
[Dad:] Oh, the crafting thing's in Dad's house.
Way over there.
[Female gamer:] You can make another crafting table right here.
Just put one of the- each of the planks into the crafting square.
[Dad:] Hey, look!
This jerk looks like Neighbor.
[Villager makes sound]
[Dad:] Sounds like him too.
[Dad:] What does Dad need to make this-?
[Male gamer:] Take the...
[Dad:] table.
[Female gamer:] Take the planks and put them in each of the four squares under where it says "crafting".
[Dad:] [gasps] That's all it takes?!
[Male gamer:] Yes.
[Dad:] That's easy.
[Dad:] And put it there. Ooh! Look it, Dad made a craft.
Dad crafted a Minecraft craft.
Dad: YAAY!!!
[several gamers talking at once] [Dad:] Minecraft minecraft minecraft minecraft...
[Gamer:] That's a gamer moment.
[Dad, singing:] Minecraft!
Get out of the way, weeds!
[Female gamer:] Now, to make a pickaxe, use your two sticks and three planks on top of the two sticks.
[Dad:] Two sticks. Do I do like this?
Or this way?
[Male gamer:] There should be a book, and it's a recipe book.
If you click on the item you want, you get it...
unless you don't have the materials.
[Dad:] Oh, this?
[Female gamer:] Put two sticks in the middle of the square, the bottom two row, then planks on the top row.
[Dad:] Okay.
Wait a second.
[Third gamer:] I must say Dad, your beard is lovely.
[Dad:] Oh thank you. Dad has not taken care of his human body in a while, so this is what we get!
Please get out of Dad's hand, now.
[thump]
What is Dad doing?
What is happening?
[Male gamer:] The white ones mean you can make that item.
[Male gamer:] The red ones mean that- [Dad:] Ohhh.
[Male gamer:] you don't have the materials to make-
Just click it, and then take the item out of the box...
at the end of the crafting table, where you get your item when you make the item.
[Dad:] That was so much easier!
[Dad:] Dad will use the pickaxe, correct?
[Dad:] As he forges ahead? [Female gamer:] You can use the pickaxe to mine rock.
[Dad:] Dad is actually Minecrafting!
[ominous music]
Do you hear that music?
[Male gamer:] Yay!
Look at this! What- what is this? Is this gold?
[Female gamer:] That's iron.
You wanna get a stone pickaxe.
[Dad, singing] ♪Dad is crafting!♪
♪Welcome to Dadcraft!♪
♪Dad is crafting!♪
Ooh!
♪It's so much fun, he lost his mind, but it's okay♪
♪Because Minecraft is mine!♪
[Dad:] Isn't it interesting that you can craft just by hitting the E button,
but then you have to do some crafting at the stupid table?
[Male gamer:] Yes. The table has more slots for crafting.
[Female gamer:] That's cause you need more space!
[Third Gamer:] The crafting thing in your inventory is mostly just so you can make a crafting table,
and get yourself started.
[Dad:] But Dad has khakis with infinite space.
So Dad should be able to hold everything.
[Third Gamer:] Reasonable.
[Dad:] So, is Dad's supposed to just get more rock, is that what he's doing?
[Fourth Gamer:] Yes, that's great!
[Male gamer:] Yeah, you only need a couple rocks.
[Fourth Gamer:] You should have plenty to make a stone pickaxe now.
[Dad:] Okay. [Fourth Gamer:] If you go back to the crafting table.
[Dad:] Okay, Dad is going, and Dad will hit the button.
[New Gamer:] Is this working?
[Fourth Gamer:] Okay. And now to turn the crafting table...
[Dad:] So now Dad has- it says Dad has clay.
[Fourth Gamer:] Ah, yes, you got clay as well.
[Male player:] The cobblestones.
[Dad:] Bab Bab in YouTube, Dad will be playing for a couple of hours.
Okay, next to...
[Fourth Gamer:] Oh, if you look, you will see you have the pickaxe. On the left, it shows stone.
Just above where it says one out of four. You can click on that, and you can now craft a stone pickaxe.
[Dad:] [excited noises]
Dad loves you all!
[Third Gamer:] I love you, Dad!
[Dad screams]
[Dad:] Dad made a furnace!
[gamers chatting inaudibly]
[Dad:] This - this is a huge moment in Dad's life.
Dad has made his first furnace ever.
Where- where does Dad put this furnace?
[Dad:] The sun has risen because the sun heard the good news that Dad made a furnace.
So it wanted to come see for itself. Dad controls the universe.
Dad is in control of this whole place.
Do you understand Dad's power now that Dad has built a furnace?
Dad will take over the universe!
The sun itself is proud of Dad. [excited noise]
Dad will die right now. He knows it.
[gamers chatting]
[Dad screams]
You're beautiful! Let's look at it from all sides. Ooh.
[Male gamer:] If you find a black boulder, mine that. That's coal.
[Dad:] Woo, Dad is doing so good right now. [giggle]
[Dad:] Dad doesn't like why... why is he hearing this spooky audio every time he comes down here?
[Male gamer:] The noise happens when dark happens.
[gamers chatting]
[Dad:] Life is crazy in the YouTube chat. Don't be concerned for Dad.
Why are you worried for Dad? Dad is having the greatest time in his life.
Everything is fine.
Okay, Dad needs to get over there, right?
[gamers chatting]
[Female gamer:] You can put down cobblestones so you can walk across it safely without burning up.
[Dad:] Inside of this lava, or over it?
[Male gamer:] You can stop the lava completely if you put a block where the lava-
[Dad screams]
DAD'S ON FIRE! DAD'S ON FIRE!
[Dad screams]
NO!!!
[screaming and sobbing]
Dad is not having a good time!
Dad is not doing good.
[sobbing]
Dad was going for the water, but the water was a year away.
[gamers chatting]
Dad has to go back and get his items now.
Oh no. Oh, Minecraft is scary!
There it is!
Oh, right where he left it. Thank you, thank you! This is Dad's getaway!
All you creeps! Thank you.
[Dad screams]
Who is that?!
[scared sound]
What in the world?!
STOP TOUCHING ME!
[Dad screams]
[sobbing]
Where's my crafts table gone now?!
Get out of Dad's face. Dad will defend Mom's honor.
No, Dad didn't defend Mom's honor! Oh, he was thinking about Diane too much.
[sob]
Oh, where is it? Oh, here it is!
It's right here, it's right here.
That thing... Dad...
is terrified of. Was it a walking squid?
Dad's going to clog this...
jerk of lava.
This nature's... zit, oozing all over Dad.
Okay, we will take... where is regular stone?
[Female gamer:] Make sure to mine stones, because you put down your iron instead of rock.
[Dad:] [gasp] Kairi, thank you for ten dollars. That's incredibly nice of you.
Oh, Dad's putting down expensive rock, it seems.
Maybe... oh, no we didn't.
[Third gamer:] Oh, Dad, I suggest...
[Dad:] "Kairi, don't tell him, but I'm watching Dad play Minecraft while I'm at work."
That's a good person. You're a very smart person.
Oh, no, it's dark! [sob]
Dad, go to the hole, go to the hole.
Boom.
Lava is gone.
Move this one back down here. Dad doesn't have too many,
so he needs to take them with him.
[singing] ♪Deep in the hole. We are Dad. We love Minecraft!♪
[ding]
Dad- ooh! Dad likes getting gold.
That was a happy sound.
[spooky noise]
Why does that dark spooky noise keep happening?
Dad is playing Minecraft, like for real!
Dad is doing it like all of his human friends do it.
This is great.
What's down here in the abyss?
So Dad's just gonna start digging and see what's around here.
[Female gamer:] Have fun, Dad!
[Dad:] Because there's more stuff hidden beneath, correct?
[Female gamer:] Yes! Diamonds... red and blue...
[Dad:] If anyone in YouTube doesn't know about Dad's Discord,
Dad thinks Alligator might have posted the link in... the YouTube chat.
You should jump in Dad's Discord! Dad's in there often, having a great time with everyone.
That's who Dad's is talking to you right now, is the Discord voice Minecraft room.
[Third gamer:] Hi, YouTube!
[Dad:] Dad's not finding anything good.
How do you- Dad heard there's diamond in Minecraft. How does Dad-?
[Female gamer:] You have to go really deep.
[Dad:] Ooh, Dad's going deep!
Okay.
What does Dad have right now that he can make at the stove or the crafting table that will help him?
Iron and coal?
[Female gamer:] Yep, put the coal in the bottom square.
[Dad:] Look at that, it's doing something!
The computer's thinking.
[Female gamer:] It's smelting!
[Dad:] [screams] Dad made an ice cream bar!
Woo!
[New gamer:] You need three.
[Dad:] It's doing more.
What a day! What a day.
[New gamer:] You can make a extremely good pickaxe that could allow you to mine three more...
[Dad:] Allison, Dad is awake.
[Male gamer:] Dad will become infinite.
[Dad:] It's... Dad wants to let the Discord know, it's gonna be very hard for him to hear and talk to you.
Dad's only gonna be able to ask you questions and then listen for answers when he asks questions, because...
Dad has to pay attention to the game and the YouTube chat and Discord,
So, sorry if it sounds like Dad's ignoring you,
but Dad needs to address some comments in YouTube because...
Alison, Dad is completely awake as you can see, cause he is playing Minecraft and he is winning.
Pewdiepie, get out of the way, because Dad's here and Dad has made five ice cream bars!
Okay, Dad made those.
Now Dad's gonna ask the Discord chat: what does Dad do now with the ice cream bars?
[several gamers]: Make an iron pickaxe.
[Male gamer:] Do the same thing you did with the wooden pickaxe.
[Female gamer]: Yep, same way you did with the rock one, but now you do it with the ice cream bars.
[Dad:] [gasp] A sword! Dad can make a sword?! Are you serious?
[growl]
Ah! Dad hears something horrifying.
Oh, is that it?
[growl]
[Male gamer:] Ow!
[growling]
[Dad:] Get out of my face!
[growling continues]
Come on...
Hurry it up! Dad doesn't have all night!
[screams] There's another one!
[several gamers]: Use your wooden axe.
[Dad:] Dad is using that, isn't he?! Oh, Dad's using a soap ice cream bar.
[growling]
Oh, there's many.
Dad has no hearts.
Oh, Dad died! [screams]
Dad needs to really go to sleep.
It's been a long time since Dad hasn't had a nap.
Oh here was the- this was the battlefield where Dad was slain, late last night.
Good thing it's daytime and all is fixed. Mmm, Minecraft's great.
Back to our agenda. What were we doing here?
Iron pickaxe! There it is.
Okay.
Dad has sword. Dad will destroy universe.
Okay, Dad's going back in the hole.
Dad wants to basically build a house.
Dad's gonna put his house on top of that mountain.
Matt asked in YouTube,
"What does Dad do at the office?"
Dad does paperwork. Dad works for Company.
Dad has job. Dad is worker.
Dad would like to become executive worker, but Dad thinks he's going to be ex-worker,
because he hasn't been to work in a while, because Minecraft has been taking over his life.
Don't tell Boss.
[Male gamer:] How is Dad's co-worker?
[Dad:] Dad's co-worker is Marty.
[Male gamer:] How is he?
[Dad:] Hello, Cardinal. Oh, the Discord chat- YouTube, the Discord chat is asking, "How is Marty?"
Marty's good. Last time Dad saw Marty, he was fine.
Marty has a girlfriend. He would like to propose to her sometime.
But should- mmm, darn it.
Dad needs a bed here. Does Dad have a bed in his inventory?
Can Dad sleep in a bed anywhere?
[Female gamer:] Dad had to leave his bed at his old house.
[Dad:] Dad should just go steal someone's bed and put it wherever he needs it.
Dad is nowhere near his house now, and it's gonna be hard when it gets dark out.
Oh, it's working!
Look at Dad! Dad's making a hot potato.
Ooh!
[chomp chomp]
Dad's first meal in Minecraft! It was delicious.
Okay. Dad is making the dangerous journey back to his house at night, armed with his sword.
So he can sleep safe.
Ahh, you're a- oh, you're a villager, good.
Oh no, I broke my ankles, and right in front of the stupid skeleton.
No, no, I will slay you!
No, he won't. Dad died. He knew it. Dad definitely died.
Oh, back at the bed. Okay, phew.
Now Dad will sleep until it's daytime and go get his stuff.
That was actually a faster way to get back to bed!
Now Dad has to somehow find where he even was.
Oh, there's a flaming zombie down there.
Oh, jeez.
[Third gamer:] Just head toward your mountain, Dad.
[Dad:] Dad truly hates the skeletons. He really hates the skeletons.
[Female gamer:] Dad, don't forget to take your bed with you.
[Dad:] Oh, the bed. That's right.
[New gamer:] Remember Dad, once you get a shield,
you'll basically be almost invincible to skeletons if you time the shield.
[Dad:] Dad put this house in the worst place, it's so hard to get into.
But Dad made a secret entrance right here.
Look at that. Dad made a secret entrance.
And then Dad just has to dig his way into his house.
That's smart, Dad's smart, Dad's a pro Minecrafter. [giggle]
Okay, bed- I take you.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Okay, Dad is armed with bed and dirt.
Dad should take door too, while he's at it.
My gosh. Sure is taking a long time to beat up a door with a clump of dirt.
Great. Good to know.
[Female gamer:] Remember guys, keep the chat clean.
[Dad:] Oh, there's Dad's stuff! [screams]
Dad's stuff all is shining and sparkling, waiting for Dad.
You're so good, stuff. Thank you for waiting for Dad.
Dad loves you.
Ooh, into the abyss. Ooh, hi fish!
[Female gamer:] Remember, when we're in here, we're only answering Dad's questions.
[Dad:] Okay, so, Dad will go back to where he started making his new house,
and he will put bed down so he can sleep there.
And we'll put some torches up and we'll make a campsite. That's fun.
Let's go camping. Camping with Dad.
Craft camping.
"Have you been taking care of yourself?" Justin asks.
"Please remember to take breaks and shower." Not necessary.
[Dad screams]
Something's coming after Dad.
Well, Dad has his sword back, you jerk. So watch your mouth.
Dad's stuff. Okay. Dad will put bed...
here...
That's nice. Dad will put a torch down...
Let's make a little temporary home here.
Let's light up the situation for the night time.
So we can stay safe.
Okay.
Looks good. Yeah sure, why not?
Dad made a little temporary home.
So maybe this is good enough for now, and Dad can do more of this later.
Thank you for everyone in Discord who helped Dad.
[Discord users thank and congratulate Dad]
[Dad:] Thank you.
[Male gamer:] Goodbye, Dad!
[Dad:] Bye.
[Male gamer:] We love you!
[Diane - Dad ft. Yelle] ♪Dad is trying as hard as he can♪
[Dad, singing and clapping] to play the video game Minecraft.