(upbeat music)
- Hi everyone, I'm Moose,
and just when you thought it was safe
to go back in the water,
we're diving into the deep end to slay some more sharks.
(screaming) (suspenseful music)
(water splashes)
Sharks are deadlier than most cinematic slashers combined,
and they just so happen to be real,
which is why these silent killers are so satisfying
in survival horror movies, like '47 Meters Down: Uncaged,'
the sequel to 2017's claustrophobic chiller
is coming to theaters August 16,
sending four swimmers on a terrifying trek
through a ruined underwater city,
surrounded by sharks and running out of air.
So we've partnered with '47 Meters Down: Uncaged'
to seek out some surefire methods
to help you survive a shark movie.
Take a deep breath, climb into your cage,
and try to keep your blood inside your body.
Because this is 'How to Kill Killer Sharks.'
(upbeat music)
Now, we are not going to cover Sharknados here
because, well, they're a whole 'nother can of worms,
worthy of their own How to Kill episode,
and unless you've got access to light saber chainsaws,
time travel, and a nuclear-powered cyborg Tara Reid,
you're pretty much screwed.
And since we've already covered
the titular terror from the 'Jaws' franchise,
today, we're going to give Bruce a break
and focus on his less famous brethren.
Spielberg's seminal classic didn't just give birth
to the modern blockbuster,
it also inspired an entire school of imitators,
many of which took a cue from Jaws
and disposed of their deadly sharks with explosions.
- And of course, we just thought, like everyone else,
that these stupid sharks would bite anything.
(gun fires)
(explosion blasts)
- Let's start with 'The Last Shark,'
A.K.A. 'Great White,' A.K.A. 'L'ultimo squalo,'
(explosion blasts)
(screaming)
A.K.A. the movie so similar to 'Jaws'
that Universal successfully sued the crap out of it.
This Italian knockoff hits all the same beats:
peaceful resort town, authority figure
who refuses to shut down the beaches,
terrible-looking fake shark.
- Jesus.
- Although, credit where it's due, 'Jaws' never had a scene
where the shark eats a guy hanging off a helicopter,
(screaming)
then eats the helicopter.
(suspenseful music)
That wouldn't happen until 'Jaws 2.'
(suspenseful music)
As for the explosive finale,
where our hero feeds his dead friend to the fish
and detonates the explosives attached to the body,
I'm a big fan.
Look, I am a proud organ donor,
but if my body can't provide life-saving transplants
for people in need, then you better believe my second choice
is strapping my corpse with explosives,
and blowing up a shark with it.
- Damn you!
(suspenseful music)
(explosion blasts)
- 'The Last Shark' was anything but.
The sharksploitation genre endured throughout the decades,
and more than a few films end
in a similarly explosive fashion.
Still, onscreen sharks have evolved
just a little more than the real deal have,
like the genetically modified monstrosities
in 'Deep Blue Sea.'
These massive makos shocked the world
when they snacked on Sam Jackson,
but they met a grisly end thanks to explosives,
electricity, and then a combination of both.
(gun fires)
(electricity zaps) (grunts)
(suspenseful music) (explosion blasts)
Blowing up the beast is a sure fire way to slay a shark,
but if you don't wanna risk playing with dynamite
when you're on the open seas,
you can always turn it into a frozen fish stick.
Sharks are utterly deadly in their aquatic element,
but, unless you're in a Junji Ito comic,
you're pretty safe on dry land.
That is, until some brain genius slams some genes together
and creates a human-shark hybrid that can walk on two legs.
Now, on rare occasions,
these man-made monsters end up helping humankind.
- You know, this saving the world business
really works up an appetite.
- [Together] Jawsome!
- But in most cases, getting spliced with a shark
sends you on a very unrighteous path.
Both Marvel and DC have multiple shark-themed villains.
King Shark even showed up on 'The Flash'
to completely blow the CW's CG budget,
and believe me, he looked way better than 'Sharkman.'
In this straight to SYFY classic,
a father saves his son from a terminal illness
by transforming him into a sharkboy.
Once he's all grown up,
the monster goes on a poorly-edited murder frenzy.
But the chimera meets a chilling demise
when our hero sprays gallons
of liquid nitrogen down his maw,
freezing and shattering the spliced-up Sharkman.
(screaming)
(explosion blasts) - [Man] Die!
- Now, mutant shark people are pretty scary,
but they're not something you should really worry about
the next time you head to the beach.
Just make sure you pack your shark repellent.
(suspenseful music)
As we all know, the Dark Knight does not
have any superpowers in the traditional sense,
but Batman is prepared for every eventuality.
(water splashing) (fists punching)
That's why the Caped Crusader always keeps a few cans
of oceanic repellent spray handy in the Bat-Copter.
After all, you never know when a shark stuffed
with dynamite is gonna latch onto your leg.
- [Batman] My leg!
- The wobbly rubber menace brushes off
the Batman's devastating blows,
but when Robin passes him the official
Shark Repellent Bat Spray, the fish falls,
and then blows up for good measure.
(suspenseful music)
(explosion blasts)
This scene is the first thing people point to
when talking about how campy
and unrealistic the '66 Batman series was,
but the shark repellent actually exists.
(dramatic music)
(laughs)
I don't know!
(beeps)
Today, you can purchase your very own Anti-Shark 100 spray.
And reviews are kind of mixed as to how well it works,
so if you find yourself facing against, say,
an ancient megalodon, I would advise
against testing it in the field,
because your best bet to kill it
is to make this thing bleed.
(suspenseful music)
'The Meg' is one of the most
underrated monster movies of the modern age.
It's so good I watched it on a plane twice!
Now, these giant, prehistoric super-sharks
known as megalodons are technically extinct,
so your odds of running into one are pretty damn low,
but if you hang around the hidden depths
of the Marianas Trench,
you might be lucky enough to run into one.
This mini megalodon is the shark
of Jason Statham's nightmares.
But our heroes are surprisingly successful
at poisoning this prehistoric predator
with barely a moment to spare.
(jaw chomps) (suspenseful music)
Which brings us to the biggest shock in the movie.
At the moment of triumph,
when our heroes are celebrating their huge catch,
an even more massive monster leaps out of the water
and feasts on its fallen brethren.
The ole Transporter knows there's only one way
to sink that bad boy for good.
He carves open its gullet with his cute little submersible,
then, as the mortally wounded Meg leaps above the waves,
he plunges a spear through its eye,
crunching through the cerebral cortex.
Now, there is a lot of blood inside of that bad boy,
which proved irresistible
to the Meg's more minuscule modern descendants,
who proceed to chow down.
(suspenseful music)
Now look, I realize you're probably not gonna be an expert
undersea rescue person guy like Jason Statham.
And if you're trapped on a rock, or drifting out to sea,
you're gonna have to improvise.
(soft electronic music)
In 'The Shallows,' when surfer Blake Lively
finds herself stranded on a rock,
with a massive chunk taken out her leg--
- [Batman] My leg!
- She's stuck with little more than her surfboard
and some jewelry to stave off the shark that stalks her.
But as the high tide threatens her hiding spot,
she makes a desperate move for a nearby buoy,
But as the buoy sinks, she straps onto a chain,
and plummets down to the depths below,
with the shark in hot pursuit.
At the last second, she jukes,
snapping that shark's ankles, if it had ankles,
and the great white's momentum impales it
on a pile of rebar.
(suspenseful music)
(shark thuds)
Now, the situation in 'The Shallows' is far from ideal,
but at least there was plenty of oxygen available.
That is not going to be the case if you're trapped,
say, 47 meters down.
The upcoming sequel, '47 Meters Down: Uncaged,'
is looking even more intense
than the 2017 film that preceded it.
And as the title promises,
the film is bringing the aquatic action out of the cage
and into a deadly underwater labyrinth
with toothy terror around every corner,
The ruined city in '47 Meters Down: Uncaged'
give our four unsuspecting teens
a lot more room to move around,
compared to the cramped caged corners of the first movie,
but that means even more hiding spots
for the deadliest species of sharks to stalk their prey,
as they desperately gasp for breath
while the air supply slowly trickles down.
'47 Meters Down: Uncaged' will be unleashed
on theaters August 16th,
the latest in a long legacy of horror films
that play with our fear of what lurks
in the darkest depths of the ocean.
There's only so much a human can do
in the face of 400 million years of evolution,
but that doesn't mean you can't go down swinging.