Please like and subscribe to our channel
and click the bell icon to get new video updates.
Prologue.
I've always, I'm from Philadelphia,
but I've always wanted to be
like one of those ancient Greek heroes.
I've just never really had the body for it.
But my twin brother Mike has, like in high school,
when he made the varsity basketball team,
I was doing varsity model UN.
In little league and baseball,
he bat at second or third, I bat at 13th, on our dad's team.
(audience laughing)
Like I think it was probably even to the point where,
I mean, my brother's always been really helpful
and generous with his athletic gift.
Like I think when we were sperm,
he probably said something like,
"Look, you're not going to make it there in time.
Just latch onto one of my buff flagella
and I'll take you to victory."
So last June on my birthday, I turned 31,
and I realized my time with this awkward unathletic body
was running out.
So I signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon.
And I posted about it on Facebook,
a lot of people were like, "That's awesome,"
but people who really knew me are like,
"Steve, are you sure?"
And it was great in the summer because I'm a teacher,
and I get my, yeah, I get my summers off,
so I could run whenever I wanted.
But then the school year came, and like, I wanted to sleep.
And I have asthma.
So...
November came.
And I got up, got dressed for the run, went down,
and I was like, I'm going to give this a go.
And I wasn't in the best shape,
but I was more ready than I would ever be.
And I was running with a friend, we were in the last pack,
the slowest pack, and she said, "You need a mantra."
And she said, hers was, "My mind is strong,
my heart is strong, my body is strong."
And I'm Catholic, so mine was,
"Dear God, please let me not die, amen."
And so I started running,
it's going great for the first little bit,
but then I hit like mile two.
And...
There's this guy with a sign on his back that says,
two knee replacements, and he's like flying past me.
But at mile six, my brother comes out to join me,
to run with me, well, I'm running, he's walking.
And he's giving me advice,
and the way the Philly marathon works is they have this,
the marathon and the half marathon on the same day.
So we get to mile 13,
and there's all these people and everybody's really excited,
and he's like, "Do you want to keep going?
You don't have to. You can just get the half medal."
I'm like, "No, I'm going to keep going."
And I go like 10 more feet, and there's no one with me.
Like it feels like I'm in last place.
And so I start running past the art museum,
and I get to about mile 17.
And I see this van with blinking lights.
And I ask someone what that is, and they say,
"Oh, that's the lag bus.
That picks up people who are running a pace
under a seven hour marathon.
So like, I get to mile 20,
and my legs are like broken down.
And just about, as I hit mile 21 and hit the home stretch,
down towards the Philly Art Museum,
a guy in a tricycle pulls up next to me and he says,
"Steve, right?
You are now officially the last person in the marathon."
I'm like, Greek heroes always have a tragic flaw.
So I really want to give up.
But then I think like,
about four or five miles down the road, you know,
maybe I'm not a Greek hero.
Maybe I'm more like, and I'm trying to think
why we idolize Rocky so much in Philadelphia.
And it's because he's dumb.
And he just took a lot of a lot of pain and a lot of abuse.
And I am in a lot of pain,
and this feels like the dumbest thing I've ever done.
But I walk up to the guy in the van, I'm like,
"I have seven hours, right?"
And he says, "Yeah, technically."
And I'm like, "All right, I'm going to keep going."
And he's like three feet behind me
and I'm struggling to move.
And I get to mile 22, and I get to mile 23.
And there's a cop there and I ask,
"Can you please pull him over?"
At mile 24 and a half, I hit the seven hour mark.
And a van from the cleanup crew pulls in front of me.
And the lag bus driver pulls up next to me and he says,
"You're fine, just keep going. I'll get him."
So I make it to mile 25 and 26,
and at that point there's 0.2 left.
And the announcer, who I thought was kind of a dick
about it, said, "Though he is well over the allotted time,"
"the last person who did not make any side routes,
we checked,
to finish the 2015 Philadelphia Marathon is Steve Clark."
And the mayor comes up to me and he shakes my hand.
He's like, "I just wanted to stay till the bitter end."
And he gets out of there.
Epilogue.
Philly is not experiencing a great era in its sports teams.
And though I would never be like my brother,
never be this Greek athletic hero,
and though I had just lost the marathon
to everyone in Philadelphia,
it still felt like a win to me.
Thank you.