bwah (aka a noise), hey guys, it's me, Mac, on a random weekend
I want to make kind of a serious video where I just sit here and talk about some stuff
And I feel like a very unorthodox video like this isn't deserving of a regular day
So the weekend (haha) no fancy, fancy set up, my room's a mess
That's another story we're not gonna get into.
For years I have come to notice that people believe that the color of my skin, the size of my body and my sexuality
do not match, that the fact that I am a thicc (typer= for those who dont know thicc means thick) black man
means that I cannot possibly be gay. And the problem is I used to believe that too.
It was like two years ago where I'd accepted the fact that I was gay, not because I was denying my sexuality,
but because of the fact that I thought I wasn't allowed to be gay. As we have all come to learn
media is a very big influence in America (me: surprise surprise)
and in multiple countries as well. It tends to influence the thoughts of many individuals
and I am one of those individuals. For years of TV and movies, whenever the topic of homosexuality
or the gay community was brought up, the main characters were always
attractive, white males that were either
really fit and muscular or really skinny. And all the, like, thicc and overweight men were seen as creeps and weirdos and everybody else didn't fit that mobile
were just thrown into the shadow, which is what made me believe that is what made a gay male: not just your sexuality
but your look. And, because I didn't fit that look, there was no possible way I could call myself gay.
Now, I know this might sound quite ridiculous to a lot of you guys, but I promise you out there
there are people that look just like me that think the exact same way.
Representation in Media does matter.
That's the main concept of what I'm trying to say. To have me go
so many years believing that I cannot be something because of the way I was born, says a lot about
the way Media is shaped.
A few months ago, I saw a quote that said "be the person your younger self needed", and I've taken that so much to heart.
The reason I am pushing more content, the reason why I'm stepping up my youtube game is because I am trying to be that
representation my younger self needed years ago
and that representation hundreds of people need now. There is nobody in the media
that is exactly like me, yet there are hundreds of people that relate a lot to me.
Why is that? I'm making this video to tell you guys that I'm not doing youtube just for myself anymore.
I love what I'm doing and I enjoy what I'm doing
and there's still a part of it that I am doing it for myself, but now I have a drive.
I want to be a voice.
I have the opportunity to become that symbol for all the thick, gay, black males and
all the people that just feel like they don't belong, to tell them "don't feel like you can't be something just because of who you are".
As most of you guys have come to notice, I am not in school anymore, at the moment. Financial issues came up and
I had to drop the school that I was currently in. For a while,
I did question "Why me? Why was I put in this situation?
Why am I here?". And now I don't just see the situation as a sign
but a blessing. There is somebody out there that is trying to push me towards the path
I'm supposed to go down in life, and I truly feel like, now, I am finally finding that path.
And it is such a relief!
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna cry.
For a while, people have been speaking about the need for diversity in media. Now it has just come to the point that it seems like Hollywood
is trying to shove an agenda down our throats and we need to fight back on that.
I mean, sure, you can point out a handful of
successful, gay, black males in the Media
but that is not diversity. Seeing a gay black male appear in Media once every five years
is not equality, it is just them throwing us a bone to shut us up.
I have experienced *pause* a significant amount of
ignorance and racism inside the gay community.
It is a silent truth that nobody seems to talk about cuz we're too busy fighting for equality for our sexuality as a whole
that we tend to overlook the lack of equality in our community alone. I tend to be seen as a sexual object
before a human being in a lot of men's eyes
I've gotten quite a handful of weird looks from other gay men, hurtful hateful and ignorant comments and questions that may come off
harmless when you say them
but, when I hear the same racial comments,
and the same racial questions over and over and over again, it starts to take a toll on me. To wrap this entire video up
I'm tired.
I'm tired
of having to feel like I have to hide who I am.
Because of the color of my fucking skin,
of feeling like I have to be quiet and obey, and, if I speak up and talk out of turn, all that's gonna do is make people
scream at me even louder just to shut me up, to try to prove that I am wrong about what I'm saying
so they can go back into their ignorant truth
tired of feeling like I have to work twice as hard as the average, gay, white male
just to receive the same amount of respect and the same amount of praise.
A human being should never have to feel this way.
I am not staying quiet anymore.
I am gay
I am thick and I am black, and I am proud of that fact.
And that's all I have to say.
Because I need that,
truly need that and I truly need every single one of you guys that are watching this video.
So thank you so, so much for watching and that is all.
Thank you. (me: I am so sorry if anyone must feel this way for things they cannot help and i hope things get better for all)