- Let's be honest, you could kick the shit out of me.
Let's be honest, you definitely could.
- I could hurt you. (Josh laughs)
(upbeat TV music)
- Hey, guys, welcome to Stir Crazy,
the only thing stopping me from eating a tub of ice cream
in the middle of the afternoon again.
You know my guest today as an entrepreneur,
an actor from "Fantastic Four", "Sin City",
and her recurrent series, "L.A.'s Finest".
It's Jessica Alba.
Hey, Jessica! - Hey,
hi! - It's good to see you.
How you doing?
- I'm good, how are you doing?
- I'm doing alright. - Not eating ice cream, I see.
- I know, you're keeping me from the tub again.
You're so obnoxious that way. (Jessica laughs)
I was hoping at least- - Sorry.
- I was hoping at least during a pandemic,
you might look like a mess.
Like you might like, "Oh, Jessica's let herself go.
"I'm actually not gonna feel-"
- I have a little bit.
- Oh, stop it.
Stop it (laughs). - Well, you know,
I did a little hair and makeup for you today,
but... - Okay, I appreciate that.
I have 12 pages of questions about "Honey".
Do you have that much time today?
Are you ready?
- No. (Josh laughs)
- I, or how can you possibly
have 12 pages though? - No, I don't, I don't.
I've been watching your YouTube videos lately.
You've become a YouTuber.
Like, you've like, you've like, really done this.
- You know, thank you.
- One of the things I like that you've been doing is ASMR.
Have you become like an expert in ASMR?
Like, can you, what's your favorite sound you've discovered?
(tapping teeth)
And this one.
(rubbing palms)
It's a good one. - That is good.
Wait, can you, can you detect this here?
Let's see how you are at detecting things, okay?
(scissors swishing)
What is that?
Are you doing this?
(scissors swishing)
Oh, scissors. - I got a problem.
- Ooh, that's good. - That's good.
- Nice, that is good. (Josh laughs)
- I do admire your willingness to put yourself out there
on the Tik and the Tok, on the TikTok now.
- Oh, mm-hm, see- - I feel like 90 years old.
- You're old when you say that.
- I know, I feel 90
when I say it. - Because they don't call it
the Tik and the Tok. (Josh laughs)
- Did you, were you dragged into Tik-ing and Tok-ing,
or are you enjoying your TikTok-ing?
- The kids were encouraging me, and I just said,
"You know, are people gonna think I'm like a creep?
"Like, is this creep status?
"'Cause everyone's a child."
And I think I was one of the first adults to join TikTok.
Not kidding, I'm not kidding.
I was like, "Is it weird?"
And they were like, "No, it'll be fun!
"Just don't be cringy."
And I was like, "I don't know how to not be cringy."
(Josh laughing) Like, I don't know how to not.
I'm just going to be,
so can we embrace that? - I only have one mode,
it's cringe mode.
That's my mode (laughs). - Cringy.
I'm gonna be cringy.
And so, I don't know, I like it,
and it makes me giggle, man.
It's funny.
- What's a good starter TikTok move for me
if I wanna get into the TikTok-ing?
What's, do you have a good piece of advice for me?
Should I...
By your face, I'm sensing you're like,
"Don't even bother, dude."
- (hums) I mean, you should learn how to do the "Whoa".
- What's that? I don't even, I've never heard of that.
Is that a thing? (upbeat TV music)
- It's like those, this.
So you go like that.
- Like... - But, but stop.
You have to like, boom, you have to hit it.
There you go.
But the other way, other arm.
There you go.
- I look really cool when I do that.
That's...
- You're very cool.
You can like, as if you're tossing an invisible ball
up in the air. - Uh-huh?
- Like that, and then you catch the ball,
and then you slam the arm down like that.
- Okay, let's try it, okay?
- Okay, ready? - Three, two, one.
(fist thumps)
(Jessica laughs)
(Josh laughs)
- Yeah, no, not that one. - No?
Ugh, I feel like, I feel like
the saddest old man ever. - It's okay.
(Josh laughs)
(both laugh)
- Congratulations are in order.
"L.A.'s Finest" is now in its second season.
- Yes! - It's a cool show in that
it's a little bit back to basics for you.
I mean, one of your breakthrough roles,
I always think back to "Dark Angel".
- Right. - When you do
like, a physical role like this, an action kind of a role,
do you go back in time?
Do you call upon some skills you developed back then,
or what? - Yeah,
I mean, why I even wanted to do this
is because I got to do action.
You know, I've worn sort of the,
the hat of a founder of a company for like, eight years.
And so, I'm in endless back-to-back meetings
about everything from supply chain, operations.
- You make it sound so glamorous.
- It is not glamorous. (Josh laughs)
It's, you know.
And I just needed a break. - Yeah.
What's the key for you to looking tough on screen?
I feel like if I try to look tough,
(Jessica laughs) I just end up like,
I ended up like squinting and looking like
I'm like, losing my vision.
Like, what's your game face
look like? - Or like, constipated?
- Yeah, like...
(Jessica chuckles) Like, that's not,
that's not gonna intimidate anybody.
- I think you can't really think about it too much.
Maybe, maybe that's my problem?
Maybe I... - No, that's your gift,
you're not thinking about it.
You just let it happen. - Really?
I don't know, I don't know if I'm
(laughing) that threatening though.
- No, you are.
Let's be honest. - Oh, good!
- You could kick the shit out of me.
Let's be honest, you definitely could.
- I could hurt you. (Josh laughs)
I could, I could hurt you, yeah.
- I feel like that was- - I could take you down.
I could take you down. - I feel like that
was a threat.
I'm suddenly happy we're doing this remotely.
- It's facts, #facts. - Facts (laughs)?
I have some provocative would you rather questions for you?
You ready? (upbeat TV music)
Would you rather go on an audition every single day
of your life, or never work again?
- Never work again.
You learn more about yourself whilst getting rejected,
you know? - (laughs) While feeling
like a piece of crap.
- Yeah. - Would you rather
run out of toilet paper or wine?
- Toilet paper?
- Yeah, I mean, let's be real,
it's and essential. - Take a shower.
- Yeah (laughs).
Would you rather sit next to a crying baby
dressed it as an adult on a plane,
or sit next to a crying adult in a diaper on a plane?
- Crying baby dressed as an adult, all day long.
I never wanna be next to an adult in a diaper
ever. - Yep, that's...
It raises- - I mean, it's fine,
it's fine if they wear like, their clothing over.
So like, "Shh."
but if it's like- - Visible on the outside?
No, you don't want that.
That's, that's dark stuff.
Would you rather have to always wear the Sue Storm wig,
or your "Sin City" leather chaps?
- The wig is easy.
I could do the wig.
The chaps are just not that comfortable.
- Would you rather always be on the verge of a sneeze,
or continually non-stop be passing gas?
- Oh, jeez. - Now, it can be silent.
It doesn't need to be a loud passing of gas.
- Oh, I don't, they're both so terrible.
Probably verge of the sneeze.
- Yeah, because the judgment around you, I suppose,
when you're constantly
passing gas. - I mean, who wants
to go through the world just like, funking it up?
No, thank you. - Yeah, well, I can tell you
some stories, trust me.
Yeah. - Mm.
- This is a random switch, but I'm curious,
are you the type of person that keeps any keepsakes
from the jobs?
- No, no. - Really?
- I should though. - Yeah.
- Yeah, you know what I stupidly did?
When I was younger, I had so many custom,
amazing red carpet dresses, and I donated all of them.
'Cause I was like, I was always all about charity,
and I'm like, "Oh my-" - (laughs) I love that this
is your big regret (laughs). - I'm so mad!
'Cause I'm like, I should've just given the charity money-
- Oh, I see. - And saved the damn dress.
- Yeah, at least you qualified it.
I thought you were going really evil,
and being like, "Screw the charity!
"I want my pretty dress! (laughs)"
- Dammit!
- Should we play some classic charades, Jessica?
What do you think?
- Sure, why not? (upbeat TV music)
Okay. (clock ticking)
What are you?
You're a bird, you're a bird!
A bird, you're swimming, dolphin, Flipper!
(bell dings)
- Yes. - Nice.
Okay, my turn.
Oh, okay. (comic whoosh)
(clock ticking) - Two words.
Movie.
Five, hand, two hands?
Second word is hand.
Second word is 10? - No, you were, you were-
- Second word is hand,
second word is hand, okay. (Josh laughs)
"Idle Hands"!
(bell dings) - Yes (laughs).
I didn't, I had no idea how I was gonna do idle.
That's, that's a hard one.
(both laugh) That is, that is.
It's like a driving, idling in the car.
I don't know. - Yeah, yeah.
Let's do another one for one more round, okay?
Okay, cool, ready? - Yup.
(clock ticking) One word,
it's a movie.
Fights. (Josh humming)
Tennis?
Strike?
Strike force Delta team?
What are you, you're making an X, you're Zorro.
You're...
Strength,
a butcher.
You're a butcher.
You're Leatherface, butcher boy, butcher...
What was it, what was it?
- "Machete".
- "Machete" (laughs)!
(Jessica laughing) Danny Trejo is cursing my name
right now, dammit!
It's always good to catch up with you.
I have two more hours of questions of "Honey".
Can you spare the time?
Are you good? - No, no.
- Okay, well- - I'm good.
Alright, peace!
- Things were going so well.
(upbeat TV music)