So, the top 10 things
that you might be doing
that are turning women off
and in no particular order are as follows.
Number one, shitty attitude.
So, if you have a victim mentality attitude
that is a major turn off.
What that translates to for a woman
is that you can't handle life.
And if you can't handle life on your own
then how is she going to be able
to trust you to handle life
when you're in a relationship
and life throws crap at you.
Because life is going to throw crap at you
that's just part of being a human
and how you handle it
and your attitude toward it
will reveal a lot about your character.
So, that's number one
is a shitty victim mentality attitude.
Number two,
not handling shit tests well
in fact, failing shit tests is number two.
And again, these are not in any particular order
but number two is failing shit test.
So, if for example,
you are always agreeing with her
instead of standing up for
your own opinions respectfully
but also with unwavering confidence
then she is going to lose respect for you.
And if you don't handle the shit test well
or at all and you just walk away
then she's just going to look at you
and think that you're weak.
And again, don't know how to handle a woman,
which she needs you to be able to handle.
Number three,
insecure body language.
When you have insecure body language
a woman will be turned off
before she even actually meets you.
So, what does insecure
body language look like?
It looks like poor posture,
which can come from gaming
or too much time on the computer.
But it also is a sign of low self-esteem
and insecurity and depression
and sometimes even mental health issues
none of which are a turn-on to a woman of course.
So, the number one thing
you can do with body language
is to stand up straight
shoulders back chin up
and walk with purpose
like purposeful strides.
You don't have to walk fast
but just long, confident strides.
So, that's another thing that you can do
to increase the alpha
confident body language.
Now number four,
bragging or boasting.
Women are really, really subtle
and we pick up on all kinds of
very, very subtle hints unlike men do.
So, if you're going to boast or brag
you want to make sure you're doing it so subtly
that you don't think she's going
to actually even pick up on it.
So, for example if you say
you know, you're proud of
your job or you're proud of your car,
you're proud of your accomplishments
or whatever you're proud of.
It's okay to slip it into the conversation
as long as you're not actually saying it
directly in order to impress her.
So, if you're just trying to
impress her by saying it
then that's actually going to be a turn off.
But if it comes up naturally
or somewhat naturally
seemingly organically in a conversation
then it's not a turn off
but it's also revealing evidence
of your accomplishment
or it could be a social status,
it could be a financial status,
it could be physical or health status
whatever it is that
you feel that might be
something that would be impressive to her.
You must find a way to
put it into the conver...
Put it into the conversation
in a way that isn't obvious.
So, if you have a really great job
then you can ask her about her job
or what she likes about her job
and then that's a natural way to say yeah,
I've been at my job for such a long time.
I really enjoy it, they really appreciate me
because they you know, I get such great bonuses
or whatever.
If you work for yourself
then you can say you know, good for you
that you enjoy working for yourself
or good for you that you really like your boss
or too bad that you don't like your boss.
That's why I really love working for myself
because I’m you know,
I’m in charge of my own hours
and my I have unlimited income
because I decide how much
I’m going to work or whatever.
So, you kind of get the idea
that if the conversation is about her
and you know how
the particular topic relates to her
then its natural for you to be able
to add your own status
in that particular situation.
And there's other ways like
if actually you have something
that you're really proud of
but you're not sure how to work it
into the conversation
write a comment below let me know what it is
and I'll give you some ideas.
So, that's, I think that was number four wasn't it?
Number five,
number five was a little bit like number two
in failing shit tests by always agreeing
but in and of itself
is always agreeing with her
that's such a turn off.
A woman wants to know
that you have an opinion
because she doesn't always think
she's going to be right about things.
If you're always agreeing with her
then she can't trust
that she can lean on you or rely on you
when she doesn't know what to do
about something in life.
Or when you're struggling together as a team
with something she needs to trust that
you can actually have an opinion of your own
that might actually get you both
to a better place in life
because you have confidence in your own opinions
and ideas and solutions
and values and the whole thing.
So, if you are constantly agreeing with her
then that's just going to come across as weakness.
So, what you need to do is to find things
that you actually disagree on
and then have conversations about that
not necessarily arguments.
At some point in time you are going to argue
but you want to at least
be able to have debates
that are healthy about the pros and cons
of different ideas and philosophies
and just opinions about
things in life in general.
So, if you can do that then that's
going to be more impressive to her
than if you agree with everything she says.
Number six,
having an inauthentic personality
and this again also ties in
with always agreeing with her.
If you are inauthentic
because you are just trying to be
the type of person you think she wants
then you're going to have to play that role
for the rest of your life with her.
And it's not going to feel good
and she's going to sense it
because women are very, very intuitive
and we can sense these things.
And there's going to be something that
just doesn't fit and feel right for her
and there's going to be an incongruence
with who you are protraying
and who you actually are.
So, you will also be a lot happier
if you just be who you are
and what that essentially
looks like in the real world is doing the things
that you enjoy doing unapologetically.
So, you know if you're a gamer,
great be a gamer.
If you are an athlete
great, be an athlete.
Don't try to downplay who you really are
and what your interests truly are
for someone else.
There will be some happy medium
and some common ground in there
for you to be able to be compatible
and if there isn't then
she's not the right person for you anyway
and it's better to find that out
sooner than later.
So, be who you truly are
don't compromise on your personality
or your interests for anyone else
for anyone else, all right.
So, that's number six. So, number seven
again, lack of opinions.
You need to be able to
have your own opinions
about pretty much everything.
So, the best way to practice
having an opinion is
within your friendship groups
or even within your peers at work
if you work with people.
And to instead of just agreeing with
or even not even agreeing with
but just sitting back apathetically
and not contributing.
Start thinking about what
people are actually talking about
and really process that within yourself
and decide which things you
actually truly agree with
and which things you might
choose not to agree with.
And the best thing you can do
is practice speaking up
about things you disagree with
and it may be challenging at first
because a lot of times
if you're struggling with meeting women
or just in general if you're shy
it's because... It's not because
it's also exacerbated
by our behaviors of wanting to please others
and not create discourse.
So, what you need to do
is to start speaking up
about things you disagree with
when it's not as important as it is
when you're with a woman.
Because you need to be practiced
and able to disagree with a woman
and have your own opinions
when it counts like you can't be like,
oh, shit I’m going to...
I don't agree with this or I don't even know
what I actually agree with
and don't agree with,
which again makes you weak.
Women do not like weak men
not the kind of women that you want
let me tell you not the
kind of women you want.
Number eight,
now this is a big one.
So, this again kind of
comes back to self-esteem
but number eight is you think
she's out of your league.
Now, one of the things you have to remember
is that we tend to date people
who are about our same level,
but women tend to want to date someone
who's at least at her level
or a little bit higher
at least perception wise.
So, that doesn't mean you actually
are better than her in any way.
I mean the better is subjective
but for the purpose of this video
you don't want to be acting
like she's better than you.
What you have to do
this is how you can handle this.
What you need to do is remember
that all women no matter
how gorgeous and even sometimes
when they're specifically hot and gorgeous
all women have insecurities.
And there's something about her body
or her personality
or something about herself
that she doesn't like and
that she's insecure about
you just have to remember.
And this is absolutely true almost all women
any woman that you're going to be interested in
maybe the J Lo of the world are insecure.
But any woman that you're probably
interested in is going to have an insecurity
and it's going to also have flaws.
You must remember that women have flaws
not just physical flaws
but personality flaws
mental spiritual whatever.
Like, we have flaws and you need
to be able to believe that
otherwise it's going to show up
again in your interactions.
And if you don't believe
you're good enough for her
she's definitely not going to believe
that you're good enough for her
because it's contagious,
so contagious.
that reminds me of another joke
anyways, it's contagious.
So, how do you deal with this?
You just got to remember
and go into every interaction remembering
and believing and knowing that there's
something about her that isn't perfect.
So, when you do that then
you're not going to start
putting her on a pedestal
that's the worst thing you can do
at the beginning of any relationship
and really truly end a relationship.
Unless you're both putting each other
on a pedestal
within a relationship, it's not healthy
and it's just going to make you look again weak
and needy and not good enough.
If you don't think you're good enough
she's not going to think you're good enough
so that's not good no es bueno.
Okay, next number eight,
not knowing what to say.
So, you need to be able
to carry conversations.
And I did another three videos recently
actually where I give you 36 questions
to build intimacy, Arthur Eron's 36 questions
and they are great
for keeping a conversation going
and learning more about
the person that you're with.
So, those are some really good tips
just the tip for
being able to keep a conversation going
and the thing is
you need to not be too worried
about awkward silences.
A silence is only awkward if you feel awkward
sometimes silences are comfortable
they can be comfortable silences.
You don't have to fill every gap
with a chit chat or conversation
and another tip for conversation is just about
asking for questions that are open-ended like
do you like pizza is a closed-ended question.
What kind of pizza is your favorite pizza?
Or where is the favorite best pizza
you've had in the city?
Things like that.
So, where there's more than
a yes or no answer
at the end of that, that you can expect.
And again, don't be nervous.
If you are nervous
well, I know it's easy to say don't be nervous.
If you are nervous
then try to focus on your senses.
Like, what can you see? What can you smell?
what can you know, taste, feel? La ,la, la, la.
And that should get you grounded again.
So, that's one thing you can do there.
And then number 10,
the last thing that is
a major turn off to women
is when you fail to make eye contact.
So, if you are constantly looking away
and you can't maintain eye contact
that is again a sign of insecurity,
weakness or a serial killer,
like no one wants a shreddies killer.
So, what you need to be able to do is
maintain eye contact
for about 80% of the time.
So, you're looking at her
for about 80% of the time
you might glance away
when you're thinking about something
and then you're going to you know,
maintain eye contact.
Don't be staring her down like this,
that's not good no.
But you need to be able to show
and maintain eye contact
because that shows confidence
and it also brings her
into the intimate fold
of your conversation.