well hey my friend if you are struggling with life's stickier issues want to grow
in your relationship with God and become everything you are created to be then
you are in the right place in case we haven't met yet my name is Kris Reece
and if this sounds like something you can benefit from go ahead and click the
subscribe end notification button so you don't miss a thing today we're going to
talk about how to set biblical boundaries with difficult people
we all have at least one difficult person in our lives you know that one
person who presses your buttons and then leaves you feeling like you're the
problem maybe it's your sister-in-law who's got
certain ideas about how you're supposed to behave and when you don't meet her
expectations she goes right to your husband and he takes a toll on you
emotionally and puts a strain on your marriage when all you're trying to do is
just be yourself or perhaps your difficult person is your own mother who
uses Scripture to manipulate you into behaving a way that pleases her but
leaves you feeling like an abused five-year-old all you want to do is love
your mother but live your life look perhaps your difficult person is a boss
a friend or maybe even your own child so what do you do when walking away is not
an option well you protect yourself by setting boundaries and I am always
surprised to see the number of Christians who feel bad about setting
boundaries with people even for bad behavior
yes setting boundaries can be uncomfortable especially if you've never
done it before but I want you to take this opportunity to thank God for this
difficult person in your life as they are prompting you to learn this valuable
life skill step number one be prayerful look I realize this may seem like a
Christian cop-out but you are going to need God's guidance and strength as you
venture out into this new territory sit with God until you have finished
emptying yourself of the thoughts and feelings that you've been struggling
with then when you have found comfort and security in him pray for his
guidance James 1:5 says that if any of you lacks wisdom you should ask God who
may even be surprised to hear that God has you there in that relationship for a
reason step number 2 established what you want it's likely that open to this
point you have been you've given in to the opinions and expectations of others
it's time that you determine what you want God created
you to be very unique and if you find it difficult having desires and preferences
outside of the opinion of someone else it may be time to get with a good
Christian counselor who can help you work through some of the potential
codependency issues this is important because you will not be able to set
boundaries until you are clear on your desires and I'll give you a hint your
desires should state what you want not what you want someone else to do or stop
doing step number three be direct and clear I can't tell you how many people
think they are setting boundaries when at best they are making week suggestions
many think that getting right to the point is rude and harsh but the opposite
is true beating around the bush and being
wishy-washy and your expectations is not being kind it's actually dishonouring
people do better with clearly defined expectations even if they don't agree
with them even Jesus was direct and clear in every one of his communications
step number four have your consequences ready and use them boundaries without
consequences are just a joke if you told your sister-in-law that the next time
she asks you to watch your niece at the last minute and or you won't be able to
help and then you do it anyway you've basically just erased the boundary line
literally having to start over and this time it's worse because now she knows
that she doesn't need to take your boundary seriously step number five get
support setting boundaries is not for the faint of heart if you are tired of
being trampled by difficult people it's time you learned how
joning a support group or asking a friend a mentor a counselor or a coach
for support as you embark upon this journey would be wise in this way you
will receive the love and the support and the counsel that is needed to
persevere and finish the race that god has carved out for you and perhaps you
are struggling with toxic people in your life I want to invite you to grab a copy
of my free toxic people Survival Guide but maybe you want even
more than that maybe you really are struggling with toxic people in your
life maybe it's your your boss a friend or even a family member
well you're not alone the truth is we all have troublemakers in our lives you
know those people who want to stir up strife and then seem to thrive on drama
well navigating through toxic relationships can be downright draining
I get it it's tempting to want to straighten these people out and while we
can't stop toxic people we can stop the toxicity from getting in us well if you
are ready to say goodbye to guilt and anger and hello to healthy boundaries
then I want to invite you to join my new course called the Christians guide to
dealing with difficult people God's Way in this course you will learn the five
types of toxic people the difference between broken and toxic behavior the
four types of boundaries and which are best for you how to overcome the fear of
healthy confrontation and most of all you will learn the practical tools on
how to interact with these people so you can grow in strength and get rid of the
guilt when avoiding this person isn't an option God may use them to help you grow
and I would be honored to walk alongside of you through this journey my friend I
believe that you can shift your suspicion that you can change this
person to the biblical understanding of love will you let me help you in the
description section below I will include a link that you can find out more
information and put yourself on the wait list and this way you will be alerted as
soon as registration opens so go ahead and check that out but my friend until
next time remember all things are possible with God