and now you got your amazon
and the milkman's come back
and nanny are safe welcome to watch mojo
and today we're counting down
our picks for the top 10 times south
park fueled our nightmares
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for this list we'll be looking at the
scariest most intense moments from trey
parker and matt stone's animated sitcom
which south park moment gave you
nightmares let us know in the comments
number 10 chef's girlfriend in this
season 3 episode the boys don't
appreciate chef's new girlfriend
veronica
it's not just that she's keeping chef
from spending time with them
she's also changing him she's stealing
chef from us he didn't even seem like
chef
he seemed like an empty shell of a man
naturally they suspect that she's a
succubus preying on
chef which despite the odds is later
confirmed to be true
when she transforms in front of them oh
and boys
just one more thing i'm going to marry
chef tomorrow
and there's not a goddamn
to call her true form grotesque is an
understatement
her eyes become red her face becomes
sunken
and she sprouts a giant set of wings
with a demonic voice to match
chef definitely dodged a bullet when the
boys exposed this soul-sucking beast
we're sorry chef we had to do it no i'm
i'm glad you did children
number nine how the nsa collects
information
right this way bill welcome to the nsa
main office
uh yes so this is where the government
checks up on its citizens when cartman
sneaks his way
into the nsa as a job applicant the
chief reveals to him the horrifying
truth of how they're able to keep tabs
on
everyone the nsa has kidnapped santa and
hooked him up to some sort of super
computer
attaching tubes throughout his body
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this is how we know who's a threat and
who's not although this method is cruel
it does make pragmatic sense as santa is
able to spy on people
and has a lot of information on their
behavior but the ends most certainly
do not justify the means in this case
nobody cares that santa claus is hooked
up to a big horrible machine
i know that the nsa is torturing santa
sweetie but they're keeping us safe i
know you just sound like everybody else
many a child has dreamt of coming face
to face with kris kringle
after this episode you're left singing a
very different tune
number eight trapper keeper absorbs
cartman
as part of his school supplies for the
new year cartman gets a state-of-the-art
trapper keeper that is
not only stylish but can do all kinds of
cool things i don't even know how you
made it in the fourth grade
keeper i need to drown out my annoying
friend please initiate music
country high volume
unfortunately the sophisticated
technology proves too much
for cartman and eventually absorbs him
going on a rampage to bring about a
futuristic apocalypse
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oh no it's heading for cheyenne mountain
the part of the episode where cartman
turns into a trapper keeper hybrid
is an excellent display of body horror
he transforms into a complete
monstrosity
with a monotone robot voice and
tentacles that grab
everything in sight i said get out of my
way
number seven scott tenerman's parents
do you like it do you like it scott i
call it
mr and mrs timmerman chili
oh my god
oh my god you knew this scene would make
the list
like all great nightmare fuel moments
this moment came totally out of left
field the first time the episode
aired we all knew cartman was vindictive
but we didn't know the depths of his
depravity until we saw him feed scott
tenderman the remains of his parents in
a bowl of chili
he then gleefully licks the boy's tears
let me taste your tears scott
your tears are so yummy and sweet dude i
think it might be best for us to never
piss cartman off again
good call as if cartman's twisted plan
and his cold explanation weren't
disturbing enough
he caps off the episode by imitating
porky pig
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it's the cherry on top of a thoroughly
stomach churning moment
number six man bear pig you see
there is something out there which
threatens our very existence
and maybe the end to the human race as
we know it
i'm talking of course about man bear pig
when we first hear from al gore about a
creature that's half
man half bear and half pig the idea
sounds pretty silly
not to mention a mathematical
impossibility however upon seeing man
bear pig in later episodes
we felt very differently
it is downright terrifying man bear pig
is brutal
and unstoppable and if you should be
unlucky enough to get too close
it'll rip you in half with ease
what is it it's like a half man half
bear and half pink while it doubles as a
metaphor for climate change
this demonic and bloodthirsty monster is
also just nightmare fuel
in its own right it is real you want to
believe it's real you go
right on ahead susan number five
redshirt makes a run for
it after a mishap leaves the school bus
suspended over a cliff
the bus driver miss crabtree tells the
children to stay put while she goes off
to look for help
to keep the kids on the bus she warns
them that a monster is lurking outside
remember don't get off this bus or a big
scary monster will it
hours later one of the kids decides to
leave the bust
but we know from the color of the kid's
shirt it doesn't look good for him
sure enough the monster is actually real
which
red shirt kid finds out much too late
holy crap dude
the monster is minimalistic in design
but with its classic horror movie
playbook
it still manages to inspire a healthy
dose of terror
oh my god he's killing kitty you bastard
number four
cartman's sinister plan hoping to teach
cartman about
tolerance stan and kyle trick cartman
into thinking he's become
a ginger this is of course the term
cartman uses disparagingly toward people
with red hair
and a fair complexion in conclusion i
will leave you with this
if you think that the ginger problem is
not a serious one
think again this backfires however as
cartman instead becomes leader of the
gingers
and plans to round up the non-ginger
kids
i am not going to live my life as a
goddamn minority
are you with me
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what does cartman intend to do with them
let's just say his plan involves
cages and lava as disturbing as
cartman's machinations are
the rounding up part is equally as
creepy when the non-ginger kids are
taken out of their homes
in the night it's truly the stuff of
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nightmares
number three kenny's deaths in early
seasons kenny met his maker in almost
every
episode oh my god they've killed kenny
you bastards
this tragedy usually came as a result of
a freak accident
such as an object falling on him or a
wild animal attack
the ways that kenny met his end were
diverse and incredibly graphic
especially since this was happening to a
child it's later revealed that kenny is
able to come back to life repeatedly
because his parents were once involved
with a cthulhu cult
oh that thing no we weren't in that
stupid group
they just used to offer free beer at
their meeting so we would go
so kenny's predicament while worthy of a
place on our list
even when taken at face value is
actually a nightmare of lovecraftian
proportions
all right dude let's just say you're not
crazy and it's true what's the big deal
i mean
i think it'd be pretty cool not to be
able to die pretty cool number two
cartman closes his eyes struggling to
come up with ideas for his helen keller
musical
cartman is instructed to close his eyes
so he can get inside the head
of the famous figure hey that's not a
bad idea just relax
just try to let your mind wander and let
the juices flow
from there we get a window into
cartman's mind and it's even more
disturbing than expected
a montage of images follows from bombs
being dropped and the hindenburg
crashing
to various other examples of misery
cruelty
and disaster all shown with eerie music
in the background
none of it phases cartman however as
it's all just a day in the mind of this
twisted young man
oh man well did you see anything no just
the same old crap i always see when i
close my ass
for the rest of us these images are some
of the last things we want to think
about before drifting off to sleep
before we unveil our top pick here's a
few more honorable mentions that are
definitely
nightmare inducing cartman's ritalin
hallucinations
these christina aguilera monsters still
haunt us
did you guys see that see what randy
deep sixes winnie the pooh
this would make any kid cry
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stunt gone wrong who would watch this
oh my god they killed kenny sort of yeah
they kind of killed kenny's
lookalike you bastards tom and mary
they were left to literally rot in jail
didn't we ever release them
well i forgot all about them me too oh
my god
officer bob ready uh you never had tom
and mary in this cell
i didn't no no in fact they never came
to south park we've never heard of them
oh phew i feel a lot better then before
we continue
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number one woodland critters it's almost
time when the time is here the time
that's only once a year we can hardly
wait because it's so near a woodland
critter
in this christmas special the woodland
critters look wholesome and cute
but because this is south park there's
obviously got to be a catch
well it turns out that they're all a
bunch of devil worshipers who want to
usher in a new dark age
by summoning the antichrist the
antichrist you said she was giving birth
to your savior
yes to the son of our lord satan the
prince of darkness this reveal comes
completely out of nowhere
leaving the viewers stunned all of a
sudden the woodland critters don't look
so cute anymore
this episode turns up the intensity when
the critters engage in ritualistic
sacrifice
and use their demonic powers
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