miss stories they don't have spoilers
you understand that TV and life are
different right communities Abed nadir
uses the fantasy of TV and movies to
understand his reality of it
there is no North Pole we're in the
library study room and I'm not a
Christmas wizard I know you're a
Christmas warlock this aspiring
filmmaker demonstrates the concept of a
parasocial relationship first coined by
psychologists donald horton and richard
wall in 1956 the phrase refers to a deep
emotional attachment to media personas
and fictional characters whether there
are superheroes yes I am Batman dashing
Rogues Time Lords or even Xenomorphs
we're used to seeing the fandom obsessed
geek depicted as a developmentally
stunted outcast who's unable to function
in the real world and in movies like
misery perfect blue and Ingrid goes west
the parasocial relationship has even
been portrayed as dangerous an obsession
that spirals into a full-blown delusion
I'm your number one fan and all but in
recent studies psychologists have
suggested that these kinds of
relationships can actually be beneficial
cool clinical and that's exactly what we
see in Abed his pop culture comparisons
help him better understand himself I'm
more of a fast blinking stoic removed
uncomfortably self-aware type like data
or Mork or hell or kids or k9 Woodstock
and or Snoopy and guide his friends to
actualize more truthful versions of
themselves because when you really know
who you are and what you like about
yourself changing for other people isn't
such a big deal he becomes closer to
other people not in spite of but because
of his obsessions you should control I
got a bogey on my six yeah
six the question of what roles these
attachments play in our lives feels
especially urgent in today's age of
binge watching as many of us spend more
time with our fictional friends than our
real ones so here's our take on how
communities Abed nadir shows us the
positive side of the parasocial
relationship to be continued
hi everyone I'm Susanna and I'm Debra
and you're watching gonna take be sure
to share and subscribe and never miss a
take let's give this bad boy a read
that's probably just for you I've never
gotten one of these right there it's
probably you just you have to pee I need
to talk to you Abed nadir is socially
awkward he has difficulty reading the
room picking up on sarcasm and
understanding other people's emotions is
this a social cue he struggles with
expressing his feelings
I need help reacting to something
community deliberately avoids diagnosing
Abed specific condition but as creator
Dan Harmon has acknowledged Abbott has
resonated with many viewers on the
autism spectrum they considered him a
refreshing portrayal of someone with
their so-called disorder he was what he
was and he was okay with it
in fact Abbott isn't just okay he's
incredibly confident but I got
self-esteem flowing out of my butt but
he doesn't get how to connect socially
without a pre-scripted framework his
only knowledge of how people interact
comes from pop culture this is kind of
like Breakfast Club huh we are in a
library
yeah I'm sure we've each got an issue
balled up inside of us that would make
us cry if we talked about it so when
Abed wants to say whoo a love interest
he channels Don Draper what are you
reading Pride and Prejudice so you're
familiar with two sins about a third
when it's time for the big paintball
match against City College
he becomes han Solo I need it for your
revolution I'm in it for me when Abed
needs to figure out who ruined his
limited edition Dark Knight DVD
naturally he turns to Batman you know
what I came for scum where is it this is
more than just the usual role-playing
bye
happening these characters Abbott is
emboldened to become an actor rather
than an observer in his own life he
creatively adjusts to each particular
moment shifting the narratives he
references to select which ones are most
useful for exploring the themes and
questions at hand in other words it
seems we left the Western motif and
enter a more of a star wars scenario
writing for the British psychology
Society Boston Globe columnist Robin
Abraham suggested that when it comes to
the kind of people who form parasocial
relationships both temperament and
upbringing play a role Abed is not only
neurologically atypical he's also the
child of a broken home his mother left
him at a young age mommies moved on new
family new life a soured relationship
with his father caused Abed to retreat
with fictional characters becoming his
most constant companions and his role
models my dad I never wanted to watch
anything so I just kind of raised by TV
yet parasocial relationships enable Abed
to reconnect with his dad
Abbott turns his life into a movie which
allows him to confront these issues in a
safe fictional world without the risks
inherent in the real one Jeff I think
you should play the role of my father I
don't to be your father it's perfect you
already know your lines he is able to
use films veneer of unreality to uncover
an unexpressed pain about his mother
leaving and this movie version of Abed
is able to tell his father what he
cannot Allah Allah let me Hakuna like
and Karl Adam Abbott's growth mirrors a
2014 study conducted by researchers at
York College of Pennsylvania which found
that parasocial relationships can foster
self expansion the ability to envision a
better version of ourselves through
fiction movies and TV helped Abed
understand how other people work how the
world works and ultimately how he works
it's like 30 rock meets IT Crowd meets
well me and they enable him to do many
things he might otherwise find
impossible grown-up
let's make a deal I'll help you connect
with people and you help me do a better
job with them like Knight Rider exactly
as an avid TV watcher Abbott has
developed unusually shrewd observation
skills I'm a student of human character
I know you guys all so well I can
predict your behavior I know you're a
sweet Christian generous person oh
that's nice on community this becomes an
especially meta meta joke as Augmon
often behaves as though he's aware that
he's on a TV show
I hate battle episodes he's frequently
breaking the fourth wall if not it'll be
because an asteroid has destroyed all
human civilization that's Kenneth and he
discusses both himself and his friends
as though there are TV characters Jeff
and Britta is no Ross and Rachel your
sexual tension and lack of chemistry are
putting us all on edge which is why
ironically and here this on every level
you're keeping us from being friends
hobbits hyper analytical nature can get
on other's nerves
it makes the group uncomfortable when
you talk about us like we're characters
in the show you're watching well that's
what am i giving but it also gives a bit
of framework to bond with the others
using his parasocial relationships to
form social ones Abbott's friendship
with Jeff is based on Abed instinctively
orienting everything around Jeff's role
as the leading man of it why are you
mining my life classic sitcom scenarios
he reframes Jeff in the vein of other TV
protagonists like Hawkeye on mash then
casts himself as the helpful sidekick
call me reader it helps their
communication that Jeff gets most of
Abed's references nobody puts Baby in
the corner
Dirty Dancing and Abed draws on this
mutual understanding of idealized
fictional characters to call out Jeff
whenever he fails to live up to those
standards
I can tell life from TV Jeff TV makes
sense in a structure logic rules and
likeable leading men in life we have
this
we have you but over time their hero and
sidekick dynamic blossoms into the
respectful give-and-take of a genuine
egalitarian friendship play-acting is
also at the heart of Ovid's other
closest relationship outwardly Troy and
Abed aren't obvious candidates for best
friends Abed seems to be the typical
geek while Troy is the popular jock
well this teenage boy is a quarterback
in a prom king
whereas Abed has trouble expressing his
feelings Troy seems to be overflowing
with them still Troy has his own
experiences with parasocial
relationships as evidenced by his
feelings for Star Trek star levar burton
and this side of troy creates a natural
chemistry with Abed that's defined by a
shared sense of whimsy if I haven't like
woke up as a donor you would eat
yourself I wouldn't even question it and
a mutual love of sci-fi and action
movies you watch another movie in your
dorm tonight
kickpuncher starring Don the demon
Donaldson as a cyborg cop whose punches
have the power of capes
I'll bring the popcorn more than
anything and Troy and Abed are brought
together by play why do you guys do
stuff like this because it's fine
whether it's constructing blanket forts
pretending to co-host a TV talk show or
acting out wild fantasies in their
virtual playroom the Dreamatorium fight
losing themselves in fictional worlds
try and Ovid are able to escape a real
world that normally keeps the docs and
the nerds apart Hobbit shows that
play-acting can also be very
romantically appealing anyhoo doesn't
seem like an obvious match for Abed even
as friends well I didn't realize we were
really good friends I figured we were
more like Chandler and Phoebe they never
really had stories together
finds herself attracted to him when he's
playing certain roles and overtime play
solidifies their close friendship
allowing the typically uptight Annie to
lose herself in fun this working to
handshake in progress and to explore her
own one-sided relationships with fantasy
figures specifically her sub loom
schoolgirl desires for alpha males
playing Star Wars is worn-out and
immature you like me because I'm
immature
Abed's romance with Rachel is entirely
predicated on acting out pop-culture
tropes something she loves just as much
as he does it's one of my favorite bits
like when a dog acts embarrassed or when
a guy chooses after the girl then does
that big public declaration of love at
first their pair of social relationships
threatened to get in the way of a real
one if this were a movie this would be
the perfect kiss you're right except
we're doing a sitcom trope so it'd be
totally out of place but by following
the examples he's seen in countless
fictional romances Abed is successful at
wooing Rachel so would you like to go
out sometime
I would like that do you want to pretend
like you're just going out with me on a
bed and even winning her back after
things go awry it stopped raining
yeah sure did the presentation may be
fiction but for both of them imaginary
scenarios foster a growth that is
entirely real and a bond based in
uncomfortable truth it's not a huge
amount of people in my life that haven't
eventually kicked me out and I don't
always see you coming I don't want to
happen with you
all we had was dumb reality before he
met that man and he's made all of our
lives better than reality
parasocial relationships are inherently
internal allowing a person to work
through issues pertaining to their own
identity but Abed shows how they can
also be used for teaching others how to
self actualize this is incredible to be
able to talk there's openly why can't
people be like this as Psychology Today
notes therapists will sometimes
integrate superheroes and fantasy
characters into therapeutic fan fiction
allowing patients to explore their
personal stories through the prism of
comforting narratives
Abed does something similar for his
friends crafting fantasy scenarios
through which they can work toward
personal revelations or uncover their
deepest fears your average Britta Perry
your business casual potted plant a
human white sail your vh1 Robocop 2 and
Back to the Future 3 Ovid uses the
role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons hi
I am your Dungeon Master as a tool to
allow his friends to become characters
for far removed from their normal selves
this becomes a form of play therapy a
session organized for their friend Neil
not only pulls him back from the brink
of extreme depression it also discovers
the true source of his pain that's right
now you do best friend Jeff Weiner
coined the name fat Neil Plus it exposes
the harsh truth behind Pierce's pattern
of insensitive behavior my petit Pierce
knock it off
yeah you really outdid yourself this
week there's a lot of pain in you you
seriously feel bad Abed elicits a
similar breakthrough for Jeff using my
dinner with Andre engaging Jeff in a
simulation of that film's Frank
philosophical discussions that ends up
uncovering some very real truths why
would you pay a woman on the phone to
think you're fat because I'm scared that
if I were overweight that no one would
like me God that feels good to admit
Jeff's insecurities are also brought to
the fore by Abbott's Syfy film chief
star and the Raiders of the galaxy where
Jeff's disappointment over losing his
big scene stems from a much deeper fear
that he's not the leading man of the
story like Abed has made him
to be and the part I accidentally got
the most excited about is the seven
minutes we can cut
I finally know in my heart that I would
literally be the last one of us here
Troy also agonizes over other people's
perceptions of him and his role playing
with Abed is a healthy step toward
letting that go of it
we're weird we need to be weird tensions
arise whenever Abba tests the limits of
that role play it would be less creepy
if you were actually an alien and
they're often juvenile behavior
complicates Troy's need to grow up
because you don't like people who tell
you what to do and I don't want to be
one of those people then don't be I have
to be but when it comes time for Troy to
finally leave Abed behind Abbott the
floor can't be lava forever I think the
games gotta end it's not a game for me
Troy I'm seeing real lava because you're
leaving it's fantasy that allows them to
say goodbye somehow
[Music]
meanwhile Annie and Ovid both have a
tendency toward having relationships
with imaginary versions of real people
we love Jeff no we don't we're just in
love with the idea of being loved and if
we can teach a guy like Jeff to do it
will never be unloved this also falls
within the parasocial spectrum as Robin
Abraham's noted even in our most
intimate personal relationships we are
often interacting with a mental model of
our partner or parent imagining their
current state of mind or how they would
respond to whatever situation we find
ourselves in we keep running the same
scenario over and over hoping for
different results running scenarios
careful now
you're starting to sound like Abbott as
a result of this mindset Annie and Abed
tried to manipulate how their friends
behave and to plan their lives according
to prescribed narratives but as Annie
realizes while journeying with Abed
through his simulations in the
Dreamatorium this simply doesn't work
it's trying to make life go according to
some script I can't you can't we both
need to get more comfortable winging it
while imaginary scenarios can help us
understand the roots of our problems we
can't solve those problems purely by
retreating into fiction your simulations
are nothing more than anxieties you're
afraid you don't fit in you're afraid
you'll be alone great news you share
that with all of us because Abed is
himself a fictional character we can
form a pair of social relationship with
him one that helps us to process our own
anxieties and obsessions the character
like a better okay you don't like yeah
we the thing that they represent is the
part of us all of us feel like weirdos
it's arguably the norm today to spend
more time watching fictional characters
than interacting with real people we
live in the age of the personality quiz
where people look to define themselves
by which Harry Potter house they belong
to have Slytherin
ravenclaw yeah that is exactly but or
which character from the good place
they're most like we stand movie
franchises and ship TV characters and we
use gifts of imaginary people to convey
our emotions in AA 'but we see just an
extreme version of the ways many of us
use pop culture to define our
personalities balance restored at this
movie reference but we can take heart
from Ovid's example that our deep
connection to fictional characters
doesn't necessarily mean weird
associating from reality as media
psychologist karen dill Shackleford told
New York Magazine the one-sided
parasocial relationship is actually
deeply social we empathize with these
imaginary creations but we're also
relating them back to the very real
stories of ourselves a back and forth in
which we quote explore our own
identities our own understandings of our
relationships our values what we think
is meaningful in life to friend you've
known so well for so long and it needs
to be okay for it to have a bad day or
phone in a day and it needs to be okay
for it to get on a boat with levar
burton and never come back in Abed we
see a depiction of the parasocial
relationship that reassures us it can be
a healthy means of personal growth I see
your value now it's a call back to when
we met first season
Abed might be made up but that doesn't
make his story any less true that's the
nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
[Music]
this is the take what do you want our
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[Music]
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