-Our first guest tonight is an Emmy-winning writer and comedian
you know from his work on "SNL," "Oh, Hello" on Broadway,
and the Netflix series "Big Mouth."
He'll be playing Madison Square Garden
on June 23rd, 24th, and 25th as
part of his "From Scratch" stand-up tour.
There it is right there, "From Scratch."
Please welcome back to the show, our very good friend,
John Mulaney, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Please.
♪♪
Hello, old friend.
-Hi, Seth, how are you? -I'm good.
I can't help but notice that you brought a second suit.
-There's no better way to bring it out here than to hold it.
[ Laughter ]
You remember 18 months ago, when you and all those people
tricked me and confronted me
and told me my life was going downhill
and I needed to make some changes?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
-Let's talk about the way you dress on air.
-Oh, okay. [ Laughter ]
-They cured the pandemic.
I mean, I don't read the news,
but they cured the whole thing. -Uh-huh.
-We're not working from home anymore.
-No, no, no. -You're not in an attic.
-Yep. -In Albany
or wherever you go when you're not here.
-Yeah. -You're still dressing
like you had a date and didn't want to wear
the same clothes at work, so you stopped at the Gap
in Astor Place and bought a sweater.
[ Laughter ]
It's -- I don't like to do this.
You know I don't like to confront people.
-No. -But how about a suit again?
-I mean, if you want me to put that on, I'll put that on.
But I will say, I feel like we put a lot more
into our intervention for you.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, what, because I don't have a car waiting?
-That would have been really nice,
if you had a car waiting to take me to a tailor.
-There's an SUV to take you to Pennsylvania.
You're going to spend two months getting fitted.
Listen, you're a 32 short, right?
[ Laughter ]
-Did you really think I was going to put pants on as well?
Here, I'll put the shirt on.
And while we're doing this -- -And look, I miced the jacket.
-You did that? -I did. Yeah, I did that.
-You did that. -No one that works here
helped me. -You know, while I'm doing this,
because I do take this seriously,
you and Andy Samberg, you co-hosted a talk show.
You filled in for Jimmy Kimmel,
and you guys took it super seriously, so I get that...
[ Laughter ]
-But that was --
we were satirizing how badly you could dress.
This is just --
-You can sit down while I change.
You're making me very nervous.
-What if you need -- -You feel like I'm gonna
make a -- like I'm going to run?
I'm going to run for it. -No, it's like --
My dad taught me, at a restaurant,
when your mother leaves the table, you stand up.
You know? -Yeah, yeah.
-Look at that.
Look at it, right over the crewneck.
[ Laughter ]
You're going to be miced twice.
See, that's rare in "Late Night."
That'll go viral. -This is --
Yeah, for the kids who love sound.
[ Laughter ]
Alright. -Now, this is gonna be good.
That way, when I watch the show tonight,
I won't think I'm watching rehearsal, which I normally do.
[ Laughter ]
Do you feel a lot happier? -Put on the tie!
-[ Begrudgingly ] Alright.
-You're on TV!
-I feel like if this would have had --
this would have looked nice if I did it backstage.
-Well, there's no time for that.
-How is your -- -Oh, good collar up?
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
See, people go, "Now this is a show."
[ Laughter, applause ] This is real.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Look at that.
-How was your first Father's Day, buddy?
Congratulations. -Thank you very much.
My first Father's Day was a...
[ Cheers and applause ] ...beautiful affair.
-What did you do? -My son Malcolm,
who's nearly seven months old,
he got me a plethora of gifts. -Oh, yeah.
-I woke up, and I had breakfast with him.
And his new thing is, when I turn the phone on
and it's in selfie mode and I put it on video,
he grabs it and slowly brings the camera into his mouth.
So all his films have the same twist ending.
I think I have a photo of him and me
when we were on "SNL," I believe.
-Oh, yeah, this is you.
I mean, again, it seems like your forcing --
I'm not the only guy you're forcing into a suit.
-Yeah, see?
I remember Malcolm's words were, "If I'm going to 30 Rock
or something show business related,
I should wear a goddamn suit."
[ Laughter ] -Well, sure,
because he doesn't have the job yet.
I have the job. -Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
-If I didn't have this job, I'd be wearing a suit.
-I know. The difference between you and Malcolm.
"Stature," he says every week.
-I do. Olivia posted this.
It just said, "My Valentines are watching --"
Well, why don't you tell everybody
what you guys were watching?
Because I think there are a lot of different shows
that kids like.
And sometimes the adult,
as a dad, you have to watch a show that's maybe not for you.
-Yeah, there's that Cocomelon stuff.
There's, you know, the Daniel Tiger,
and you watch these kid shows when you have a baby.
So here we are watching "Bosch" on Amazon Prime,
which is about Detective Bosch
and based on the Michael Connelly novels
that kids love, right?
And then recently,
he and I were watching "The Lincoln Lawyer" on Netflix.
-Also Michael Connelly, right? -And he goes, "Wait a second,
are there some crossovers?"
I go, "Malcolm, of course.
The Lincoln lawyer is Bosch's cousin."
[ Laughter ]
I mean, you should have seen the look on his face.
-Oh, yeah.
When kids catch, like, crossover stuff,
they just love it. -Yeah.
My oldest boy.
[ Laughter ]
-You guys -- oh, wait.
I'm wondering, because, you know, we've got one as well.
You know, we've got a little baby.
And I'm wondering if you have felt the formula shortage,
that has been something that is --
-Oh, yeah. Baby formula shortage?
Yes, yes. So, Malcolm drinks Enfamil Gentlease.
It's the purple label Enfamil.
If anyone here has any, I'll meet you in the parking lot
and do -- I'll do all manner of things to get that.
[ Laughter ]
So Olivia went to Target and she goes,
"You can only get four cans at a time."
-Okay. -It can go pretty quickly.
And so when she told me that,
all my old drug-buying instincts kicked in.
I was like, "Oh, you're saying we need to trick a pharmacy?
Okay."
I was like, "Let's get some fake driver's licenses.
I go in, I'm me. Four cans. I come back a half hour later.
Mr. Mustache, four more cans.
You go in, you're you, four cans.
You come back, old Vietnamese lady.
Four more cans."
[ Laughter ]
Also I ordered some Enfamil on Amazon.
Have you ever gotten an Amazon product and, like, it's janky?
It's not the real thing? -Yeah, yeah.
-Terrible business. Terrible business, Amazon.
So I get a Enfamil and I was like, "Is this real?
I can't give this to my son."
So I actually cut the bag open,
dipped my finger in it went,
"Yeah, that's really Enfamil." [ Laughter ]
-"This deal's good." -"This deal's good."
[ Laughter ]
-I have a million more questions for you.
We will be right back with more from John Mulaney!