Hey guys! So... Ah! *camera falls* Oh my god...
That was close. Definitely still experiencing my 343 years of bad luck.
Anyway, I recently went back up north and my northern friends were like "Ay Phil, we should have a reunion."
They don't speak like that. And I was like "Yeah, catching up! Board games, Guitar Hero, anti-gravity tennis!"
That doesn't exist yet does it? Come on science, it's 2015. Catch up.
But when I arrived it was a different story, as they...
Wanted to go to a night club.
*sound effect*
Phil and night clubs are kind of un-mixey things, like a penguin and a volcano.
Or a dog... and an anti-dog machine.
They don't gel.
I'm not saying I don't like having fun and socialising, I love house parties. I just don't really enjoy clubs that much.
Let's have a flash back to university.
Hey, sorry about the total lack of communication recently.
What was going on with my hair? I don't know why it was bright orange...
Or what was happening, but yeah, that was me in my second year university house with five friends who'd want to go out clubbing at least
twice a week, sometimes every night of the week. And it could be fun sometimes, but mostly...
It wasn't the best.
Firstly, me attempting to dance looks like this: *music*
Before you even get into the club, the bouncers are usually terrifying.
You're not coming in mate, you're not wearing shoes.
These are shoes! Did I say you can talk?
Once you get past the national guard, it's so loud, if you're trying to catch up with friends, conversations usually go like:
*shouting* So what is going on with you?
What?
What is new with you?
You need a poo?
I remember one time when I was attempting to dance when I noticed a girl had a really awesome fox tattoo,
so I kind of got transfixed by this tattoo, I forgot it wasn't really socially acceptable to just stare at people on the dance floor,
till all of a sudden Baldy McGee was up in my face saying, "Are you making eyes on my girl?"
No, no, no, I was just looking at her fox!
You calling my girl an ox?
Oh god.
Then he got really mad and pushed me into another guy who got really angry cause I had been pushed into him, so he pushed me back,
and then a massive push fight just started on the dance floor, so I kind of just...
slithered down onto the floor and crawled away as Mr. Brightside was playing. Yeah, I should really stop staring at strangers.
Where was I? Oh yeah.
Then, if you need to pee, drunk strangers in the toilet are scarily talkative.
I'm not gonna be able to pee if some guy is staring directly at me and telling me about Manchester United's new football shoelace colours.
I even saw a guy so distracted that he dropped his phone into his own pee flow.
Blahh!
Kind of surprised I've never done that to be honest, but that is besides the point.
Another thing that may surprise you is that the guys that were the rowdiest frm my entire university
were the chemistry students and we had a few mutual friends so I'd go out with them sometimes,
And they were kind of laddish and I didn't get on with them that well, but I went along anyways, I wanted to be with my friends.
But there was this one guy that I'm going to call Schplichael who knew I was uncomfortable and kind of singled me out,
So in drinking games he'd always be like "Pick Phil! Pick Phil!"
Which wasn't that funny, and also he'd make me down drinks while everyone was watching, and I just didn't really like it that much, or
Him.
Anyway, one night they poured about 12 different drinks into one glass and Schplichael was like "Huh, let's get Phil to down it!"
And I didn't want to do that at all. So thankfully I thank fast and told them I was allergic to orange juice.
So I couldn't...
Drink the disgusting drink, when in reality I should have been like "No thanks, Schplichael."
If you're that excited about it, why don't you drink it yourself?
But I went with the orange excuse.
Orange excuse... That sounds like a good band name.
But there will be times in life when people do pressure you to do stuff like that, but a proper friend won't really care if you say no.
Which is why I've deleted Schplichael off Facebook.
Yes! As I didn't really need people like him in my life.
And I'm a lot happier that way.
Why did you tell this particular story, Phil?
It's a new year, so I thought it might inspire you to cut some of those unhealthy "friends"
out of your life that you don't like that much, or maybe just not feel pressured into doing something that you don't want to do.
And you may have heard people on YouTube talking about "Rise Above" and I thought it was a great idea so I decided to tell you about it too.
If you go to riseabove.org.uk which is also in the description below, there are loads of things that can help you out with these kinds of situations.
Including activities and videos, and including some made by my bro slice PJ.
So make sure you check it out below!
Anyway, flash back to 2014, I actually had a really great time with my northern friends, even if I did still dance like this:
It was definitely about the friends I was going with rather than the experience itself.
But in all honesty, give me Mario Kart and popcorn any day of the week.
Today's draw Phil naked is: *music*
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Join my team? Why'd I just say join my team?
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Go do it.
Click.
Goodbye.