I really need to work on an intro to this.
Or maybe it doesn't need an intro, maybe the intro should be the thing people do when the
say something funny and out of context and then it just cuts to the intro.
First up I've got a question from anonymous who says, 'My boyfriend doesn't like sex.
I know, right?
We rarely ever have sex and I mean maybe once every three months which drives me insane
because I love it.
I don't know if he has low T or is maybe asexual or what.
Is this normal?'
I'm not here so much to diagnose your boyfriend but rather call out something that I see which
is the fact that regardless of whether he is any of those things this relationship is
driving you insane.
I think that maybe it's time for you to look for another relationship.
Your sexual needs are not being met and perhaps his needs are not being met because you're
frustrated as well and it just doesn't sound like a very good match.
Now when it comes to the question of is this normal in regard to his sex drive, sex drives
are also like snowflakes.
Everyone's is a little bit different and unique and people sex drives can ebb and flow over
time and with different people.
Maybe the question that's more important for you to ask yourself is is this healthy?
Having been in a relationship with someone who was rarely interested in having sex and
certainly much less interested in sex than I was, it was not a healthy set-up.
I think that it's time for you to move on.
Whether that's just hanging out with your vibrator or meeting someone else.
The natural segue from that is a question about anal sex.
'Why do people consider people who have engaged in anal as maintaining their virginity by
only doing anal acts?'
I talked all about this in a recent Ask Cristen so I recommend you go back and watch that
as well for a more in depth discussion on this whole virginity thing.
Anal sex is sex.
Oral sex is sex.
Considering yourself a pure virgin because you're having anal sex rather than having
vaginal sex is....uhhhh....The question of why some people use this anal logic is all
because of the sexual double standard and the myth of virginity and this idea that one
must be sexually pure in order to be considered morally worthy of love and relationships and
stability and marriage and respect as a human being.
It's a complete and total lie.
It is absolutely time for us to dismantle this cultural nonsense regarding virginity.
In doing that, it's dismantling heteronormative virginity because yeah gay sex is also sex.
Finally Fruits&Nuts asks, 'Hey Cristen, I want to know why some women are so loud in
bed?
My friend's roommate's girlfriend was SO LOUD all the time, even with 4 other people in
the apartment.'
There have actually been studies on copulatory vocalizations which is a very fancy word for
the oh, oh, oh, oh.
There was a study that came out in the past few years which found that among the straight
women it looked at, they tended to get louder during sex as a way to sort of hasten the
dude's orgasm.
As they anticipated him climaxing, usually their loudness climaxed as well.
I think that it's a mix perhaps of a little bit of subconscious nature maybe of okay,
I'm, I'm gonna like help you get off.
Also some nurture too.
Porn has absolutely shaped our sex expectations particularly when it comes to how women should
look as well as how we act and sound in bed.
A little bit of a PG-13 Quick Questions.
But hey, anal sex, loud in bed, uh, people not wanting to have sex, what do I tell you
people?
I'll answer it all.
Now as always I have a quick question for you.
What is one item in people's closets that makes no sense to you?
Let me know in the comments below and hey if you have quick questions or long questions
for me you can always comment, message or tweet me @cristenconger and be sure to like
and subscribe so you don't miss a single stuff that mom never told you.
But really it's stuff that I tell you because I'm not a mom.
I'm not your mom!