(audience applauds)
You know, that must...
I mean, it's still relatively early in your career,
I'm guessing. Yep.
And you're working with Robert De Niro. It's like-
Yeah, that was-
[Conan] How do you top that?
That must've been really fun.
I don't think you do.
I think I've reached the zenith of my career, probably.
[Conan] Maybe not. [Seth] Probably not.
'Cause Now you're here with the Maestro.
Exactly though.
That was pathetic.
No, it was amazing to work with him.
I, you know, we rehearsed that whole piece
which I had written for him and the whole time
I couldn't think of anything to say to him.
It takes like an hour to rehearse a piece.
And I just couldn't come with any words.
Like, what do you say to Robert De Niro?
Like, "Are you having a good time?"
[Conan] Right, right.
(audience chuckles)
And so for like a whole hour, I didn't talk to him.
And then like two hours later
we ended up on an elevator together.
And it was like awkward silence-
Just the two of you?
Just the two of us in the elevator.
That's horrible.
And finally he looks over and he goes,
"D'you, d'you write that piece?"
And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, I did."
He goes, "It's funny. It's funny."
(Conan laughs)
And I was like, "That's it.
That's the best moment of my life."
That's gonna be it. Right there.
I probably sh...
I shouldn't even have kids.
Would've been funny if you disagreed with him,
"No, it's not."
[Seth] Yeah, yeah.
Yes it is.
No, no, it's not that.
Do you hang out with any of the guests?
Do you socialize?
Yeah, you know, at the parties, it's fun.
That's one of the nice things about the show
is we get the parties afterwards and-
Yeah, I used to work there
and there's a party after every show.
After every show.
We thought about doing that here.
But we do a show every night and we thought it'd be really
funny if every night we had a big party afterwards.
But, no. So you-
Once a week is more than enough.
But we had Fish a couple of weeks ago
and they were really great guys.
The band, Fish? Yeah.
Sounds like you had ordered it at the restaurant.
(audience laughs)
Yeah, we had fish at the party it was wonderful.
But no, they were, they were great guys.
And I was talking to 'em.
And something really unique was happening
which was every like two minutes, like a 19-year old dude
in like a ski cap and like a backpack
with patches sewn on would like sort of walk up
and just start nodding his head and like listening in,
and then he'd go, "Hey dudes, do you wanna get high?"
(audience chuckles)
And the lead star of Fish was like, "No, no, we're cool.
Thanks man."
He'd be like, "All right, you know where to find me."
And then he'd leave and literally a minute later,
another guy another 19-year old dude would just be there.
It was like a receiving line in a wedding
of guys who just wanna get high with Fish.
Yeah, pot.
Yeah. That's nice.
So, yeah. It's always nice at a party.
We had Hugh Grant here just a couple of nights ago
and I was thinking about the time you look a lot...
It's not just me, but look,
you have the Hugh Grant look to your face.
Yeah. It's true.
We have the same face.
So for years, I've been getting by at cocktail parties
with just being like a...
"No, the whole thing is, frightfully...
(audience laughs)
This is Conan...
(mumbling)
(audience laughs)
The ladies love it, I'm sure.
The ladies love it.
The key is you just say dreadful, frightful,
and quite.
Kind of mumble-
Just revolve those every now and then.
Yeah, but he stopped stammering.
'Cause I saw him on your show the other night
and he's really like well put together now, like,
has his whole act together
and it's really hurting my game.
(audience laughs)
You can't do his thing anymore.
'Cause he pulled it together and started making sentences.
I thought we were a team Hugh Grant and I.
You're getting a lot of airtime.
You...this is your second season?
Yep.
And you're on that show a lot,
which is a sign that it's going well.
The first season though-
Yeah. It's a little tougher.
Because I remember they would announce you
at the beginning and I'd be looking for you
and be like, "Oh, this new guy here, he's funny."
And some of the people here on staff know him and say,
"Oh he's a really funny performer."
So I'd be looking for you
on Saturday Night Live just to see,
"Well let's see what this kid has."
Yeah.
But I wouldn't see you.
Until maybe 90 minutes at the end.
I did that-
Yeah, you'd be waving at the end.
I love that sometimes a cast member who never gets on.
But at the end they're waving and hugging everybody.
Yeah. And sometimes you do that with a host
who like really doesn't know who you are after a week.
Right.
You haven't done anything with them
and they're really like...you see in their eyes.
They're like, "Why is the janitor on set?"
(audience laughs)
It doesn't help that you're always holding a broom.
Yeah. Well it's my lucky broom.
Where as I call it a squishy or whatever it is .
Squidger or what?
I can't remember what you called it now.
So, but the first season I'd always be looking
for you and I wouldn't see you.
And then people were saying like,
"No, he was the one in the bear costume."
Yeah, I had a great run.
And you are always in a bear costume on that show.
Yeah.
Explain that.
Well, there's not a lot of glamour in the first year.
And a writer asked me if I wouldn't mind playing a bear
in one of these scenes
and the scene kept almost making it on the show.
And it involved a bear kissing
like a beautiful Hollywood starlet.
So it actually worked out really well
for me because it would get cut.
And then I sort of hope every time a starlet came back
like I hope we do that bear thing again.
[Conan] Right.
But you're wearing like a giant bear head.
So you're a full foot away
from like Gwyneth Paltrow's mouth.
'Cause the snout is that big.
That long...but...
The bear's not hers,
Yeah, right, right, okay. Right, exactly.
But-
She's got a huge honker, folks.
(audience laughs)
It doesn't show up on camera.
But in person...it's film.
But it's mainly 'cause if...
I think I'd know what it would be like
if a bear ate me whole
and then that bear made out with Gwyneth Paltrow,
like, I know exactly what that looks-
'Cause you're in there and you see her
that's gotta be so surreal.
The awful part is I think I recall now that, like,
I would actually, in this bear suit,
I think I opened my mouth like during the kissing scenes.
(audience laughs)
Giant bear head.
So you're alone in this giant, like giant, bear head
a full foot away from her and your op...
That's so sad.
Well, it's method.
It's called method acting.
[Conan] It's called method. I'm sorry.
We have a montage here.
A tribute to all the times you were in this bear costume.
And it actually, I don't think got on the air
with these different starlets, but luckily they
roll videotape at the dress show just beforehand.
So we have a little montage here, enjoy.
♪ And sometimes when we touch ♪
♪ The honesty's too much ♪
♪ And I have to close my eyes and hide ♪
(audience laughs)
♪ I wanna hold you till I die ♪
There right now.
(audience laughs and cheers)
I know-
A great lady.
That's the same costume...
That's the same costume we use for the masturbating bear.
Masturbating bear, yeah.
I was surprised you- That's really weird.
I don't like seeing him do that.
Those other roles.
Yeah. That angers me.
Why can't we afford our own bear costume?
That bothers me that we have one bear costume
and Saturday Night Live uses it too.
Every time I would like walk down the hallway
and it was like just heads turning, people,
"Guys, it's the masturbating bear."
[Conan] Right, right. (audience laughs)
I signed a lot of autographs
(Conan laughs)
"Are you the masturbating bear?"
"Yes, I am."
I heard...
And this is just...
This is small talk.
But I like to end my interviews
with small talk, small check.
I heard a rumor that you're gonna be
signing up to come to my gym, the gym that I go to.
It's true.
I basically had this invitation to come check out this gym.
And as I'm walking- It's right here.
It's like across the skating rink.
Yeah, the L.A. Sports Club is right here.
And it's perfect for us.
But, as I'm checking it out they're sort of showing me
all the workout equipment.
And they go, "You know, who works out here?
It's Conan O'Brien."
Sort of, they're like selling the gym
based on your physique.
That's like the worst idea I've ever heard of.
That's like saying,
"You know who works here or works out here?"
"Who's that?" "Don Knotts."
Yeah.
(audience laughs)
Mr. Furley works out here.
Like, who...that's not a good...
I'm not a good advertisement for a gym.
No, I mean, Wesley Snipes.
[Conan] Why did you agree with that right away?
Well, I've decided maybe you've got that...
(Conan laughs)
maybe you have the perfect-
I said I'm not a good advertisement for a gym.
And you went, "I know. No, you're not."
And I would thought you were gonna go the old,
"No, no. You're all man."
Yeah. I tried.
It didn't feel right.
I'm putting you back into a bear costume immediately.
All right.
Saturday Night Live with host
Robert De Niro and musical guest Norah Jones.
Yep.
That's the one that's on...what?
This weekend?
This coming Saturday must be.
They're rerunning it that fast?
'Cause of that scene. They just did that one.
That scene I did.
(Conan laughs)
That's gonna win an Emmy.
Okay. I'm gonna get a call now.
Man, it seems like they're repeating that awfully quickly.
(Conan laughs)
(audience laughs)
Seth Myers.
Thank you very much for being here.
Thanks again. Good to have you here.
(audience cheers and claps) We'll be right back.
Jimmy Carr.