Hello! I'm Gale Halestorm!
Author of the book, "You're Dead, I'm Rich".
A small college town is in shock, after the unthinkable has happened.
A brutal killing spree, leaving one teen dead-
THAT'S IT.
[KILLS THE ASSHOLE]
-two teens dead, and this small town shaken, and stirred.
It's times like these I have--
- Police are combing the area for clues.
It seems that there are no witnesses available, at this time.
- There are no suspects in custody.
Police are asking anyone to come forward.
- REPORTING LIVE, FOR BLACK TV.
WHITE FOLKS IS DEAD, WE GETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA' HERE.
LET'S ROLL, DAMNIT! Come on, GRAB THAT SHIT AND LET'S GO, MOTHERFUCKER!
- GO! GO!
- Hey!
Do you think the press is gonna' wanna' talk to us?
- Ugh, girl, no!
The press only wants to interview the most ignorant person they can find!
- I'm on TV! O-hoh shit!
First cops, now this!?
Oh, man, I'mma be a STAR, SON!
- What can you tell us about Drew?
- Well; she had the FATASS, son!
I mean, it was like BANG!
- How close were you, to the victim? - Real close!
Until the roofies wore off! Then she woke up, talking about pressing charges!
So, I just pulled my tongue out her ass and left!
- What would have been your last words to Drew?
- RUN, BITCH, RUUUN!