Someday I'm going to write a book about this place.
Mmm-hmm.
A real smack-a-rooni.
Agent Gillette, please.
- Oh, great. - Hey, girl.
You there?
Yeah, can you see me?
I see your knock-off Fiacchi drawers.
You are such a bitch.
You have a phone call.
Is it Stirling?
I am sure I don't know.
Do you know you're a little bitch?
Will you remember this conversation?
Probably not, no.
Well then, [BEEP] off.
Gonna mess her up.
Why are you even here?
Hello.
But you're gay.
Girl, please.
Nobody's that gay.
Hey, listen bitch.
Careful.
Because in about three drinks, you're
going to get all boo-hoo-ie and ask me to pump a baby in you.
You watch.
You guys should totally do that.
Dukes, I am going to be in huge trouble.
Right after I freeze to death. double dukes.
Man, I'm going to be in trouble.
Triple dukes.
What?
Dukes.
Try not to be unconscious too long.
It's super bad for you.
We look totally gay.
I am gay.
Well, I'm not.
Then why are you wearing that turtleneck?
And one, two, three, go hurt.
We're going one, two, three, down hurt.
Jeez, how about a little warning?
I said down hurt.
Hey, it's a happy ending.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just a big old goddamn fairy tale.
Fairy tale?
Um, phrasing?
Ray, I'm kidding.
Don't be like that.
Nothing is up my butt, Cyril.
Oh, or maybe there is.
I wouldn't know.
Because I'm paralyzed from the waist down and it's
Archer's fault.
Getting some mileage out of that, huh.
That's not helping.
Well, neither are you.
To reiterate, I am paralyzed.
Well, join a support group.
You got it.
You-- god damn.
Why won't you let me help you?
Besides the fact you'll probably kill me?
Yes.
Because it's wrong.
And I may have wandered pretty far from the church,
but I do still believe there are some things
that only God should do.
Like give you an erection?
I'm assuming you mean give me the ability
to have an erection.
Mallory, Ray can walk again.
Just pretend I'm--
who's your go-to movie star, you know, for--
Lorne Greene.
Time's kind of a factor here, so.
I am not ever sucking your taint.
Raymond Q. Gillette.
Yeah, you said immunity, I didn't.
Dukes, how is this my fault?
Because why do you always get paralyzed?
Because why do you always crash every goddamn vehicle
I get in? - Dukes.
I could walk.
And now I can't.
And ain't nobody loves old Ray no more.
Well, yeah.
You're disgusting.
You are no longer a cripple.
One, two, three, go.
Well?
Well, you could have done this weeks ago.
So it's about goddamn time.
Hang on a sec.
Yeah, touchy thing, bionics.
You were saying?
Thank you, Krieger, for once again,
giving me the precious gift of legs.
You're welcome.
Now if you will excuse me, I need to remove
my underwear with a blowtorch.
Dukes.
Ray.
You know?
OK, Ray.
Interface.
I'm sorry?
With the controls.
Beep boop boop boop.
Come on Cyborg.
R2-D2 it.
R2-D2 it?
Yeah, probe around in there and whatever.
Shut down the tractor beam.
With what?
My dick?
I-- however you normally do it.
I don't normally do it.
Can you please shut up and sew on my robot hand?
Rimshot.
That'd be a good porn name.
Mine would be Lance Biggerstaff.
I'm picturing a gay wizard.
- I always am. - Can't.
Why not?
Don't get shitty with me.
Her excuse was hamentashen, and you didn't even blink.
Since when do you get a free pass around here
just for having a vagina?
Cyril, you need any last minute pointers?
From you?
The Quarry may change, but never the hunt.
Now then, Gillette?
Hair and make-up, hair and make-up, hair and make-up.
Finished?
Yes.
Grip.
Goddamn it.
God damn.
Is it your feeding time already?
I wish you wouldn't antagonize him.
Well, I wish you could hold a tempo.
Which, clearly, sarcastic.
No, it wasn't.
OK, my turn. OK, hey.
- Hey, relax. - Hold on.
Hold on.
You gonna get yours.
You'll get a turn, man.
Can I, please?
Ray, take it easy, man.
Goddamn.
It I insist you let me share your marijuana cigarette.
I failed my induction screening.
Well, obviously.
This hotel is closed until further notice.
How can you close me up?
On what grounds?
I am shocked, shocked, to find that gambling
is going on in here.
Oh for--
Not to mention adultery.
He seduced my wife.
Arrest him.
Monsieur, this is French territory.
Of course adultery is not illegal.
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
You said I could have one.
Yes, one.
One, you cow bitch.
Arrest her.
Oh, no.
Never again.
I say bring her along.
With any luck, she will be torn apart
and eaten by wild animals.
Do something.
I, uh, commandeer this vehicle.
You what?
Mama's out in space.
Mama's doing stuff.
Mama's eating cake.
Cheryl, get to your fighter.
Lame.
Ray, you're still useless.
You know.
You think I like being a courtesan on a salvage ship?
I have a post-graduate degree.
What's it called?
A PHdong?
That's what they call it.
What the hell are you doing?
Killing myself.
Why, other than the obvious?
Oh, such a fatty.
Oh
Yeah, just seethe silently.
That'll show her.
Well, you're stuck here, too.
I'm always stuck here.
Everything can wait.
Ray, thank God.
We need your help.
Kind of in the middle of something.
Ray, our surgery pod is not designed for recreational use.
I've had my shakes in the fridge for months.
Why did you suddenly get annoyed?
Duke's.
Archer just made some little comment about it.
It's like he doesn't even have to try to cause problems.
- Ray. - But i just spent 3 hours--
- Ray. - --in a spider-filled ditch--
- Ray. - What?
Krieger knows.
Oh.
So when are you guys getting here?
You did that dumb winter sports thing.
Oh, you mean winning an Olympic bronze
medal in the giant slalom?
Is that the one with the brooms?
You know it's not.
Shut up, both of you.
Keep it together.
You're a man.
Yeah, that's the thing about real men.
Always saying they're men.
We need a horse.
Here's one ran out with a horse.
So I did this.
And we didn't have sex.
You and the horse?
Oh, the shame.
Just sit in it.
Where are you going?
I may have just found a clue.
Or I'm about to have the most degrading hate sex of my life,
which is saying something.
Your family tree is a circle.
I told you that in confidence.
Whoa, whoa.
What kind of moonshine-fueled hoedown
you got going on in your bloodstream right now?
I hate boring ass flights, team building, and most of all,
a third thing I just forgot, so between the four
Bloody Marys and the sleeping pills, Mr Sandman is coming.
Cold ass pouring rain.
Cheap ass binoculars.
That.
Welcome. Hey, y'all.
Come on in. Come on in.
Welcome.
All right, let's fill up from back to front.
Wait, Ray?
Archer.
This isn't what it looks like.
Unless it looks like I'm working for IIA, because then yeah.
Although, technically I'm temp to perm.
Damn it, I'm out.
Oh, wait, no I'm not.
Man IIA's got good taste in guns.
This isn't personal.
I genuinely value you as a coworker and a friend.
Who are you?
Oh, screw you guy.