Which is better:
A lily or a rose?
If you ask anyone, the answer will depend on their taste.
They might think a rose is better, or maybe a lily.
Or neither.
You might think: Who cares?
And you’re right.
It’s not even a real argument.
But too often, it is.
The truth is, each flower has its own unique beauty and essence.
You simply cannot compare the two.
I may be a lily and she may be a rose.
Is a lily better than a rose?
Or a rose better than a lily?
There is no real answer.
You can’t compare.
A rose is beautiful, but its beauty does not diminish the beauty of a lily.
A lily does not shrivel down and lose its worth when compared to a rose.
Quite frankly, the rose and lily together might make an interesting bouquet.
Now, think of all the bouquets you’ve seen.
Each of them, beautiful in their own right.
A unique mix of flowers artfully crafted to complement and balance each other out.
Each flower is beautiful on its own, but there is a new kind of beauty
when you bring different flowers together and allow them to coexist,
complement and collaborate with each other.
There’s an enhanced value and beauty that you can’t really measure.
So if we’re talking about the rose or the lily, and which one is better,
let’s just say: A rose is beautiful.
And a lily is beautiful.
They’re incomparable and it’s a waste of time to even try to compare.
Instead, let the rose complement the lily, and the lily complement the rose.
Let them come together to create something even more beautiful.
The next time you catch yourself comparing yourself to others… remember this:
“A flower does not think about competing with the flower next to it.
A flower just blooms.”
Hey guys!
Continuing this self worth mini-series on my channel,
let's talk about how to stop comparing ourselves to others,
because this is something I feel like everybody does
and it's so detrimental to our mental health.
It just holds us back and makes us feel less than.
It makes us feel not good enough or not worthy, and it's not helpful.
So what we gotta do is become aware of why we do this and how to stop doing it.
You and I both know that social media has made it so easy to compare ourselves to others
because we see perfection every day on our feeds, whether it's beautiful women on Instagram
or your friend just graduated or got nominated on a Forbes list or has a best-selling book
– it doesn't matter.
People are killing it and they're posting their highlights and achievements and their best selves online,
that it gets so easy to look at that and look at your life,
and feel like, "Oh my god, what am I doing with my life?"
It just makes you feel bad about yourself, and you feel less than.
If you didn't see my previous video on self worth, self esteem, and insecurity,
I talked about how comparing yourself to others stems from all this conditioning that we had from our parents,
our schooling system, and society conditioning us to compare ourselves to others.
Maybe your parents would compare you to your siblings or your cousins or people on TV.
And same thing in school: you felt compared to with your peers.
And now that we have access to the internet and social media, we see the best of the best,
the highlight reel of the best, the prettiest, the smartest people out there.
And we're like, "Well, what about me?"
You tend to compare yourself and it's just not doing you any good.
Always remember that comparison is the thief of joy,
because you might be feeling good about yourself.
You might make a small win – maybe you did really well on your test recently,
and you're feeling good about yourself, feeling good about life.
And then you open up social media and someone else does something even more epic.
And you're like, "Oh, well in comparison, what I did was not as cool as what they did,
and now I'm back to feeling bad about myself."
If you look at the world that way, you are always going to find someone who's than you at something.
Just when you thought you were the best, you'll find someone who's better and that's just how the world is.
But on the flip side, there's always someone who's worse than you.
So there's always someone better, someone worse than you in a specific area of life,
and I just feel like you can't judge people that way.
You can't categorize life that way because if you really open up the spectrum of life,
if you look at the big picture, each person lives such a unique life –
they have such a unique story, unique upbringing,
unique strengths, skills, talents, weaknesses –
that if you're comparing yourself to a separate person,
it's impossible to compare side-by-side because you're both so different.
You came from different backgrounds.
One person's better at this, you're better at that.
It's just not a fair comparison and it's not doing you any service to compare yourself that way.
I'm not saying that comparison is completely bad because in some cases, comparison is helpful.
It can be beneficial to your life if you're seeing what others are doing.
You can learn from them, you can be inspired by them.
I think when comparison hurts you is what we really need to be looking at.
There's a difference in whether comparison is helpful or not helpful,
and it all boils down to your foundation of self worth.
If you are a person that does not feel worthy, you have low self esteem,
then seeing other people's success will make you feel less than, sad –
it'll make you feel bad about yourself.
It's just gonna bring you down, and it's not helpful.
And that's the type of comparison that I'm addressing in this video, what we're going to try to overcome.
But if you are a person who feels worthy, who's super confident and has high esteem,
then seeing other people's success is going to inspire you and motivate you
and show you that it's possible to get there because they did it, meaning you can do it too – and it's positive.
Do you see the difference in comparison?
You can be comparing yourself to people and it can hurt you, if you have low self esteem.
But if you have higher self worth and self esteem,
then seeing that same person will have a positive effect on you,
then you can learn to improve and be inspired by them.
So it all boils down to working on yourself.
If you want to stop comparing yourself to others in a way that hurts you,
then you have to look within and ask yourself,
"Okay, why do I not feel worthy?
Why do I not feel good enough?
Why am I insecure?"
Again, I'm going to refer you to the previous video because I really broke it down,
how to build up your self worth and how to overcome your insecurities,
because once you have a stronger sense of self worth,
then you're not going to be as hurt by seeing what other people are doing
because you stand strong in yourself and you know that,
regardless of what's happening in the external world, you're good.
You love yourself and you're strong.
Another point that I have to make is:
So often, we let other people's success and other people's light diminish our own.
We shrink ourselves next to people that we think are better than us.
We shrink ourselves because we're like, "Oh my god, this person is so amazing … and I am not worthy.
I'm not on the same level as them."
Reality check: There are no levels in terms of who's worthier than the other person,
who's better than the other person because like I mentioned, everyone's unique.
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and you just can't compare one person to another.
You just cannot.
What we need to do is stop shrinking ourselves and feeling less than other people
because we are just as worthy, and we should stop attacking people out of insecurity.
Some people, when they're insecure, they attack on people who are successful
and seem like they have it all together and they inherently want to bring them down.
And that is just not healthy because that just stems from your own insecurity.
You think that you are down here and when you see someone doing well in life,
you want to bring them down?
It happens.
What you have to realize is that one person's success, beauty, light,
strengths, gifts, talents, everything, does not diminish what you have.
You are unique.
You have your own set of strengths, gifts, talents, life experience.
Everything that makes you amazing, beautiful, and so worthy, it is your own.
Nobody else has the exact copy of what you have, and so you are worthy.
Don't feel diminished by other people's worth and other people's light
because what we should do instead is support each other.
It's not a competition, it's a community.
And if you think about it in terms of the flowers,
different types of flowers are all inherently beautiful and worthy in their own way.
And some people might prefer certain types of flowers over others and that's okay
because it's just a matter of taste.
But the power is when you bring a bouquet of flowers together: different flowers,
and they come together as a community to make something bigger and better,
more beautiful than they were when they were standing alone.
And that's the same as with people.
When we come together as a community, we work together and lift each other up –
rather than competing and comparing ourselves to each other and bringing each other down –
the world just functions so much better, and with more positivity and more love and support.
And that's what we need.
We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other in the sense that the world is a competition
and you're trying to be better than the other, but rather just look within, work on yourself.
Find it in yourself to work on your self love, to boost your self worth, and to truly believe in yourself.
That is your duty as a human being and a soul on this planet,
is to learn to believe in yourself and your own worth.
And only then can you feel at a good place to lift each other up.
So just work on yourself.
Know that you cannot be compared to anyone else.
The only comparison you should be doing is with your older self.
You want to constantly be improving and better than the you that you were yesterday.
But outside of that, the journey is here within,
and once you get to a good place, you'll notice the shift in your thinking.
When you see other people succeed, it inspires you and motivates you, rather than making you feel less than.
I'm going to share an exercise that you guys can do to reprogram your mind to stop comparing
and stop that negative self talk and criticism, and rather:
flip it, rewrite it for positive thinking and thinking thoughts that support you.
You want to monitor your thoughts for the next three days.
Keep a journal close to you or just write it in your phone.
Whenever you notice yourself comparing yourself to someone else, write it down.
Write down: What was it that triggered your comparison thought?
What was the exact thought that you thought?
What were the words that you used in your head?
Just keep note of this for three days.
And after the three days is up, you'll have a list of the times
that you compared yourself with others and felt less than and felt insecure.
After you have your list of negative thoughts that you're thinking,
it's time to refute and rewrite those negative thoughts into positive ones
that actually help you and serve you in your life.
With each negative thought – and you'll notice that
it tends to be the same recurring thoughts about yourself,
like "I'm not pretty enough. I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough".
Whatever it may be, you'll notice patterns and you can start to literally change that thought,
replace it with a positive one and repeat those positive thoughts.
Literally drill it into your mind by repeating them every morning, every evening.
Keep them as a positive affirmations list on your phone
so that you refer to it as often as you can,
because the way to reprogram your thoughts is to:
Step 1) Become aware of them, and Step 2) Actually decide to change,
because your mind is powerful but you have control over your mind if you choose to do that.
And it's just a matter of changing your mind.
Sounds easy – I mean it could be easy or hard, depending on how you want to look at it.
What you're essentially doing is retraining your thought patterns.
And it's similar to building a new habit.
You guys know how to build a new habit, hopefully you watched my habit series.
You just start with one habit and work on the repetition and the consistency of that habit.
And if you fall off, just forgive yourself and try again when you can.
It's the same thing with these thoughts.
You're not going to be perfect.
You're going to find yourself slipping into those negative thoughts and self criticisms.
But you now have the tools to rewrite those thoughts,
and you have the positive affirmations that you can just repeat to yourself again and again.
I talked about this in my morning habits video, that the best times to reprogram your thoughts
and your subconscious mind is right before you fall asleep, and right upon waking.
Other times are: during meditation and sometimes even during exercise.
Anyway, I'll post links to articles about that because it has to do with neuroscience
and the state that your brain is in during those activities.
I believe it's called theta brain state.
I'm not a scientist, I'm not an expert on this, but I do know that repetition works, okay?
So give it a try and let me know how it goes.
And let me know your comments down below,
if you have any tips and tricks for people to stop comparing themselves to others.
For example: Get off social media.
If you notice a specific app or a specific account that just makes you feel bad about yourself, just cut it out.
Literally cut it out.
Get off, unfollow, do what you have to do to distance yourself from it
and try to build up those better, positive habits,
positive thoughts on the way to a better life,
so that you're not held back by comparing yourself to others,
because seriously, we are better when we each believe in ourselves
and when we can work together, when we can support and lift each other up.
So that's the goal with all of this.
Love you guys so much.
Let me know what you think of these self worth videos lately
and if you have any topics or suggestions for the future, leave them down below.
See you next time.
Bye!