- Hey a player, if you wanna get closer to your crush,
then you're gonna need their friends to not hate you
which might be a problem if they already do.
So, in this video, I'm gonna share a few tips
on what you can do to fix that situation,
so you and your crush can go out with each other.
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Now rivalries like this, you versus your crush's friends
don't come out of nowhere.
They generally have a starting point.
Maybe you said something, maybe you did something
or maybe they did something or said something
that annoyed the other person.
Either way, it's important for you to really
look at those factors and to take time
to try to understand what's going on.
Keep in mind the most important voices in your crush's ear.
When it comes to dating you is their friends.
They're gonna turn to their friends and ask them
how they feel about you.
So if you don't like their friends and their friends
are neutral towards you,
that's something you can work on and change.
But if it's a situation where they don't like you,
that's a bit different.
That's the thing where you're gonna need
to investigate further to really understand
why they don't like you.
Do they think you're weird or awkward or you're too silent
and you're not confident enough,
or you're just someone
that they don't really know that well?
Either way, try to understand their exact reasoning,
so you can do the best that you can
to get on their good side.
Now look, at the end of the day, they may just
still not like you.
They may be unwilling to budge or change,
or even give you a chance.
And if that's the case, the best thing you can do
is to try to be on a neutral platform with them.
Don't engage in any kind of negativity or name calling
or fighting because that's only gonna hurt your cause here.
Now, if you are gonna investigate
and really understand why they may not like you
I would recommend doing it one on one.
Talk to each friend individually, whenever you can
because when you talk to people on that one on one basis,
it's a lot easier for them to be honest and open with you.
When you do it to a whole group,
they can kind of just all silently fall together
and look at each other
and then no one really gives you a real answer.
So approach them one-on-one,
really try to befriend them one-on-one because remember,
your goal here is to get closer to your crush,
so, each friend that's on your side helps.
Now kindness is something you can also use
to your benefit here.
Every single time you see one of their friends,
introduce yourself, say hi, ask them how their day is.
Smile, make eye contact, do all the things you do initially
with your crush with them because look,
you wanna set that groundwork
where they're comfortable around you, where they look at you
and say, "Hey, this is a cool person
"that I can interact with."
That's the kind of relationship you want.
But if you ignore them, you don't talk to them
or you don't ever interact with them,
all they're gonna know about you is that you're some guy
that likes their friend and that's not gonna help them
get any closer to you.
So, you wanna kinda just dispel that mystery there
and let them see that you're a cool person
worth getting to know.
And sometimes your crush may be too shy
to share their real feelings for you.
If one of their friends brands you as weird
or creepy or annoying, it's gonna be hard for them
to step out of the pack and say,
"Yeah, you think about them,
"but I think they're actually a cool person."
But what if you're in a situation where only one
of their friends is a person that you deeply despise,
you find them super annoying and you can't stand them?
How would you ever make it work
between you and your crush knowing that
they're always gonna be there?
I think it's important to remember
that you can't choose your crush's friends.
So the best thing that you can do is to understand
why that person is so close to your crush?
Why does your crush value their friendship so much?
The better you can kind of dive deeper
into understanding their connection,
the easier it's gonna be
for you to start accepting that person.
And this isn't to say that you, your crush,
and their friends are all gonna be buddy, buddy
and everyone's gonna enjoy hanging out with each other.
At the end of the day, you only have control over
what you bring to the table.
So, if that person grows to never like you,
that's not something you can ever forcibly change.
The best thing you can do is to show your crush
that you're a good and kind person who's willing to extend
that level of friendship to their friend.
If they see that their friend is not willing
to extend it back, well, then hopefully your crush
can kinda decide for themselves that you two
are just not gonna get along and they can be okay with it.
Now you also might run into situations
where you're crush's friends just kind of prevent you
from talking to them all together.
So how do you kind of break through that barrier
and actually get through to your crush?
Well, like I said before,
the reason why they don't let you in is
because they don't really know you that well.
The more they get to know you,
the lower their defenses are gonna be and the easier
it's gonna be for you to just kind of sit
and hang out with their group and talk directly
to your crush.
And look, as you get closer to the group,
they're gonna stop paying attention to you
and stop focusing on you so much
and just go back to communicating with each other
leaving you open to talk to your crush directly.
This is something that I did when I asked out
my first girlfriend.
I'm gonna link of the video over here
in case you wanna go deeper into that story,
but basically I started by talking to the whole group
and then eventually the group was cool with me,
so I just focused on talking to my crush.
Look, unless you've done something insanely wrong
to your crush or one of their friends,
maybe you were mean to them or awkward or creepy,
either way, there's no reason for them to really hate you.
You might be playing it up just a little bit
by saying that they hate you and all it really takes
is for them to get to know you better.
So, don't shoot your chances down,
make the efforts to communicate with them
and to work on building the friendships that you want,
so, you can get closer to your crush
because that's what this is all about, isn't it?
And doesn't it just make sense to be on good terms
with your crush's family and friends
and anyone else they respect?
But now I wanna know what do you think here.
Are your crush's friends holding you back
from talking to your crush?
Are they really an obstacle in your way,
or are you just kind of using them as a crutch
to hold you back from pursuing your crush?
Be honest with me guys
and leave your comments down below.
The learning doesn't end there though.
If you wanna be a confident person
that people are drawn to,
check out my book "Embracing the Awkward,"
'cause I break down the formula on how to be
a more confident and likable person.
It's the formula that I use in my everyday life
and I think it can help you too.
Also tap on the playlist right there on your screen
to watch more videos on building better friendships,
how to get closer with people, how to get people
to like you.
It's important thing to know how to speak to people
in a way where they can feel comfortable opening up to you
and that playlist is gonna help you out.
And that no guys, I'll catch you next time.
As always love and peace.