Adults that care
for young children in a primary
role have first hand clues in
to what change might tell us about
children. Think about the
change and early loss children
may face.
Change is the only really
permanent thing in their life.
When you talk
about change in young children,
the kinds of losses that young children
experience are primarily
the early
losses that they have is sometimes just
moving away from their home. Sometimes
young families are changing homes
in early life. One
of the other losses that some children
experience is separation of parents
or divorce.
Sometimes it's a loss
of a pet. A pet may die.
Unfortunately,
about one
in twenty children experience
a loss of a parent before they graduate
from high school.
Change can often be
positive for children.
It can also disrupt
children's equilibrium and
trigger behavior we don't understand.
I think one of the things
I think of
is to
think about your children in your room,
and think about the
changes that are going on in each of
their lives.
Many of them are very positive
changes. They're growing, they're reaching
nonstop, but
think in particular
about the children
who may...
you may have some behavioral issues
in the classroom.
One of the first things I look
at in my assessment
process, is I look
at are there any family issues.
The last thing I do
is make a referral. The first
thing I do is talk
and see what's going on within the
family. There may be a sick grandparent,
and extended family
member. There may be
a change of jobs,
in the family. There may be
unemployment in the family.
These are are losses
that disrupt the equilibrium of
the child's life.
In an and of themselves
are enough to trigger
behavior that we don't understand.
And I look there first,
because change is the only
permanent part of human life,
is that thing change.
It might be the birth of a new baby.
So while
it a big gain,
it's a loss for the child.
They change
position in the family,
they go from being the only child
to being the first born,
being the oldest.
Think about
how you might connect with a child
going through any type of change.
From expected changes,
such as getting dressed, or
unexpected changes, such as
family move, or a deployment,
or even a death.
If they
lose a parent, very often the kinds
of losses we have in this environment
first is the loss of the grandparent,
but because young
children, they have
very little life experience
their coping mechanisms
are very fragile.
They have limited use of language.
Their ability to understand the permanence
of death is very
elusive, because they don't understand
time.
So it's really important
I always emphasize
to parents and to the
staff, is that we
connect with a child that's going through
any kind of change, from
the changes I described a few minutes ago
to the permanence of
the death of somebody that they'e loved.
As we observe children experiencing
change, we can become better
prepared to identify their needs
and respond.
We know from research
that within the first 24 hours of life
a child knows their mother's voice
from all other voices.
Any human
that has the capacity to love
and a child has that
at 24 hours,
has the capacity to grieve.
They may not have
language, but the
feeling associated with a separation
are there.
A child will become
irritable,
some become tearful,
just difficult, difficult to
settle, maybe sleep
patterns will be disturbed, eating patterns will be
disturbed, and we see
this all through the early years of life.
They just don't have the verbal skills to say what's happening
and that's why it's so...
I feel like it's so critical
that we connect deeply
with the children that we know and love,
and get down to the
level with eye
contact and just say
I know that something very
sad happened.
I think one of the most important things
when a child is grieving,
and I think that research and child
development specialist like pediatricians
and child psychiatrists and psychologists,
is to maintain a child's
routine as much as possible.
Children learn
primarily through their senses,
and build understanding on
experiences they have had in the past.
Therefore healing,
and comfort come from what children
know.
Children
learn primarily at this age
because they don't have language
they certainly don't have reading skills,
all their learning comes through their senses.
So how they know
things is what they've seen, what they've
touched, what they've tasted,
what they smell.
That's how they know.
So when you bring things to
them through their senses,
that's where the healing comes.
Visit Better Kid Care.
www.betterkidcare.psu.edu
We care, because you care.