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(Christmas melody)
Hey, y'all welcome back.
I am Mama Doctor Jones.
Board certified OBGYN
a mom of four
and today I'm reacting
to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's song,
"The Miracle of Birth."
Because 5,642 of you have told me
I need to react to the song.
So I'm finally doing it.
If you're new here and you'd like to subscribe,
I would love to have you.
We talk about all things,
pregnancy,
periods,
gynecology,
and everything in between.
Hit that subscribe button,
turn on notifications,
so you never miss an upload.
Let's jump into the video.
(upbeat music)
- Yeah, but like, does it hurt?
- Well, women report different levels of discomfort
depending--
- Pa pa pa pa
doctor no vagina.
Yes. It hurts,
but it is so worth it.
Okay. Listen up.
Mama is gonna tell you
how wonderful birth really is.
(uplifting music)
- I would agree that people report
different experiences with birth.
We shouldn't sugar coat it,
but we also shouldn't make people fearful of childbirth.
(uplifting music)
♪ Of all the mystery and wonder ♪
♪ And beauty on this earth ♪
♪ Nothing can compare ♪
♪ To the miracle of birth ♪
- I love the fall (laughs)
I love the falling rose petals.
♪ Well, your cervix has been closed ♪
♪ And plugged with mucus ♪
♪ but soon that viscous plug ♪
♪ will be discharged ♪
♪ It's called the bloody show ♪
- It's called the mucus plug,
but also a lot of people don't notice
their mucus blood going anywhere at all.
Some people will just notice
an increased amount of discharge
as they get closer to delivery.
Some people won't notice anything.
And some people will notice actual loss of a mucus plug,
which is just a glob that looks like snot.
Bloody show is sometimes associated with mucus plugs.
Sometimes you have a little bit of blood
that happens because the cervix has started
to dilate a little bit.
And it's really sensitive.
Just like the material that your gums are made of,
it's made of the same thing.
So when you brush your teeth,
when you're pregnant,
your gums are more likely to bleed.
The cervix is super sensitive as well.
So that explains why a little bit of cervical dilation
and loss of mucus plug
is sometimes associated
with something called bloody show.
This video is definitely going to get copyright claims.
So,
subscribe to make me feel better.
♪ And explosive diarrhea ♪
♪ Means that labor's drawing nearer ♪
♪ And those sharp painful contractions ♪
♪ Cause your cervix to enlarge ♪
♪ Beautiful. ♪
♪ Then you'll race your ass ♪
♪ Over to the hospital ♪
♪ Where they'll strap you in ♪ - Beautiful.
♪ For the hell ride of your life ♪
♪ It's what your body is made for ♪
♪ You'll soon be in so much pain ♪
♪ That you'll probably exclaim ♪
♪ Please just kill me now ♪
♪ Doctor, doula or midwife ♪
- For the record,
I have never had anybody ask me to kill them.
I have had people ask me
to please get the baby out right now.
I have had,
this is a funny story.
I don't know why that made me think of it.
But when I was a resident,
I had a patient come in who was very close to delivery
and she had her doula or maybe midwife
that they were going to do a home birth
and ended up coming,
I don't remember.
Someone was with her.
That was her support person.
And then her partner was also with her.
So she's in the middle of pushing
and she is screaming,
which is fine.
However, you deal with pain,
totally fine,
nothing wrong with screaming
in the process of pushing a baby out of your vagina.
And she looks over at her doula or midwife
or whoever was with her,
and she screams at her
and she says,
"you lied to me.
"last time I had an epidural
"and it was so much better."
And she's just screaming
and I'm just kind of trying to like diffuse it
because she was seeming like really angry at the midwife
who was like,
"I'm sorry,
"I'm just trying to like help you."
And so she looks at me,
the patient looks me in the eye
and I'm like,
okay, let's take a deep breath
and push your baby out.
And she looks me in the eye
and she goes,
"I hate you."
I will never forget that.
It's really like just seared into my brain.
♪ Tear, tear, tear ♪
♪ Goes your vagina ♪
♪ Never will it be ♪
♪ Its cute little self again ♪
- I know this is just a funny song
and I'm totally ruining it.
It is super cute and very funny.
But most of the time,
if you tear,
which a lot of people don't,
but if you do,
it does usually go back completely to normal.
So rest assured that
just because you're having a baby
does not mean that
you're destroyed for life.
It certainly can be.
I have seen that,
but most of the time it's not.
♪ But the good news is ♪
♪ If you have a few more kids ♪
♪ The rest will basically ♪
♪ Plop right out ♪
(laughs)
I wanna play this for my multip moms.
People who've had babies before
and come in and just deliver super easy
It almost always is easier with number two,
and it just gets progressively easier.
Usually this is an average.
And I have definitely had people,
who've had multiple babies
who ended up accidentally delivering
unintentionally at home or in the car,
in the elevator on the way up to labor and delivery.
So it does get easier.
♪ After hours and hours ♪
♪ Of utter torture ♪
♪ You may poop yourself and/or ♪
♪ Throw up as you bear down ♪
♪ Cause you're a goddess ♪
♪ And though-- ♪
- That's true.
You may poop.
You may throw up.
Both of those things are just fine.
And rest assured
your labor and delivery nurse,
your doula,
your midwife,
your doctor,
whoever's there.
We don't care.
in fact, we think it's a good thing
when you poop while pushing,
because that means you're pushing very well.
And if you throw up while pushing,
it is not enjoyable
to most people who are doing the pushing
and throwing up,
but it actually does help you push
because of the way that it increases
intra-abdominal pressure.
So, not fun.
Doesn't happen to everyone.
Most people don't throw up,
but I have definitely seen that.
I always feel really horrible for people who are vomiting
while their baby is crowning.
It's really,
I hate it for my patients when that happens,
but it doesn't happen that much.
♪ You've never been this tired ♪
♪ Wait ♪
♪ Here comes the ring of fire ♪
♪ That's your vagina bursting into flames ♪
♪ As the head starts to crown ♪
- I like how they pair it
with all of these beautiful children
who have probably entered the world exactly like that.
♪ Burn, burn, burn ♪
♪ Goes your vagina ♪
- No.
♪ And you'll curse and scream ♪
♪ Until you hear a cry ♪
♪ It's your baby ♪
- That's exactly what I do.
Every time I get a baby out,
I catch the baby and I go,
(shrieks excitedly)
it's your baby.
♪ It's your baby ♪
- I'm gonna start playing this
in background while I'm catching babies at work.
♪ And oops there it went a ♪
♪ That was the placenta ♪
♪ Which you must expel ♪
♪ Or you will surely die ♪
(melodious tune)
(laughs)
You probably won't die
if you don't expel your placenta.
I guess if it never came out, you might,
but it's gonna come out.
Like they don't just hang out in there.
Also is that what she's holding,
supposed to be representative of a placenta?
Because (laughs)
that is not what a placental looks like.
♪ It's all over the place ♪
♪ The baby on your breast ♪
♪ You maybe happy for a moment ♪
♪ But then for months you'll be depressed ♪
♪ Cause you've wrecked your life and body ♪
♪ you'll think was it really worth ♪
♪ All that for the miracle of birth ♪
- This has been very funny and enjoyable
to really horrible.
I don't like it anymore.
Everybody doesn't get depressed.
If you do get postpartum depression,
we can help you.
Just let us know that you feel that way
and we can get therapy,
maybe medication, if you need it.
it will get better.
It's okay.
I don't like this part.
- But of course it was.
(chimmimg tune)
Am I right Dr. Pratt?
Isn't it a beautiful--
(vomits)
(upbeat music)
- I do always take a little bit of issue
with people saying like,
oh, it's so beautiful
because it is
sometimes
a very beautiful lovely thing,
but it can be traumatic.
So I think we do people a disservice
when we present birth,
either as very scary,
very painful,
very horrible,
or very beautiful,
very perfect,
very idyllic.
Because the truth is
it can be either of those on the spectrum,
but most of the time
it falls somewhere in the middle.
I'm sorry for ruining everything on the internet
by having to throw in teaching points
or say I don't actually find funny things funny,
but that was good.
I liked it.
If you're new here and you'd like to subscribe,
hit that subscribe button,
turn on notifications
so you never miss an upload
and I'll see you,
next Monday.
(upbeat music)
If you wanna get in
on the Check Your Sources ugly sweater
design for a shirt or mug,
make sure you go to SHOP.MAMADOCTORJONES.COM
Very soon.
Holiday shipping deadline is this week.
I will see you,
next Monday.
(Christmas melody)