WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
WE MADE IT-- ALMOST, ALMOST.
I DON'T WANT TO GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES HERE.
IF DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T BLOW UP THE WORLD IN THE NEXT 25
MINUTE, WE WILL HAVE BEEN UNDER THE PRESIDENCY OF TRUMP FOR
EXACTLY ONE YEAR.
IT FEELS SO MUCH LONGER.
I THINK I'M AGING IN DOG YEARS NOW.
BUT NO MATTER THE UPS AND DOWNS OF THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY, HIS
POLLING NUMBERS HAVE REMAINED LOW.
HE ENDED HIS FIRST YEAR IN OFFICE AS THE MOST UNPOPULAR
PRESIDENT IN POLLLING HISTORY.
MAY I REMIND YOU THAT LIST INCLUDES WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON,
WHO DIED 31 DAYS INTO HIS.
TERM.
WE ALL REMEMBER HIS CAMPAIGN SIGNS.
NOW-- TOO SOON?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: DIDN'T REALIZE HIS CHILDREN WERE HERE TONIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ) TO CELEBRATE HIS FIRST YEAR IN
OFFICE, TRUMP SAT DOWN WITH REUTERS FOR A 53-MINUTE
INTERVIEW WITH A FRESH DIET COKE NEAR AT HAND ON HIS DESK.
YES, TRUMP'S NEVER FAR FROM HIS DIET COKE.
IT'S HIS ONLY BROWN FRIEND.
( LAUGHTER ) THEN, TRUMP-- TRUMP REFLECTED ON
WHAT HE HAD LEARNED OVER HIS TIME IN OFFICE.
"I LOVE WASHINGTON, BUT IT'S A MEAN PLACE."
YES, WASHINGTON IS TERRIBLE.
I HEARD ONE GUY DOWN THERE CALLED ALL OF AFRICA A
(BLEEP)-HOLE.
AND WITH ALL THE TALK ABOUT TRUMP'S RECENT PHYSICAL, THE
PRESIDENT SHARED HIS WORKOUT ROUTINE WITH REUTERS, SAYING, "I
GET EXERCISE.
I MEAN, I WALK, I THIS, I THAT."
OH YEAH, HE THIS, HE THAT.
I HEARD IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS ON THE VARSITY THIS/THAT TEAM.
BUT, YOU KNOW, PROUD OF HIS PHYSIQUE, TRUMP WENT INTO A
LITTLE BIT MORE DETAIL.
"I RUN OVER TO A BUILDING NEXT DOOR.
I GET MORE EXERCISE THAN PEOPLE THINK."
SO, "ANY."
BUT I THINK THIS SHOWS HOW TRUMP CAN REALLY CONNECT WITH ORDINARY
AMERICANS, BECAUSE WE, LET'S FACE IT, DON'T EXERCISE AS MUCH
AS WE SHOULD.
BUT IF ANYONE ASKS, WE'RE LIKE, "I DO CARDIO.
I MEAN, I WALK TO MY CAR, FROM MY CAR, BACK TO MY CAR.
LAST NIGHT, I DID AN HOUR OF VODKA CURLS."
TRUMP EXPLAINED WHY EXERCISE ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT TO HIM:
"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN MORE OF A BELIEVER IN DIET BECAUSE I'M
STRONG, YOU KNOW?
I HIT THE BALL FAR.
I MEAN, I'M STRONG, PHYSICALLY."
OH, YES, TRUMP STRONG.
TRUMP HIT BALL FAR.
(LAUGHTER) THAT'S WHY HE USES TWO HANDS TO
DRINK WATER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Jon: THE CHALICE.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THIS FILLED WITH?
WHAT IS THIS MADE OF, LEAD?
YEAH, TRUMP BELIEVES IN DIET BECAUSE EXERCISE ISN'T THAT GOOD
FOR YOU.
"A LOT OF PEOPLE GO TO THE GYM, AND THEY'LL WORK OUT FOR TWO
HOURS AND ALL.
I'VE SEEN PEOPLE... THEN THEY GET THEIR NEW KNEES WHEN THEY'RE
55 YEARS OLD, AND THEY GET THEIR NEW HIPS, AND THEY DO ALL THOSE
THINGS.
I DON'T HAVE THOSE PROBLEMS."
YES, DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T HAVE THE PROBLEMS COMMONLY ASSOCIATED
WITH WHAT DOCTORS CALL "MOVEMENT."
( LAUGHTER ) "MY LEGS ARE IN MINT CONDITION,
BARELY USED.
I KEPT THEM IN THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING.
( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE WORTH A FORTUNE ON
eBAY."
NOW, FOR HIS PHYSICAL, TRUMP DID HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
AS HE EXPLAINED: "I WAS ON A TREADMILL FOR THE FIRST TIME,
IN ACTUALLY QUITE A WHILE, AND IT WAS AT A VERY STEEP ANGLE.
AND I WAS THERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
THEY WERE SURPRISED.
AND THEY SAID, 'WELL, YOU CAN STOP NOW.
THAT'S AMAZING.' AND I SAID, 'I CAN GO MUCH
LONGER THAN THIS IF YOU WANT ME TO.'"
( AS TRUMP ) "YEAH, I CAN GO AS LONG AS YOU
WANT.
I COULD EVEN TURN THIS THING ON.
GO AHEAD.
I'M NOT AFRAID.
DO IT."
♪ WE CAN TURN IT ON ♪