Greetings, and welcome to Earthling Cinema. I am your host, Garyx Wormuloid. This week’s
artifact is Interstellar, produced by SyncopyFilms co-founder Emma Thomas and directed by her
baby daddy.The film takes place on Earth during the 21st century, right after Hurricane Sandy.
Matthew McConaissance plays Cooper, a family human who lives in a haunted house. But when
the ghost gives him a set of coordinates, he discovers a secret NASA station run by
his old butler, Alfred. I mean Dr. Brand. Brand wastes no time bragging about a cool wormhole
he found. They already sent some peeps through and found a couple replacement planets for
the one they just finished ruining. Now all they need to do is take some embryos there
in order to spread the disease that is the human race. And who better to do it than Coop,
a man who five minutes earlier they didn’t give two shits about. Must have been the plan
all along, right guys? Who cares, because this humble farmer is the best goddamn astronaut
anyone has ever seen.
"You're the best pilot we ever had."
Coop heads off to space with Brand’s daughter Amelia, a robot named
TARS, and a bunch of other people who don’t matter because they all die. They go to an
ocean planet near a black hole where time is not on their side, unlike that song
where time is on someone’s side.
"Every hour we spend on that planet will be seven years back on Earth."
And for some reason the dude up in the shuttle isn’t
even that mad, considering he had to just sit there for 23 years contemplating this sick burn.
"That's the wormhole!"
"Say it, don't spray it, Rom."
Oh ho sh*t, you see that!?
"Say it, don't spray it, Rom."
That stings. Antiseptic ointment, that's gonna sting tomorrow.
Next they go to an ice planet, where they find Matt Damon, an actor known for exclusively
playing astronauts. Only he turns out to be a bad guy astronaut, which is not very Sexiest
Man Alive 2007 of him. Matt Damon tries to kill everyone and steal their ship, but the
good guys stop him by being the best goddamn astronauts anyone has ever seen. Just then,
they start to get sucked into the black hole, so Coop panics and jumps overboard. The black
hole turns out to be some kind of intergalactic bookstore. Coop looks behind the bookshelves
and sees Murphy’s bedroom through the years, though thankfully not when she’s jerking
it or anything. Coop realizes he was that pesky ghost all along, and uses morse code
to give her the data she needs to solve the big space equation, which he somehow figured
out I guess. Coop is found drifting near Saturn fifty years later and brought to an orbital
colony where his elderly daughter is about to die. That’s the thing about daughters:
they keep getting older, you stay the same age. After talking to her for less than a
minute, he leaves again to go see if Amelia wants to spaceship and chill.
Interstellar explores humanity’s relationship with its own extinction, though too little too late if you ask me.
There there, don’t cry. It’s over now. Shh shh shh. Dr. Brand desperately
wants to save his species, but fears that humans are too egocentric to help preserve
mankind’s future unless they can also save themselves or their loved ones.
"I've got kids, professor."
"Get out there and save them."
He repeatedly quotes Dylan Thomas’s “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night,” a poem
that urges perseverance against death, even when the fight seems hopeless.
Ironically, he quotes the poem so much that it makes you want to kill yourself.
"Do not go gentle into that good night."
"Do not go gentle."
"Go.... gentle."
Dr. Mann serves as a perfect exemplification of Brand’s fear, and his name subtly reminds us that he is
representative of all Earthlings. Mann talks a big game about sacrifice, but when it comes
down to it, he don’t got the stones. Like Brand, Mann is well versed in the poetry of survival,
"Do not go gentle into that good night."
but unlike Brand, he’s just talking about his OWN survival. When humans are truly
tested, their selfishness always comes through in the clutch.
"Don't judge me Cooper, you were never tested like I was. Few men have been."
At the beginning of the film,
it seems Cooper is equally shortsighted. The only reason he accepts Brand’s mission is
because he wants to save his daughter, and also his son a tiny bit. But at the end when
he realizes his dadbod is weighing down the ship, Coop sacrifices himself so Earth could
continue its love affair with Anne Hathaway. Does Coop disprove Brand’s theory about
human nature? Or does he represent something more than human, like a werewolf?
At various points of the film, Coop represents a different aspect of the Holy Trinity, from
the book “Bible,” by Jesus. Like Jesus, Coop sacrifices himself to save the human
race, and is subsequently resurrected by a passing spaceship. While browsing at Barnes
& Nova , he becomes God the Father - an omnipotent entity who transcends time and space like
it’s his job. And he turns out to be Murphy’s “ghost,” so, you know, Holy Spirit. If
that’s not enough Bible shit for you, the twelve astronauts who explore the wormhole
on the first mission can be likened to the twelve apostles of Jesus, missionaries charged
with spreading the word of Christ. The space station that rescues Earth’s refugees parallels
Noah’s Ark, in that no more than two of any race is allowed on board.In keeping with
its religious themes, Interstellar is decidedly critical of scientific thought. Throughout much of the film,
decisions made in the name of rational thought tend to end disastrously. For example, Amelia’s
attempt to recover scientific data on the ocean planet costs the crew 23 years and results
in the death of an expendable redshirt. Similarly, after careful deliberation of the facts, the
crew chooses to visit Mann’s planet, which turns out to be a real oopsie. The crew ignores
Amelia’s insistence that they visit Edmund’s planet because they distrust her lovesick puppy eyes.
The film posits that the most powerful force in the universe is love.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space."
It’s like the Beatles
sang, “All you need... is a yellow submarine.” Coop’s connection with his daughter is what
enables him to find her in the non-fiction section. And Murph’s love for her father
is the reason she keeps the watch he uses to communicate with her. Then again, if it’s
between love and a photon destabilizer, I’m choosing the destabilizer every time.
For Earthling Cinema, I’m Garyx WormHOLEuloid. Goodbye.
Hello earth enthusiasts, thanks for watching.