You have the charisma of a damp rag!
Damp rag!
You have the appearance of a bank clerk!
Bank Clerk!
Who are you? I'd never heard of you!
Eat my poo!
Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But I have no doubt that it's your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy.
Perhaps that's because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country.
We don't know you, we don't want you!
The sooner you're put out to grass, the better!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!
Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Don't make me have to start World War III !
Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
We don't know you, we don't want you!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
was surprised to read that he died.
How can he read if he's dead?
Chief Justice John Roberts
was the last to know he resigned.
Maybe he should check his head!
All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock
that proliferated online.
I do it all the time, makin up s--- is so sublime.
But that of course is little solace for the reader
who simply wants to surf the web
without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies.
You can't protect the web from a--holes like me, shorty!
Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool
Don't play me for a fool you know as well as I,
we're both getting owned by the
Rip, riptide of lies
pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies
Pure poppycock!
I want to surf, surf the web
without getting pulled under
by a rip, riptide of lies!
You hit on a guy at a wedding.
Iů Iů So
Explain that one first.
Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve,
everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there,
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her,
I grabbed a bachelor.
Now they're sayin I groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did! - Um. - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
A manly back-rub. Just a back rub!
We all live together, all the bachelors and me.
Naked in the tub!
You can take anything out of context!
Huggin!
You can take anything out of context!
Scrubbin!
You can take anything out of context!
Rubbin and humpin!
Yeah! Ticklin and jumpin!
Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn't breathe,
then four guys jumped on me.
It's my fiftieth birthday.
Whether you're telling the truth or not,
An avalanche is coming your way.
An avalanche of lies,
pulled under by an avalanche of lies!
Whether you're telling the truth or not,
you're guaranteed to get caught
in an avalanche of lies!
Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth -
But we already drank the brandy.
My boss tickles me like a true G,
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin' when I'm askin' him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, I'm a goner
Tryna pretend that I don't notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just dropped his drawers and pulled out his vagina!
Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall,
you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls!
You have to be a soldier, a real man,
to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand!
Ain't nothin wrong with a Massa massage
when you're in a chronic platonic quintuple menage!
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can't escape
Tryna pretend they don't notice when he ejacu- -