- [Babish] This episode is sponsored by SimpliSafe,
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(Bart, Marge, and Lisa munching)
- Why are these noodles orange?
- I made it with Cheetos, just like you like it.
If the sauce is too thick, I can add more root beer.
- Maybe I'm just not hungry.
- [Babish] Hey, what's up, guys?
Welcome back to "Binging with Babish,"
where this week, we're taking a look
at the Cheeto, root beer, and hot dog noodles
from "The Simpsons," for which, as you can see,
I have the titular ingredients laid out here before me.
The method for this dish is unknown,
so I'm just gonna have to improv a little bit,
bringing, and I never thought I'd say this,
four cups of root beer to a boil.
It's gonna be hard to tell when this is boiling
because of the, uh, the bubbles.
I think that's boiling,
so now I'm gonna add a pound of spaghetti,
keeping it moving immediately upon insertion
so it doesn't stick together.
It appears to be extra sticky,
probably because of the sugar in the root beer.
And then for flavor, color, and thickening the sauce,
we're gonna add a whole bunch of Cheetos.
Whether they're crunchy or puffed I think hardly matters.
Just gonna keep cooking this under cover
so it doesn't get too thick
until the pasta is cooked through,
and whoop, almost forgot the hot dogs.
Just gonna chop these guys up and add them
right at the end so as to heat through,
and I gotta hand it to Marge,
this is a pretty easy one-pot meal.
But how's it taste?
Well, luckily, it's my job to taste this stuff
so you don't have to, and I gotta say,
really, really, truly awful: a halting combination
of cheesy, corny, hot doggy and alarmingly sweet.
I can see why very young children
or cartoon characters might like this,
but I think we can do a whole lot better.
About the only savory application
I can imagine for root beer is in a braise,
so we're gonna start by sauteing some mirepoix
in a little bit of neutral-flavored oil
like vegetable or canola until it's deeply caramelized,
adding one clove of crushed garlic
and a couple tablespoons of tomato paste
and sauteing together until the garlic is fragrant
and the tomato paste is sticking to the bottom of the pan.
Then we are deglazing with two cups of root beer.
Make sure to scrape up all that good stuff
off the bottom of the pot.
Then I'm gonna add a couple sprigs
of fresh thyme and parsley,
and in place of our hot dogs,
some nice bone-in beef short ribs,
which I'm placing in the pot bone side up.
Then I'm going to add enough homemade chicken stock
so that the short ribs are only peeking up
about an inch above the liquid.
Then this entire affair is headed
into a 325 degree Fahrenheit oven
for anywhere from three to four hours.
Halfway through cooking,
we're flipping the beef short ribs over
so that they get even caramelization,
topping up with another cup or two
of chicken stock if necessary
and cooking until they're fall-off-the-bone tender
and they have a deep brown crust.
I know these guys look a little dark.
I think that's because of all the sugar in the root beer.
But trust me when I say that they're very tender,
very juicy, and surprisingly delicious.
Root beer has all different kinds of spices,
and as you can imagine, various roots in it,
and when braised, it actually makes
for a pretty lovely, savory flavor.
So we're gonna save all this sauce,
placing it in the fridge for a few hours so we can defat it,
during which time we can make our Cheeto pasta.
Into the bowl of a food processor,
I am combining 5 1/2 ounces of all-purpose flour,
1 1/2 ounces of masa,
and 1/2 ounce of cheddar cheese powder.
This should give us a corny,
cheddary flavor, not unlike Cheetos.
Then I'm measuring out five ounces of eggs,
lightly beating them together
and pouring them into the food processor.
Mash and go and processing
for anywhere from one to two minutes
until the ingredients come together
to form an alien orange dough
that springs back with vigor when poked,
indicating that we have good gluten development.
If it doesn't spring back,
go ahead and process it for another 15 to 30 seconds.
Then we're kneading it together by hand for a little bit,
just to make sure that everything's evenly incorporated,
and wrapping in plastic wrap
and letting rest at room temperature for 30 minutes
before rolling out ever thinner
by virtue of a pasta roller, laminating as necessary
if the dough is tearing or doesn't feel very strong,
and cutting into Cheeto fettuccine.
Fettucheeto. Cheetoccine.
Rinse and repeat with the remaining dough,
twisting the pasta into little nests
on a well-floured rimmed baking sheet,
covering and fridging until ready to use.
Now it's time to defat our cooking liquid.
As you can see, I spread it out
onto a quarter sheet 'cause I thought
that would make the fat easier to peel off,
but it turns out, I'm just gonna strain it.
Then I'm gonna taste it for seasoning,
and it turns out, it's shockingly salty.
I don't know where all the salt came from,
maybe my chicken stock.
But mostly we're just tasting it
because it tastes good and interesting and weird.
Next up, I'm removing and shredding the beef from the bone,
discarding any gristle or sinew and tearing
into bite-size pieces that can be snacked on by the chef,
but are also gonna be perfect for our pasta,
which I'm going to form a sauce
with about a cup of the braising liquid,
placing that into a high-walled saute pan
along with the beef and simmering.
Once that starts to thicken,
I'm gonna cook our Cheeto pasta in some boiling water
for anywhere from 30 to 90 seconds until nice and al dente,
lowering the heat on the beef,
and then once the pasta is nearly ready,
I'm gonna dump it straight into the sauce
and finish cooking it in there.
Go ahead and toss everybody together,
and once the sauce has reached an agreeable consistency,
I'm gonna make this dish a little less healthy
than it already is.
Kill the heat and mount with butter.
This is not only going to lighten up the color of the sauce,
it's gonna make it extra creamy and flavorful.
Go ahead and taste for seasoning.
Mine does not need any, so it's time to plate up.
I'm gonna use the ol' carving-fork-and-a-soup-ladle trick
to get my pasta in a nice nest.
Then, of course, I'm going to supplement
with lots and lots of braised short rib.
And just in case this dish has strayed too far
from its roots, let's bring back some of the old flavor,
microplaning a crunchy Cheeto over top and, whoop,
over top like Parmesan or black truffle.
And there you have it, folks:
an actually-halfway-edible bowl of Cheeto,
root beer, and quote-unquote "hot dog" noodles
which has a very unique, savory, corny, cheesy flavor,
which I wouldn't describe as delicious so much as addicting,
because before I even knew it was happening,
this guy ended up in the clean plate club.
Thank you again to SimpliSafe for sponsoring this episode.
I was able to get the house set up
with my security system in under an hour,
including the new wireless outdoor security camera.
I also have sensors to cover every room, window, and door,
plus a temperature sensor and a carbon monoxide detector.
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the police will be called after any alerts.
Visit simplisafe.com/babish to learn more
and get 30% off your SimpliSafe security system.
(easygoing upbeat music)