- Welcome to "Therapist Reacts Raw,"
where I respond to something that I've never seen before
that my producer puts before my very eyes
and I react to it in real time.
So this is "Bridgerton."
I've never watched "Bridgerton."
I understand that it is like Jane Austen
if you have a international cast
and a lot more sex.
That's what I understand about "Bridgerton."
But I've been told that Daphne and Simon
are pretending to be in love with each other
for appearances' sake, and they have a sham engagement.
They get married and that's where we are.
That's what I know.
So let's see what happens.
(bright, whimsical music)
(romantic, sweeping music)
- We should go down to dinner.
(Daphne gasps) Daphne?
Are you not hungry?
The food is excellent, I assure you,
the last time I visited-
- I do not want any dinner.
- I've misread my...
- I've spent the last three days-
- My love that.
- Wanting to be alone with you, wanting to talk to you,
wanting to know...
I understand that you do not wish to see me,
that you would prefer to stay in your separate room
and endure a wordless dinner together on our wedding night-
- Right- - That is not
as I would prefer. - 'Cause it's a sham.
Right?
- You're mistaken. - They're pretending.
Are they not pretending?
- You have avoided my presence.
- In order to allow you your liberty.
- Become something else?
- You've said all but a few words to me.
- In order to keep myself from saying the wrong things.
- You've barely been able
to meet my eyes. - Amen.
- Because I could not bear witness to the misery
I have caused you.
- You did not.
- On her honor, she has to-
- I am the one who trapped you into this marriage.
- I trapped you.
- By groping you.
- I have spent the last three days in agony,
unable to talk to you, unable to be alone with you,
because I knew you wanted nothing to do with me.
- Oh.
- And understandably so, after forcing you to make
an unimaginable sacrifice.
You wanted a life with children.
- But she just said that she has wanted
nothing else but to see him for three days,
and he ignored that cue, and very often,
we don't want to get hurt, and so,
we ignore positive cues because we're so used
to negative ones, we're so used to rejection,
we're so used to pain, that we kinda catch a whiff
of this guy could actually go my way,
and I don't know if I'm ready to believe it yet,
because if I believe in it, then I get invested,
if I get invested, I can get destroyed.
So it's not just male stupidity.
I'm just gonna say that because very often,
it is chalked up to male stupidity,
like I sent signals and he didn't get them.
Speaking as a male of at least decent intelligence,
oftentimes, it's scary to believe that the thing
that you want the most is actually gonna come true.
Right?
Now he's saying he can't have children,
and that she wants children.
That's, yeah, if you're dating somebody
and you want to have a family,
and they, I guess he can't, and I don't know
what adoption's like in Victorian England,
yeah, that could be a real deal breaker,
you know, like, shared values on major issues is crucial.
So he's saying, I can't give you children,
this was all for pretend anyway, for public appearances,
I don't understand the context of that.
Maybe you "Bridgerton" people can tell me
in the comments below why they were pretending
to be in love and engaged,
but I do understand that they had to get married
because he was getting frisky in the garden, right?
And here we go.
- A family.
You wanted a life with a man you truly knew.
You wanted a love match, and yet-
- And yet, this could not be any more different.
Is that what you hoped to say?
- We don't really love each other.
- (sighs) I shall join you for dinner momentarily.
(Daphne breathes shakily)
- Everything I told the Queen was true.
- So clearly, they're in love with each other
and neither of them are seeing it.
I think she's afraid to see it, too.
- [Simon] I cannot stop thinking of you.
- Ooh.
- From the mornings you ease,
from the evenings you quiet,
to the dreams you inhabit,
my thoughts of you never end.
- Well played, sir, well played.
- I am yours, Daphne.
I have always been yours.
- I...
(Jonathan laughs)
- What? - Don't understand.
- I do not know how to be any more clear.
- Exactly. - Do not get angry.
- I am not angry. - You look angry
and bothered.
Look at you, you're downright flushed.
- Yes, that is what happens.
- When one is angry.
- When one burns for someone who does not feel the same.
- You...
- Sounds like my college experience.
- Why do you think I followed you into that garden?
- I must've seemed angry
all the time. - Why do you think
I went into that garden?
- Oh.
- If you would've only looked at me this week,
for longer than two seconds, you would have seen.
It is you I cannot sacrifice.
- Oh. Ee!
- I burn for you.
- That's both very sweet
(gentle, romantic music) and very erotic.
Whoa.
What's? Okay.
(gentle romantic music)
Okay.
I see what they're going for here.
Well, good for them.
See, clear communication is a beautiful thing.
When we let our fears go and we just, oh.
- (gasping) I want you, Simon.
- Do you want me to stop?
- I'm at work. Is this safe for work?
- Do you want me to stop?
- Aw, consent is key.
- I want to show you more.
(Daphne gasps)
(Jonathan snorts)
- Sorry, at my heart, I'm a 12 year old.
Whoa!
I never used that line. (laughs)
Obviously, I mean, there's a lot going on here
and I explained a lot of it as I saw it,
but I do think it was beautiful at the end there
that he stops and he says, "Do you want me to stop?"
Instead of all systems go, she said yes,
or she gave some sort of positive indication,
so we're just gonna go for it.
That's how a lot of tragedies happen.
Part of sexuality is not just the sex itself,
but what leads up to it and in the relationship,
and paying attention to not just what you want,
what you feel like you need, but responding to the cues
that you're getting from the other person,
which can be difficult to do when you're hot and bothered
because when we get aroused, we just don't think
really clearly anymore, generally,
and I'm not saying just sexually aroused.
Anger, fear, any type of arousal,
you know, we just run on the sheer instinct of it all.
But it's an act of love to rein it in a little bit,
and make sure everything's okay, and if it's not okay,
to respect that, right, because love is selfless,
right, love is what are you comfortable with?
What makes you happy?
What makes you afraid, you know?
I'm not going to push,
as there's a line in "Mary Poppins,"
like you never think of pressing your advantage, right?
I'm not gonna press my advantage.
Unless you're 100% in, I'm gonna back off and that's okay.
Not only is it okay, it's wonderful,
and that is how, by the way,
you earn trust and you build trust.
All right, "Bridgerton."
I mean, yes, it is Jane Austen with a global cast
and more sex, but this is actually very sweet
and well written and well acted.
"Bridgerton" fans, what other scenes should I react to?
Let me know in the comments below.
If you all liked this video, check this one out.
Lots of fun, because I react raw to stuff all the time.
If you'd like some help with your dating
or committed relationships, you can schedule
with a member of my team.
Link is in the description to schedule
a complimentary, 15-minute consultation.
So please take advantage of that.
So as always, keep shining, because we need your light.
I'm Jonathan Decker, signing off.
(bright, whimsical music)