[Music]
take a moment
to think about how you respond
to disappointment do you
hold it in do you panic
are you consumed with feelings of
anxiety or hopelessness
or does a single disappointment throw
your entire day off
so there's nothing wrong with setting
the bar high
but it is time to review your response
to disappointment
if your expectations cause you to sink
into
a state of anxiety
[Music]
on the surface seeking perfection
seems like a great quality but at the
root of
perfectionism is fear
fear of failure fear of making a mistake
fear of being laughed at fear
of people finding out that you don't
really have it all together
but nobody has it all together we all
have strengths and weaknesses
yes there will be times when you give
your all and still fail to achieve the
result that you expected
but don't panic every challenge
is an opportunity for you to see just
how strong
and resilient you really are
you should never view your challenges as
a disadvantage
instead it's important for you to
understand that your experience facing
and overcoming adversity
is actually one of your biggest
advantages
how strong is your why it's not enough
for you to just say i want to do well
you have to believe that you will do
well and you have to pursue it
you have to keep going when you run into
challenges
or tough times those who succeed are not
fearless
they had to show up even when they were
afraid
at some point they probably felt like
they were at the end of their rope
but guess what they recognized
that it's okay to rest it's okay
to take a break it's okay to take some
time to pull your thoughts together
but it's not okay to quit
a past failure does not determine
your future outcome no you can't go back
and change what has already happened
but you do have the power to create an
amazing future
so as you continue to press towards your
goals
never allow your disappointments to
discourage you let
them fuel you
success isn't about how your life looks
to others
it's about how it feels to you
we realize that being successful isn't
about being
impressive it's about being inspired
and that's what it means to be your true
self
because i always wanted everything to be
perfect
it was difficult for me to be happy it
was always
i will be happy when i land the job that
i want
or i will be happy when i get this 4.0
that i'm striving for
but even when i achieved the goal that i
had been working towards
there was always another goal that i
needed to achieve
before i could truly be happy in the
end people can only define you if you
let them
in the end it's up to each of us to
define ourselves
it's up to each of us to invent our own
future with the choices we make and the
actions we take
in retrospect i didn't give myself room
to be imperfect
it was all or nothing good or
bad don't get me wrong
being ambitious and wanting to do well
is a great
trait it's a great quality
but i do want you to understand that all
you can give
is your best
so maybe you spent hours preparing for
an exam
or days working on a paper but when you
receive your grade
it was much lower than you expected
if you are an achiever if you are a
perfectionist
those experiences can crush you
as a student if i expected a 100
and i received a 90 i would be upset
i would be crushed if i gave
a presentation and i stumbled a couple
of times
i would walk away feeling like a total
failure
and it didn't matter how much positive
feedback i received from others
it never changed what i thought about
myself i would say to myself well
they're just being nice
they just don't want to hurt my feelings
but it's in those moments of despair
when you can begin to doubt yourself and
doubt your ability to succeed
it's in those moments when you can sink
into a slump
because you feel like you're doing all
you know to do but you're still
not seeing the results that you desire
to see
i worked hard and i did my best to tune
out those voices of doubt
including the ones inside my own head
and eventually i was accepted to
princeton and
i got that education that my dad had
always dreamed of
but the truth is graduates there will
always be folks who make assumptions
about you based on
superficial things like where you're
from
or what you're wearing or how you look
there will always be folks who judge you
based on just
one thing that you say or do folks who
define you based on one
isolated incident
putting forth your best effort
doesn't guarantee the outcome that you
desire
but put forth your best effort
anyway you won't always be able to
control every aspect of your life
but you can control your effort you
can't control how you respond when
things don't go your way
and although a disappointment feels like
a loss
you really aren't losing at all when you
don't get the results that you want
you are simply receiving feedback
so you take that feedback and you come
back stronger than you did the first
time around
when you are disappointed your emotions
automatically kick in
it's an impulse but make sure
that you don't allow a single
disappointment
to overshadow all that you have
accomplished
up until this point
so if you're feeling down right now i'm
challenging you to get up and get
moving i'm challenging you to pull that
book out
i'm challenging you to mentally prepare
yourself to win
don't allow a rejection to crush your
confidence
you have to remember why you started
you have to remember why you decided to
pursue your vision in the first place
[Music]
you