all right nine things to do before a
date number one don't prepare questions
or plan conversations beforehand this is
what a lot of people say you should do
they'll tell you to go into the mirror
and practice having a conversation with
yourself and pretend you're the girl
aside from making it look like you're a
sociopath who's talking to yourself in
the mirror it's also really really
stupid I mean hell what are you gonna do
when your mom walks by the bathroom when
knocks on the door asking Jimmy who
you're talking to in there what are you
gonna say you're gonna make her think
she's raised a lunatic not only that but
it defeats the whole purpose of the date
the point is to interact with her
organically and see if you guys are a
fit trying to memorize a bunch of lines
and planning out conversations is
totally pointless because you'll be too
busy and stressed out trying to memorize
and regulate all the nonsense
that you won't be able to have a fluid
and successful interaction with a girl
at all
additionally when you go into a date and
try to memorize a bunch of lines and
things to say what you're really saying
to yourself subconsciously is that what
you have to say and who you are is not
good enough and if you engage and all
these behaviors that make you feel like
you aren't good enough then how the hell
are you gonna spend two hours on a date
convincing the girl that you're good
enough for her to go home with you
number two face timer to make sure she's
real this way you don't end up getting
bored in and kidnapped in on next week's
episode of Dateline NBC or World News
Tonight with David Muir it's 2019 and I
know a lot of you younger guys prefer
online dating so you don't have to
actually go out and approach girls but
hey I don't want any of my subscribers
going out and getting lured into a dark
alleyway and thrown into a van with you
know free candy written on the side
number three confirm the date with a
girl the day off
younger girls are flaky as [ __ ] I can't
emphasize this enough young people in
general are generally more flaky than
older people but younger girls oh my god
you can't be sure that a plan you made
with them is happening until she
physically actually shows up
I suggest hitting the girl up early in
the day or the night before and hitting
her with a flirty text to confirm the
date if she's still down with it
something like hey you're still joining
me for the adventure of a lifetime
tomorrow right make sure it's fun and
flirty this way it makes her excited
about the date and make
it seemed like it's less of a chore the
alternative is not confirming with a
girl and just showing up at the movies
and sitting there through all three
hours of avengers endgame just to
realize your dates never gonna show well
I mean at least if that does happen you
can get back at her by sending her a
huge spoiler there you go
[ __ ] number four bring gum or mints
what you really thought I was gonna
break this down and explain this one
what do you think I am like buzzfeed
number five spray on some seductive
cologne man if you want to make your
date sexually attracted to you or any
girl sexually attracted to you then
fragrance is the easiest and perhaps
biggest thing you can do to build your
sex appeal the girls wearing a strong
seductive fragrance will instantly boost
how attractive and sexually appealing
you are to girls the best way to get
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when you're on the date having a strong
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the guys who don't even bother to air
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to the department store in spending a
ton of cash on a full bottle number 6
fix your wedgie hey you don't want to be
grabbing down at yourself the whole day
wear underwear and pants that are
comfortable and get your sausage
situation situated down there before you
go on the date
number 7 scope out her social media and
triple check to make sure she's real now
I've done tons of online dating and
there's been a few times when I almost
got catfished and I know some other gods
here on Mount Olympus who have been
catfished as well so I've come up with a
foolproof strategy to verify whether
she's real or not hey if you don't
FaceTime her since I know some of you
noobs are too scared to even FaceTime a
girl the easiest way to do this is to
look her up on LinkedIn but if you
younger and you and her don't use
LinkedIn then go to her Instagram and
look at her tag pictures if there are
almost no tag pictures then beep beep
[ __ ] that's the red flag and you should
sound the alarms to DEFCON 5 call the
FBI agent who's listening in on your
conversations and let him know that you
got another catfish
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you can also look at who she's following
and give yourself a better sense of
whether or not she's real number eight
share your location with your friends in
case it ends up like that movie get out
even if you've met the girl dated her
for a few months hell even if you've had
sex with her you never know her and her
family might be some psychos who are
gonna steal your body and have an old
guy take over your brain
number nine bring a condom yeah that's
it man
you don't really want me to explain that
one to you do you you've got to be
kidding me
you know what [ __ ] it roll the summary
on screen here and don't forget to click
the link in the description and use my
discount to get your hands on a strong
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scent bird for only ten bucks
wearing one of these will instantly get
you laid way more often and that wraps
it guys
Zeus out
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superstar
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